Time to Tidy Up Your Head

When a book about tidying up your home hits the top of the best seller's list, there's got to be something worth reading in it. Or maybe this is just a wake up call for all of us to look at the kind of cleaning up we really need to do. The author asks that you completely empty your drawers and closets. I ask that you completely empty out your head.

The Art of Triangulation

Couples who cannot talk to one another need third part intervention: triangulation. Here, they can talk through their therapist and get the help they need in making a statement, a plea, noting a disagreement, exposing a private thought. Triangulation is often the magic pill that makes it OK to say what you feel and have it heard by another for interpretation.

Empty the Nest One More Time

Therapists are supposed to be the glue to those falling apart. Well don't let any therapist tell you that they do not often have to be their own glue. Hence, The Empty Nest Syndrome where your heart breaks each and every time the kids leave after an extended stay. The turkey was great and stuffing delicious and the cars pulling out of the drivway, heart-wrenching.

Bully For You

It's not writing an English paper or suffering through Algebra 2. It's bullying that is the worst problem kids and parents face in this back-to-school season and it is rampant. As a therapist I not only work with children who are the constant source of negative fodder but distraught parents who feel such pain for their kids. We need to stop this epidemic.

I Have Weight on My Mind and It's About 430 Pounds

I have weight on my mind and my new friend carries about 430 pounds of muscle, runs marathons, is training to swim the English Channel and has taken his weight situation and turned it into a Guinness Book World Record. And I forgot to say, he is a 3 time National Sumo Champ. That's what you do with 430 pounds.

Quit Giving Your Kids a "Hall Pass" Through Life

The last time I had a real conversation with my child is when I took away her cell phone and she could not text me. Is that how we really want to bring up our kids? We are trying to win their love by giving in to them on every issue. Time to give that up and get back to tough love. It is time to make our children better people and understand what that means.

The Other Side of Suicide

Weeks after his death, we continue to talk about and mourn the loss of Robin Williams. There is another side to suicide we should look at. Who are the real victims of this tragedy. Tabloids indicate that his wife is now suicidal. I hope not. And what about his three children? How should they feel about a father who just could not work through difficult times?

Your Clock Is Always Ticking

When faced with a potentially life-changing medical issue, it makes you take stock of everything. How will you deal with the issue at hand? But more importantly, what is it you need to clean up - I'm not talking about your closet or your desk, but your personal relationships and those issues in need of repair.

Monica and the Rest Who Deserve a Second Chance

16 years ago Monica Lewinsky committed a mutual indiscretion with the President of the Uniteed States. This month, Vanity Fair pays tribute to the "coming out" of Monica. Is she trying to derail Hilary Clinton from running, looking for a job, looking for a husband or just asking for a second chance? And if she and the President get one why not the rest of us?

Saying Goodbye to the Family Home

After living 24 years in the same home what stays and why hits the Good Will box? First toys? Plastic trophies? Baby clothes? The original earthquake kit we never threw out with diapers still in it? Dani's favorite baby food? Drawings? old yearbooks? And am I the only maudlin one wanting to hold onto all this stuff. Yes, it is stuff, but 24 years of memories I love.

Tears of Joy, Tears of Sorrow

Olympic skier Bode Miller exhibited tears of joy and tears of sorrow at the same time. Was he goaded into sharing a very private moment by a rabid reporter or was it fair game? Was he so emotionally caught up in winning a medal, the cheering crowd, the realization that it was the end of an Olympic career, that mention of his brother's death just caught him off guard?

Addicted to Law & Order

When I work at certain clinics, I am usually the only one in the room without a chemical addiction. But I do have my issues and I do understand addiction. Trading one addiction for another is very common, but I'm not giving mine up for any reason at all.

Quit Giving Your Kids a "Hall Pass" Through Life

The last time I had a real conversation with my child is when I took away her cell phone and she could not text me. Is that how we really want to bring up or kids? We are trying to win their love by giving in to them on every issue. Time to give that up and get back to tough love. It is time to make our children better people and understand what that means.

School is Back and so is Anxiety and Bullying

If your child comes home in tears, hides more in his or her room, claims that they are sick when they are not, they may be suffering fom school anxiety - fear of the classes, fear of tests, fear of parental reprocussions. They may also be the victim of bullying; a sad reality of the behavior of kids that has not gone away despite school intervention.

The Real World of Rehab

Caution to those considering entering a rehabilitation facility for treatment of addiction. Know what you are getting into. Look into the staff, the doctors. Be sure they are properly credentialed and that MD does not stand for "more medicine". You are looking to get clean, not infused with something new.The grounds may be beautifully manicured but it's the cure you want.

On Turning 85

Eighty-five is the new 65—if you met my Mom, you would agree.

Weight is Weighing on My Mind

When a 500 pound man is revered you know there's a lot more to him than what reads on the scale. While you are trying to shed those holiday pounds, Kelly Gneiting is trying to put them on, run his third marathon, swim the English Channel, climb Mt. Everest; that is when he is not on tour as the US National Sumo Wrestling Champion. That's why weight is weighing on my mind.

When Mom is a Drug Addict

I recently had a family come to see me. They were greatly concerned, that Mom was “using"—addicted to opiates and other narcotics that have kept her back pain at bay for years. A couple of pills in the morning get her up. Two more at breakfast. A few before making dinner. Yep, Mom is a drug addict!

When Daddy Loses His Job

Unemployment continues to rise. More and more of us are pink-slipped and panicked. It's not something one can hide. You need to have a frank discussion with your family. Explain to them the changes that need to take place. Childfen need the reassurance that the world is not going to fall apart. But make no mistake, your kids know what's going on and need real info.

My Best Solution for Treating Anger Management

I’m a believer in anger; not the smash-your-hand-through-a-wall type (although I’ve felt that physical rage). In my experience held-in anger eventually mutates into an explosion of rage that can no longer be contained. Take a bunch of little rages and stick them in a box and trust me, they conspire against you and come blasting forth.

How To Fake It Really Well

Are you a sports widow or widower? Is sex something that happens only when you "wear a nightgown made of Astroturf?" (T.Fields) And if you don't know what tinea cruris is, you better read this.

Reality Death Watch

TV continues to tackle new lows. More than 10 million people tuned on to watch Nik Wallenda attempt his walk across Niagara Falls. Or did they? Were they hoping for success or the big fall? And this kind of death watch is not limited to adrenalin rocking sports. Take a look at what has occurred in reality TV that keeps the fans coming back.

Why Buying a Bed Bugs You

If you’ve ever had insomnia, then a guy who refers to himself as “The Sleep Doctor” might be your first stop.

When Your Therapist Divorces You

When your therapist "divorces you" it is akin to chopping off a limb. Improper termination can trash years of good therapy. So how do you terminate a client?