“Islamic Extremism” vs “Violent Extremism”

Some refuse to use the term "Islamic Extremists" to describe the terrorist group, ISIS, calling them "Violent Extremists." By attributing cause and accountability, we are better able to define who they are, delineate their mission and goals, and derive solutions to stop them. Naming them DOES NOT blame, or indict non-violent Muslims - not guilt by religious association.

The Holiday Season

Thank God for holidays. They provide entertainment, enjoyment, and enlightenment. Their importance is best described by comedian Henny Youngman, “I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up—they have no holidays.” We love the holidays and we blame the holidays. Here are the top ten reasons that we blame the holidays for our misfortunes.

What Will Your Verse Be?

I remember with fondness Robin Williams. He made me laugh and he made me cry. As the unorthodox professor in The Dead Poet's Society, Keating (played by Robin Williams) reminds the students of the elite Welton Academy that our time on this earth is precious and short, invoking the spirit of Walt Whitman's, "What will your verse be?"

Slender Man

Twelve-year-old girls charged with first-degree attempted homicide. Unbelievable! Are they responsible for their actions or do we need to look for other causes? Should we blame the victim? The weapon? The parents? Religion? Politics? The media? The girls attributed their behavior to the fictional character Slender Man. Perhaps we should also blame him...

The Most Bang for Your Buck

Do you spend your time trying to improve on qualities and abilities that you don't value; working on your "weaknesses"? Make the most of your time and get the most Bang for your Buck. Discover your top character strengths and abilities; using them in unique ways will increase happiness. Old = "What's wrong with you?", New = "What's Right with You?"

The Law of Attraction Revisited

The law of attraction is a quasi-scientific theory based on metaphysical pseudoscience and pop psychology which states "Like Always Attracts Like." I propose a Principle of Attraction wherein "Like Tends to Attract Like," founded on positive psychology principles and evidence-based mind-brain sciences.

Resilience: The Art of Bouncing Back

Bouncing back isn't just advantageous for a slinky and basketball. Resilient people cope well, recover quickly, and may actually benefit from stressful challenges. While there is a genetic component, resilience can be learned and nurtured...we can all learn the art of bouncing back.

Get Your Tickets Here for Blame Fest, 2013

John F. Kennedy eloquently stated, “Let us not seek the Republican answer, or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future.“ Alas, I wish it were so. Instead, Washington DC is the host of Blame Fest, 2013. Closed for Business - Open for Blaming!

8 Key Principles to Succeed

An Action Board is an evidence-based goal-setting tool based on 8 Key Principles to Succeed. Here is the real Secret - there is no secret; these principles are well-known and used by all who achieve success.

Throw Away Your Vision Board - Part 2

One year ago I wrote an article in Psychology Today called, Throw Away Your Vision Board. I suggested replacing your Vision Board with The Action Board. Over 40,000 hits later, I am still getting emails ranging from requests for more information to hate mail from Vision Board proponents...

5 Ways Blaming Hurts Relationships…

When it comes to detrimental things that you can do to screw up your relationships, blaming the other person for something – justified (in your mind) or not, is at or near the top of the list.

Can I Make Myself Happier?

The benefits of positivity are well-known. We're told "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade." Can anyone do that? What if I'm wired to be pessimistic? Is Happy a choice?

Who's to Blame In Connecticut

With the attack in Connecticut we grieve for the victims and their families, while we also search in earnest for an answer to the question of who’s to blame for these tragic events.

What do you know?

What Do You Know? Not much, You? What do we really know? It’s impossible to know the future and often difficult to know the present. At least we can be sure of being able to know the past; after all, they say that hindsight is 20:20. However, even history books can be wrong...

What Do I Expect?

I expect the best. I expect that everything should work out perfectly. I expect the Packers to win. Is this too much to expect?

Visualize and Make it Happen!

Vision Boards—the controversy continues

Throw Away Your Vision Board

Vision or Dream boards have achieved notoriety in the past few years with the release of the book, The Secret. An endorsement from Oprah also didn’t hurt.

A Surprising Journey

I received an anonymous comment on my domino theory blog. The writer provided positive feedback regarding the theory and made some suggestions. I responded; indicating that they must have taken a peak at my next few articles because I was going to write about the two topics that were the focus of their remarks. The response that I received took me by complete surprise.

The Domino Effect

The domino effect is where we approach our goals in a mindful, positive way; focusing on the process and the journey, rather than becoming outcome-oriented. In this way we always benefit and in some sense succeed from being on the path, whether or not we reach that final domino.

Dominoes vs Rainbows

As Buddha said, "It is better to travel well, than to arrive." Becoming journey-oriented rather than outcome oriented is essential for creating our own positive reality in a mindfully spiritual way. I propose a "domino" theory of goal-setting and urge you to give up on the pot-of-gold at the end of the rainbow. Yes, you can still believe in the tooth fairy...

Voice Your Choice

We are each full and active participants in our lives. We happen to life, life does not happen to us. Life is all about choices and taking responsibility to make those choices.

Going Down in Blames

It seems that in every newspaper that I open, every journal that I read, every TV show or TV news broadcast that I watch, blaming is front and center. The focus on blaming is not the pathway to positivity. Rather, it is through ubiquitous finger-pointing that we will go down in blames.

The Organizational Blame Game

Failure at some point is inevitable. Fortunately, given the right mind-set and culture, failure can also lead to great improvements within an organization. Learning from failure has the potential to improve our safety, efficiency, and chance at future success.

National Blaming Week

Last week should aptly be renamed "National Blaming Week". A mentally unstable young man commits a horrendous and senseless act of violence. Our response? Blame somebody - blame something! Many in this country responded to the recent shootings in Tucson by blaming anyone and anything that could have potentially and negatively influenced...

The Pursuit of Perfect as the Basis for Blaming

Tal Ben-Shahar is an expert on happiness, teaches at Harvard and has written some internationally successful books on the subject. He has identified the major obstacle to achieving happiness; the aspiration to a life that is not just happier, but perfect. It is also our habitual pursuit of perfect which is one of the leading causes of blaming. How does this happen?...

To Complain or Blame: Is That the Question?

The two greatest sources of our habitually negative thoughts are Blaming and Complaining. Our love for these two negative bedfellows is unhealthy and detrimental to us as individuals and as a society. While Blaming and Complaining have very distinct personalities, when it comes to performing the actions,...

The Original Blame

Let’s take a new look at the world’s oldest game – The Blame Game. Yes, that’s right; The Guinness Book of World Records has recently awarded Blaming the title of the world’s “Oldest Game.” It is fascinating, at least to me that...