Life-Changing Moments

It doesn't take long to have a life-changing experience. Sometimes a weekend workshop will do it. Sometimes a chance encounter is sufficient. Sometimes a moment...

Marriage and Happiness

A good marriage is one of the life-factors most strongly associated and consistently associated with happiness. Good relationships make people happy...

Complaints Are Highly Underrated

Many of us have resistance to voicing complaints. Even during those times when we are in touch with our dissatisfaction.


In the Buddhist tradition, Sangha means association, assembly, company, or community.

An Unusual Crucible

“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.” ~ Oscar Wilde

Life’s Most Persistent Question

Like Guy Noir, many of us are still looking for the answer to life’s most persistent question.

The Gift of Grief

Honesty, transparency, and vulnerability are qualities that most of us claim to value, yet when it comes to embodying these virtues in our actions and words, we may be reluctant...

Your Most Valuable Asset

Now that we’ve gotten your attention, let me just assure you that it’s not your bank account. But then you probably already knew that...

You've Got the Magic Touch

If you're a hardcore NPR listener like I am, you may have heard the Morning Edition show with Michelle Trudeau talking about the health-promoting properties of touch.

Why Bother? Part 2

The process of developing freedom in our lives is not the freedom to do what we feel like, nor the freedom to indulge ourselves, or to possess that which we desire.

Why Bother? Part 1

There are no guarantees that when we bring to the surface some of the material that needs healing that it’s going to benefit us right away...

Marriage Alone Does Not Make You a Better Person

When I got married, I was young, weak, wimpy, unconscious, and inexperienced.

Vulnerability Isn’t A Weakness; It’s A Great Strength

It is all quite experimental, this learning to communicate well with our partner. Far too many of us came to partnership with inadequate models of communication from our families..

Acknowledgment, Validation, and Praise

To sit down with our beloved in a formal session to exchange what I love about you is an intimate and soul-nourishing experience.

The Biggest Relationship Dealbreaker

For many people these behaviors certainly can be dealbreakers, particularly if there is no motivation, intention or willingness to stop or change the disturbing pattern.

Out of the Ashes

Sometimes it takes a great loss to remind us of what truly matters and to give us the experience that helps us to put things in perspective.


Life is sometimes difficult. We don’t get what we want, and we get a lot of what we don’t want.

Freedom and Power Must Be Grown from Inside

Living with a commitment to a balanced life doesn’t mean that we never get off track or caught up in one thing or another.

The Cure for an Imperfect Childhood

Some of us got off to a rough start in life, and for many of us, our childhood was missing the kinds of experiences that every child needs in order to thrive.

Playing Out Our Childhood Role

The roles that Dr. Napier refers to have to do with the functions that were assigned to us in our families, usually by our parents when we were very young, sometimes...

Family of Choice

Borrowing relatives from other families.

Be Your Own Hero

Albert Einstein talked about this kind of respect when he wrote: "A human being is part of the whole called by us 'universe', a part limited in time and space..."

Read this before heading home for the holidays...

Holidays, family meals, and reunions can include “spirited” conversations, and “enthusiastic” exchanges of opinions over the dinner table...

The Situation Is Urgent

There is usually one in the pair that can process information more rapidly than the other...

Really Getting Real! Part 2

What follows is an example of what such a self- characterization can sound like when it is delivered at the beginning of a relationship with the intention...

Really Getting Real! Part 1

Being clear about our intention, regarding a future relationship is a crucial factor in the process of finding a suitable and appropriate partner...

Ordinary Magic

Intimacy is so often contained in the ordinary moments: a lingering gaze, a brief touch, a hug, a gentle word of encouragement.

No Search and Destroy: Part 3

Here is a good example of a couple that has been doing Shadow work, by interrupting a downward spiral and turning a breakdown into a valuable conversation.

No Search and Destroy Part 2

We may find it helpful to befriend our shadow when we discover that these figures aren’t completely bad as we might at first have assumed.