Why Boys Belong in the Kitchen and Girls in the Garage

Men and women need to have the skills to survive in the new age—beyond gender stereotypes

Breakups as Breakthroughs

What if breakups aren't failures, but are quantum leaps instead?

The Truth About the Trayvon Martin Case

Trayvon Martin was shot because he was a young black man

Is it Time for a New Paradigm of Relationships?

What are relationships for? They're for challenging and supporting each partner in his or her - and her and his - self growth.

The Problem with “Follow Your Dreams”

Is it really possible for most of us to 'follow our dreams'? And what if our passion is to be right here, right now? A criticism of a common inspirational meme.

Why Hasn't a Man Snatched You Up Yet?

I've had a wonderful life and lots of great adventures in love. And I'm ready for an LTR. Now.

A Valentine's Day Musing

Love, as we also all know, is wider than the love between a couple of people who have sex together.

Can The Good Guys Ever Win in the War of the Sexes?

A man who approaches a woman is creepy if she isn't attracted him, but not if she is.

The Real, True, Honest to Goodness Key to Happiness

The key to happiness is an ancient secret that's not so secret, but it's very hard to do!

I Heart the Apocalypse

The apocalypse shows us what's important, even if we don't (really) believe it.

Is a Meaningful Public Dialogue Possible After This?

We all have strong opinions about our recent national tragedy; can we allow others to say what they have to say, and create a positive, meaningful national dialogue?

In Defense of Men

This culture isn't very nice to men. How can we all create a culture that's friendlier and more forgiving of men?

The Truth About Manifesting Your Dreams

Manifesting isn't magic; it's just what happens when you follow your own soul home.

So, What's Your Story?

Are the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves healthy or harmful?

The Power of Letting Go

The other side of the coin of the fear of letting go is the jubilation when we spread our wings and fly.

You're Not Ugly, and Neither Was I

If you struggle with telling yourself a story that you're ugly, consider changing that story. It's painful in the extreme to think that we're too ugly to live our best lives, yet so many of us feel this way. But that's a prison we create with our minds. With some compassionate attention and a shift in viewpoint, we can unlock that prison forever.

What Does It Mean to Be Mentally Healthy?

For World Mental Health Day, let's cultivate compassionate self-awareness for ourselves and others who struggle with staying balanced.

Is Happiness Even the Point?

Why is happiness so important, and is it, in fact, even sustainable? And if we were happy all of the time, how would we learn to surf the waves of our emotions, and to gracefully dance with our shadows?

The Danger of Letting Others Define You

When we feel that we only fit into one definition - when we believe how others define us or when we define ourselves narrowly - we lose parts of ourselves or feel that we can't give voice to parts that don't fit with that definition.

Shame on You! Do You Use Shame to Control Others?

Shaming others is a way we can often get people to do what we want, but is it worth it?

Acceptance Means Never Having to Say You're Disappointed

Disappointment means we haven't accepted that the person who disappointed us is not, in fact, us.

Working with the Good Times

When we experience low moods, it can be very difficult to do what we need to do to be succesful in life. But we can learn to use the times when we feel balanced to get done what needs to get done.

Using Values as Your Compass

When we struggle or feel lost, one easy way to ground ourselves is to use our personal values as a compass to guide our way.

A Valentine's Day Musing

Valentine's Day: the day of chagrin for singles and the imperfectly coupled everywhere (even when we pretend we don't care.) How can we use this day as a reminder to generate love every day?

Self-Awareness vs "Self-Fixingness"

So often in self-help and therapy, we forget the most important step to being able to live happily with our own minds: the deep self-awareness that flows beneath judgment.

When Words Confuse Rather than Clarify

We so often use words to clarify, but what happens when more words just confuse?

The stages of being a self-help book editor: Stage 2, the Christmas Gift Effect

Once you're over the self-diagnosis phase, you get to the other-diagnosis phase. Self-help books: the perfect stocking stuffer!

Who Am I? Self-Identity and Mental Health

What happens when we become overly identifed with a particular symptom, experience, or diagnosis? Is it just that it's comfortable to be in that place, do others help keep us in that box, and how can we expand our understanding of ourselves and our experience?

The stages of being a self-help book editor: Stage One - Self-Diagnosis & Inquiry

When you have this job, you're faced with more information on health and wellness issues than you may have ever been exposed to before. In the first stage, self-diagnosis, you binge on information, all of which promises to help you and everyone you know.

Why Do We Ruminate?

We ruminate to have the sense that we are taking action on a difficult problem, but when it gets out of control, what can we do?

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