Myth of the Perfect Partner

Mary and Jordan are a couple I worked with fell into a pattern of avoiding sex because Jordan had come on too strong, too directly, without setting a context for love-making.

Those Who Make Your Checklist Often Don’t Make It

It’s the one that contains all the characteristics of the partner of your dreams, the one with whom you know you’ll experience happiness forever after.

Recovering From Adversity

When life bruises and wounds us, we can use even the scratches to etch a portrait of beauty and charm.

This Could Be the Biggest Threat to Your Relationship

It's often referred to as "the invisible addiction."

Post Traumatic Growth

Those of us who struggle with trauma, find that rising to the challenge reveals our hidden abilities that were formerly untapped.

Don’t Make the Mistake of Undervaluing Mistakes

And so instead of feeling horrible about the "mistake" he had made, the little boy experienced the "catastrophe" as something positive.

Myth: I’m Too Old to Find Love

Everyone dreams of finding sweet love.

Partner as Healer

As the trust and commitment in our relationship grew, I was able to speak to him about what I was experiencing: “I am a small, thin, delicate girl.

Why You and Your Partner Need to Celebrate Each Other

It's a bonding experience when our partner helps celebrate our successes and is not envious of our good fortune.

6 Steps to Getting Closer

Enjoying the transparency of another person is earned by building trust to the point where they know that their revelations will be treated with great respect.

Should You Really Tell Your Partner Everything?

So many of us had negative experiences in our past revealing our feelings and needs. We have been shamed and blamed for feeling the way we do.

Getting Serious About Your Marriage Is No Joke

It is a popular misconception that marriage counselors have some kind of magical powers that can fix relationships.

How Your Partner Is Also Your Mirror

When we learn effective conflict management skills, we learn to look at ourselves more of the time rather than at the other person.

The Myth of “I Should Have Done Better”

When we are living from the belief that “I should do better," and “other people should do better," it sets us up for chronic judgment, resentment, and disappointment.

The Art of Negotiation- Part 2

What if what’s true is that the institution of marriage isn’t the problem at all, but how people define it?

Mastering the Art of Negotiation-Part 1

When we each know ourselves well, and develop negotiation skills to lobby for have our needs met, we thrive.

Empathy Makes All the Difference: Part 2

When we cultivate empathy, the part of us that tends to be judgmental diminishes and other people immediately sense the shift in our attitude.

How to Become A More Empathic (and Less Defensive) Partner

Tension can quickly dissolve when we are sincerely willing try to empathize with the truth of our partner's feelings and perceptions.

Guilty of the Sin of Outdoing

Some families are truly happy to have their child outdo them. But others may resent our success.

Making Room for It All: Part 2

It’s easier said than done to accept our partner the way they are if we haven’t done our own work to know ourselves well.

Making Room for It All – Part 1

We deepen our capacity to experience life in general when we have a close connection with another human being.

Myth: My Jealousy Shows How Much I Love My Partner

You have betrayed me. You have ruined our beautiful world.

Love Can Turn the Ordinary Into the Extraordinary

“It’s my marriage that has been the place that I have found that has met my deepest needs to experience purpose, meaning, and contribution in my life."

Got Loyalty?

Demonstrating loyalty in all the possible ways we can think of is a direct and mighty way to strengthen the bond.

Self-Referential is Being Internally Self Referenced

A life that is self-referential is one that is flexible, fluid, and creative.

Balancing the Commitment to Self and Other

Balancing the commitment to self and other is one of the hardest things we do in a long-term partnership, requiring on-going calibration.

The Myth of Being Unlovable Part 2

For those of us who have been limited by the mistaken notion that we are unlovable, busting this particular myth with take us a long way toward well-being.

The Myth of Being Unlovable, Part 1

When we are feeling unloved, our mind makes up a story about how unlovable we are, filling in details about our supposed faults.

Holding the Mast in the Dark Night Sea Storm

When we fight, it can feel like we are adrift in a violent, dark night sea storm.

25 Things to Know About Your Partner Before You Tie the Knot

“If I knew that about him (or her) before we got married, I wouldn’t have been so quick to go ahead with the wedding".