A Letter to Young Sexually Active Heterosexual Women

This generation seems to be more misinformed than any other, likely because they get so much of their information from pornography. The most distorted information is about young heterosexual women’s sexuality. I hope that my letter can help to clear up some of these distortions.

The Privilege of Sexual Freedom

This Fourth of July, as you watch the fireworks and celebrate our country’s freedom, please remember that sexual freedom is a human right that not everyone has. Please appreciate your freedom and at the same time, consider helping those who don’t have this freedom.

The Joy of Mindful, Asynchronous Sex

During asynchronous sex, the receiver can connect her body and mind in space and time—or in other words, she can cultivate the mindful focus that has been shown to increase orgasmic capacity

A Linguistic Sexual Revolution: Naming the Clitoris

Let’s use language to shape our values around women’s orgasmic response. Let’s start naming the clitoris openly and proudly. Let’s use a nickname so frequently that it makes its way into online dictionaries. After all, calling the clitoris Tori, Doris, or Pepita is no stranger than calling the penis Tom, Dick, or Peter.

Seventy Percent: A Statistic to Enhance Your Sex Life

If more women and men knew this statistic, less women would be faking orgasm.

Using the Placebo Effect to Enhance Sexual Desire

Why take a drug, replete with side effects, when a placebo works as well? Instead, ask your doctor for an inert pill and believe it will increase your desire—because the research shows it will.

Hooking Up: Complexities and Double Standards

College students are hooking-up. Still, just what they are doing, and how they are reacting emotionally and sexually, is far from straightforward. What is clear, however, is that missing from the discourse is research on same-sex hookups and that in heterosexual hookups, the sexual double standards is alive and well.

A Touchy Subject: The Health Benefits of Masturbation

Masturbation is free and has more clear-cut health benefits than a multivitamin.

A Drug for Desire

This week, The New York Times Magazine ran an article about the testing of a drug to increase female sexual desire....I just wish the author had mentioned a simpler strategy or two. I wish he had mentioned methods that don’t alter brain chemicals.

Don’t Wait for Desire: Reverse the Equation

There is one piece of advice, steeped in scientific evidence, which has the potential to improve countless sex lives. This advice is most relevant for women in long-term committed relationships. That advice is....

Stop Spectatoring: Mindfulness to Enhance Sexual Pleasure

To put an end to spectator sex—and other distracting thoughts during sex— practice mindfulness. Focus on the sensations and not on how you are doing or looking. The next time you put out the “do not disturb” sign, make sure it is your own self you aren’t disturbing with distracting thoughts.

What to (S)expect When You’re Expecting

Dispelling the myths about sex during pregnancy and urging women to talk to their doctors for the facts

Female Orgasm: Time To Stop Shoulding on Ourselves

Psychologists—starting with Freud and continuing to this day—have been categorizing types of women’s orgasms and labeling one type superior to the other. It’s time to stop such nonsense.

How Many Times a Week Is It Healthy to Have Sex?

This week, I started teaching an undergraduate-level course on Human Sexuality. The first question I answered was “How many times a week is it healthy to have sex?” I don’t know if I answered this student’s question or not, but I hopefully illustrated the importance of clear language in discussing sexuality.

Turn the Pages to Turn up Desire

What does the research tell us about the ability of both erotic books and self-help books to increase sexual desire in the women who read them?

The Power of Appreciation

The more couples express appreciation for one another, the more successful their relationships.

Graham Crackers and the Mediterranean Diet: Sexual Functioning and Food

Graham and Kellogg preached sexual activity was bad for one’s health and that a good diet could help control this unhealthy evil. Recent science tells us that these men had the first part of their teachings completely backwards, yet were on the right track in terms of the second aspect.

Analyzing The Latest Study in the G-spot Debate

The search for the G-spot continues. Let's stop and ask some questions about who benefits from the debate, who is harmed, and what positive message women can take from the search.

What Science Tells Us About the Clitoris: It’s All Custom Under the Hood

While controversy exists, there is evidence that all orgasms are the result of direct or indirect stimulation of the clitoris, including both the external and internal parts of this often-misunderstood human organ.

It’s Funny But It Isn’t True: Debunking Myths About Aging and Sexuality

Folk wisdom and scientific research tells us that we often laugh at jokes because of the truth that they convey (i.e., "It's Funny Because It's True"). Still, the joke about aging and sex at the start of this blog may be funny, but it's not true.

Is Sex Always Pleasurable?

I hope the women in this class don't have to wait another 20 years until when someone asks, "Is sex pleasurable?" they scream YES! Let's work to stop sexual violence on college campuses and to educate women about their bodies so that these young women can be a chorus of affirmative voices.

Dont Just Make Resolutions: Make Time for Them

Reaching one's goals involves more than just making resolutions. It takes the action steps of prioritizing what is important, closely examining how you are currently spending time, and then finding ways to re-arrange your time to make room for priorities

Tis the Season

Tips to De-Stress During the Holiday Season

The “Right” Kind of Orgasm: Feeling All Right with Pleasure That Is Rightfully Ours

Our society's misguided beliefs about the correct form, of female orgasm—and the psychological impact that these beliefs have on women

Sexual Satisfaction: A Teachable Skill

Teaching your partner to satisfy you is similar to teaching a teenager to drive. Teaching both skills requires giving clear and direct verbal instructions, as well as providing demonstrations.

The Menopausal Symptom Women Don’t Tell Friends About

Vaginal dryness and painful intercourse are as much a part of menopause as hot flashes and night sweats. Break the silence, and tell your friends about it. Also let them know that information and help is just a mouse click and phone call away.

The Unselfish Act of Self-Care

Although people, especially women, often think of self-care as selfish, just the opposite is true.

Sex Lessons Learned from Pain and Disability

Orgasm is a proven pain reducer

Life Lessons Learned from Being Temporarily Disabled

I've learned some important and surprising life lessons from being temporarily disabled.

Pages