"Is Adolescence Really Necessary?"

In their disenchantment with some early adolescent changes in their child, parents wonder if this transformation really need be? The answer is: Yes, so the process of redefinition for growing up can get underway.

How Boredom Can Afflict the End of Adolescence

When it comes to leading a more independent path through life at the end of adolescence, finding a working interest to like and taking an active interest in work one doesn't like can both be hard to do.

How Detachment from Childhood Begets Adolescent Boredom

Just because early adolescent boredom is common, doesn't make it okay. Parents need to keep a mindful eye on how long it lasts, how the young person is coping with it, and what they might do to help.

When Parents and Adolescent Get Stuck in a Hard Place

One trap for parents and teenager when in a hard place with each other is to think hard thoughts and feel hard feelings. By doing so, matters get worse. To make them better it helps to violate negative predictions and disempower feelings from influencing decisions.

How Detachment Changes Both Adolescent and Parents

Adolescence alters the child, the parent in response, and the relationship between them. Adolescence changes everyone.

Adolescence and the Allure of the Internet

Today's parents must raise children in two worlds, offline and online, and for adolescents freedom on the Internet has a powerful allure.

Keeping Adolescents Mindful of Parental Needs

For parents who want their teenager to act mindful of their needs, training in this relatedness needs to start in childhood (when it is mostly welcome) and not put off to adolescence (when it is mostly not.)

When Adolescents Continually Lie

Continually lying to parents needs to prove counter-productive for the adolescent.

When Parents Get Angry at Their Adolescent

One primary responsibility of parents is to teach their adolescent how to manage anger well through their instruction, interaction, and example in family life.

Parental Complicity in Adolescent "Problems"

Parental perception and parental enabling can contribute to what constitute adolescent "problems" in their eyes.

What Adolescents Can Learn From Parental Conflict

The job of parents is to provide a constructive example for conducting conflict with each other from which their adolescent can positively learn.

Room Rights in Adolescence

Parents need to respect the adolescent room for the many personal functions it can provide; the adolescent needs to respect parental needs for that room to fit into what they want in a family home. This is an accommodation that must be made.

What It Takes for High School In-Love Relationships to Last

Young people who fall in-love and work to turn it into lasting love can learn some mature communication skills that will benefit them later on, in this relationship if it holds, or in another if it does not.

Adolescence and Goal Avoidance

The closer to reaching a valued growth goal an adolescent gets, often the more ambivalent and resistant they can become.

Adolescence and Honoring Agreements

Keeping agreements is a teenage habit worth the parental effort to teach.

10 Ways to Stay Connected with Your Adolescent

There are affirmative actions parents can take to stay meaningfully and satisfyingly connected to their teenager as the process of adolescence grows them apart, as it is meant to do.

Developmental Dislike of Parents During Early Adolescence

One function of adolescence is to grow parent and adolescent apart. Dislike of parents is part of what allows this social separation to occur. Most important for parents to remember is that this loss of liking for parents does not mean any lessening of of adolescent love.

The Emotional "Trials" of Trial Independence (ages 18 - 23)

For many last stage adolescents (18 - 23) independence can prove too much of a good thing when they flounder in so much freedom, become stressed out, and experience emotional crisis as a result. At this juncture, parents can be of help.

Adolescence and Making Parents Proud

While the attached child tends to be happy to make parents proud, the detached adolescent can be more ambivalent about being a source of parental pride.

Protective Parenting an Adolescent

With all the media attention devoted to adolescents getting in trouble, getting hurt, and getting killed, it's hard for parents not to worry about their teenager and to act restrictively in her or her defense. However, the best protection parents can provide is self-management preparation for safely functioning in a hazardous world.

Adolescent Excellence and Managing High Expectations

When parents either support or encourage their teenager to have high personal performance expectations, they also need to provide guidance about how to manage their feelings when these outcomes are not met, as will sometimes occur.

Adolescence and the Dominating Friend

For many adolescents, after letting go the childhood dependence on parents, there is a need for a transitional dependence on an assertive and strongly defined same sex friend before feeling ready to rely more independently on themselves.

Re-clarifying Terms of Conduct at the Start of Adolescence

It is natural, and normal, and healthy for the beginning adolescent to test to what degree the old family demands and constraints of childhood still apply. It is natural, and normal, and healthy for parents to respond in the interests of the young person's safety and responsibility.

Adolescent Self-Management for a Successful Independence

A major goal of parenting high school age adolescents is helping them develop basic skills of self-management that will support more independence soon to come.

Helping Adolescents Keep Agreements

With more actively and passively resistant adolescents parents must work harder to get agreements made. Getting this habit of keeping agreements in place matters for healthy relationships with parents now, and for significant relationships later on.

Teaching Adolescents How to Manage Money

When parents neglect money management training with their child and adolescent, the lack can be expensive when they graduate a young person from their care who lacks a very important pillar of self-management responsibility.

Adolescence and Seeing What Can Be Gotten Away With

Growing up, adolescents sometimes test themselves by testing dangerous risks, family requirements, and social rules to see how much freedom they can get away with.

Adolescence and What Is Enough

Adolescence by it's very nature is an age of discontent where deciding what is "enough" in many facets of one's life can be very hard to do.

The Mutual Disaffection of Parenting an Adolescent

Compared with the mutual admiration society that tends to characterize the parent/child relationship, the parent/adolescent relationship can sometimes seem like a mutual irritation society as separation, differentiation, and opposition between them (all for growing independence) becomes more common, and necessarily so.

Older Adolescents and Mindful Alcohol and Marijuana Use

When parents know from the adolescent's past use of alcohol and/or marijuana that some degree of recreational substance use is likely to continue when living away from home, they can offer possible guide lines for mindful use the young person might be open to consider.