An Enneagram Valentine

History of Valentine’s Day

(edited from

Emperor Claudius II decided soldiers were better if they were single than if they had wives and families, so he outlawed marriage for young men. A Roman priest in 3rd century Rome named Valentine defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages in secret. When this was discovered, Claudius ordered him to be put to death.

Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for helping Christians escape Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured. An imprisoned priest named Valentine may have sent the first valentine after he fell in love with a girl—possibly his jailor's daughter—who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, he allegedly wrote her a letter signed "From your Valentine.”

A Pagan Festival

While some believe Valentine's Day commemorates the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial—around A.D. 270—others claim the church placed St. Valentine's feast day in February in an effort to Christianize the pagan celebration of Lupercalia.

Roman priests of the Luperci order would gather at a sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. They would sacrifice a goat for fertility and a dog for purification, then gently slap women and crop fields with the goat hide. Roman women welcomed this because they believed it made them more fertile. The young women would place their names in a big urn. The bachelors would each choose a name and become paired for the year with their chosen woman, which often ended in marriage.

Lupercalia was outlawed for being “un-Christian” at the end of the 5th century, when the pope declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day. It was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season.

Written valentines appeared after 1400. The oldest still in existence is a poem written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London. Later, King Henry V reportedly hired a writer to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.

How to pick the perfect valentine gift

The 1-Perfectionist wants a valentine card that says, “To My Good and Deserving Valentine.”

The 2-Helper wants a bottle of sweet-smelling perfume: “In Appreciation of my valentine—to help you spread your love. Two’s love to be appreciated.

The 3-Achiever wants a gift certificate to a spa to help keep her young and attractive. Threes pay a lot of attention to their image.

The 4-Romantic wants “to not be disappointed the NEXT day.” Valentine’s Day brings out his longing.

The 5-Observer is philosophical and wants every day to be like every other day. Holidays aren’t as important to her as they are to some types.

The 6-Questioner wants an umbrella to protect her from the rain, with lights at both ends so cars won’t hit her crossing streets.

The 7-Adventurer wants to do something exciting on Valentine’s Day, like riding in a balloon.

The 8-Asserter wants to dance so vigorously her feet hurt, a fabulous dinner, gifts of jewelry, a dozen roses, and a handmade card.

The 9-Peace Seeker wants flowers, peace, comfort, chocolate, and a kiss.

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