For the Sake of the Children

Many people in unhappy or conflicted marriages stay together for the purported sake of the children. This article examines this premise and explores what's really best for our children.

Why I Can't..... or Why Can't I?

Our beliefs and thoughts impact our lives more than any relationship.It would be wise to evaluate how we came to them and whether they truly serve us.

Raising Resilient Children

Despite our best efforts, many of our children suffer and struggle in having a happy and successful life. This is due in part to our following misguided beliefs about parenting. This article penetrates one such belief as it provides a pathway for developing resilience in our children through a deeper and more open communication.

Be the Change You Ask for in Others

You can't change others, but change yourself and their relationship with you. Our relationships are far more connected than you might imagine and when you change an aspect of yourself or communicate differently, it necessitates a shift in the other. The outcome is unpredictable, but the potential for change is summoned.

Relationships: Moving from Struggle to Success

The primary reason we struggle in our relationships is that we are literally unschooled in this most important area. Once we learn how to engage our relations by focusing on genuine commitment to process rather than the lip service of outcomes, we'll derive the ensuing benefits.

Don't Call Me a Shrink

The myth of objectivity keeps therapists mired in old science and blocks them from guiding and healing people in their goals.

Don't Put Your Best Foot Forward

The tendency to put your best foot forward has paradoxical results, as you end up betraying not only yourself but your relationship as well. Investing in your own authenticity opens the path to an honest and authentic relationship and is the foundation of emotional intimacy.

Being Heard: Breaking Through the Impasse

When we are confronted with challenging discussions, one of two things typically happens: We default to silence rather than experience the frustration of another failed attempt to be heard or we engage the risk and find the other person isn’t truly listening as they defend their turf. This article highlights the pathway toward being heard rather than shutting down.

Silence: A Relationship Killer

Silence can be utterly destructive to our relationships and to our own integrity. The absence of meaningful communication is contrary to emotional and verbal intimacy and moreover precludes possibilities of breakthroughs or resolution. This article look at how silence can be controlling and actually incite graver consequences than the upset being avoided by silence.

Rethinking Anxiety

This article explores the epidemic of anxiety gripping America and indicates that the way we are living/our operating worldview are producing this disorder. Mel further explains how our addiction to predictability and analysis leads to anxiety disorder, correlating this paradigm to the onslaught of fearful and self-measuring thoughts that are endemic to anxiety.

Freeing Yourself From the Grip of Low Self-Esteem

In order to vault past the tenacious grip of low self-esteem, look at your limiting core beliefs and thoughts. The first step is to appreciate how these beliefs first arose, and then see how they become self-fulfilling prophecies. Ask yourself how you know them to be true? You can transcend these constraints when you break free from the groove of recurring thoughts.

Self Esteem or Other Esteem?

The term self-esteem is poorly understood and generally misused. Most people seek a greater sense of self-worth by attaining things outside of themselves. This paradoxically leads to a betrayal of our authentic self. This article delineates the difference between self-esteem and other-esteem and suggests that only by embracing our vulnerability can we truly be strong.

Low Self-Esteem: A Missed Diagnosis

Although low self-esteem is not a diagnosable disorder, it is the source of many of our emotional and psychological maladies. Anxiety, depression, and failed relationships are often informed by low self-worth. This article depicts this correlation and sets the stage for addressing self-esteem issues.

Diagnosis Disorder

"Diagnosis Disorder" reveals an essential error of diagnostic evaluation, which confuses a diagnosis with being an actual thing in and of itself. This article maintains that the startling increase in ADHD diagnoses are due to clinicians' misconceptions and further explains the sociocultural phenomenon of ADHD, reframing our consideration of the challenge along the way.

Making New Year’s Resolutions Succeed

This article looks at why our New Year’s resolutions most often fail and disappoint us. The author, psychotherapist Mel Schwartz, explains what’s required to break through old habits and experience what he calls defining moments - times in which we can transform our lives.

Getting Past the Gridlock

Political gridlock is much decried, yet workable solutions outside of sheer capitulation have not surfaced. In light of the looming “fiscal cliff,” this timely article illuminates the underlying nature of partisanship and proposes methods to break through the gridlock.

The Right to Life: A Specious Argument

The right-to-life argument masks a deeper and more provocative issue: sexism. Upon investigation, the moral protestations around the sanctity of life unravel when we look beyond the fetus and consider how disposable the lives of our children are. Moreover, the degradation of women, veiled by ethical and religious argument, exposes a horrendous sexism perpetrated upon women

Would You Like to Be the Partner I Want You to Be?

Many people struggle with the changes that their partners might ask of them. This article explores the nature of this conflict and what a healthy resolution would look like. It further describes the potential for growth that change may provoke in a relationship.

Violence: an American Archetype

The latest horrific mass murder in Aurora, Colo., reveals a deep dysfunction within American culture: we are wed to an archetype of violence rooted in the individualistic, gunslinger attitude of the Wild West. Our culture has not outgrown this juvenile fixation with guns, and until we expose the underlying addictive pathology, we continue to be subject to its onslaught.

Seeking Authenticity

Authenticity is the foundation for genuine self-esteem and a self-empowered life. It frees us from the shackles of fear and conformity. This article exposes the consequences of not being authentic and highlights the ways to achieve it.

A Radical Reality

The emerging sciences have described a radically new and remarkable picture of reality. This is one in which all parts of the universe interconnect, flowing in wholeness and inseparability. Mel Schwartz illuminates the significant benefits to our lives if we aligned ourselves with this new vista of reality.

Is Our Society Manufacturing Depressed People?

Our society is in the throes of a virtual epidemic of depression. The numbers are quite staggering. More than twenty percent of the American population will experience at least one episode of what we refer to as clinical depression. We need to look deeper into this phenomenon to understand it and overcome it.

I’ll Be Happy When...

What is the source of happiness? We tend to assume that happiness will come from a future event. It typically depends upon something else happening.

When Doing the Best You Can Becomes a Compulsion

It is generally agreed that we should always try to do the best we can. Yet, if we really examine this assumption we find that it may lead to an unhealthy compulsion. When taken to the extreme, the need to be your very best can derail your ability to live a more balanced life.

Communication Is the Heartbeat of Relationship

If communication is the heartbeat of relationship, our relations clearly suffer. This is due to a lack of proper education in the art of communicating. Our self-esteem, relationships and success depend in large part on effective communicating. This article illuminates the challenges and begins to reveal the solutions toward coherent and masterful communication skills.

Turning Crisis into Opportunity

Crises affect all our lives, and little can be done to avoid them. However, when we learn to reframe how we view a crisis, we can often turn it into opportunity. Through a fundamental shift of mind, we can transform crisis into opportunity -- a process very much like alchemy.

Collapsing the Wave: Creating New Realities

We can utilize some of the remarkable discoveries from quantum physics to enable breakthrough changes in our thinking and in our lives. We struggle with change primarily because of how we think and how we believe reality to be operating. This article illuminates a simple yet profound approach for achieving new personal potential.

Stuck in a Groove

This post is the second in a continuing series on the nature of thought. It shares techniques for breaking free from the groove of old thought and introduces the Emergent Thinking® process, which enables us to gain a mastery of our thinking while creating the changes we desire.

Breaking Free from Your Comfort Zone

This blog post suggests that our most influential relationship is with our own thoughts. It furthers this thesis by explaining how old thought gets us stuck in our attempts to change. Disabling habitual thought permits us to embrace our discomfort, enabling us to come out of our comfort zone and empower transformative change.