I want to take you into a universe that many of you have read about, wondered about, or heard about, but don't know a single person who has actually entered. It's the world of self enlightenment through erotic experiences and it is known to many as Sacred Sexuality.

In this world, participants are able to enter new parts of themselves, enjoy safe exploration and have experiences that may seem erotic to the naked, untrained eye,  but the experience is not  sexual in the usual sense. I am not talking about a new kind of infidiltiy or a place to find new lovers or sexual intercourse. This is the place of self enlightment through the use of what many people call "sexual energy".

I just came back from nine days at one of the most impeccable sacred sexuality workshops that I have ever attended, where I got to explore this world more fully. It was run by The Divine Feminine and Awakened Masculine Institute and this one was held in beautiful Sedona, Az.

Now, I am a mini-van kind of girl - and this all sounded very New Age to me - but the truth is I am no stranger to the world of New Age. But I often enter it with a very skeptical baby toe.

I get to do these things because I am a sex educator/coach, always looking for resources for my clients. It's a rough job, but someone has to do it! So there I was with a group of fifty people - men and women - off to explore how to find the sacred in sexuality. As I said in the beginning, there was a divine purpose to this gathering. We were on a spiritual path together, intentions were clear, boundaries were stated by our teachers who were ready to  guide us on a nine day exploration.

I was with a new girlfriend from NYC - Let's call her Sleeping Beauty. Sleeping Beauty was by her own admission a woman who lived in the masculine side of life.  She came to the conference to try to soften her heart more into a more feminine self. One of the rituals that this organization believed in was doing "Sacred Spot" blessings on both men and women. This got many of us squirming right away!

What is Sacred Spot you might ask? On women it's their G Spot and for men it's their prostate. There was a lot of nervousness as the week got further and further along - and we were approaching working in groups of threes (called a pod) to learn how to do this blessing on each other. It was also believed that by doing this Sacred Spot massage and blessings - that we could heal parts of ourselves as well as  open other parts.

Sleeping Beauty was imploding. "I don't want a woman or man to touch my Sacred Spot! This is too weird." I had to agree - I wasn't too sure about this either - but we didn't have to do anything we didn't want to do - and Sleeping Beauty could simply watch and "hold space" for her pod. "No!" She said. I came here to do everything! I am going to do this!"

There was lots of preparation and lessons so that we could go into this experience well prepared.

So when it came time for us to work in our little group of three women (that we got to pick), to give and receive this ritual of sacred spot blessings that would have the possibility to open us up to the divine feminine in ourselves - Sleeping Beauty jumped in with two very nervous, but ready feet.

I didn't see her during her ritual, but I did see her afterwards. Her blond hair always put up in a tight pony tail was down, her hair flowing around her now glowing face.

"What happened to you?" I asked her. "OMG Pamela! This is all so freaking out there! No one in my life would ever believe what I just did!  And yet - I just had an experience that has changed my life with all women of the world and myself. I gave sacred spot touch on Sally. It was the first time I have ever felt what a man feels when he touches a woman. How crazy is that? We are amazing inside! We feel so different than I ever imagined! I am so proud to be a woman! We are damn cool! This was the best thing that I have ever done. I now understand how amazing and beautiful I am. This experience has forever changed my relationship with myself and other women. Nothing will ever be the same. It was as if her vagina told me secrets that I never knew about myself and all other women. I am humbled and in awe of us."

Her blue eyes were as big as saucers. Some kind of healing occurred for Sleeping Beauty and her transformation was glowing from her face like moon beams. I took her over to a mirror to see her own face. We both just stared at this new beautiful woman together. Her heart seemed softer - somehow this experienced revealed to her some great big secret about her own femaleness that she never knew before. She was now simply Beauty.

After the rituals were complete, I needed some alone time to think about all of this. Who were these people from across America and other countries who had assembled to do this?

I watched people process their emotions and go deeper into their lives, in ways that I found extraordinary. I watched married couples soften to each other in ways that they hadn't in years. Holding hands and kissing in the parking lot - the same couple that was fighting on the first night.The vulnerability, trust and beauty that was shared in this group was like nothing I had ever witnessed before.

When I am being flip - I call this stuff "woo woo" because I tend to dismiss things that feel too New Age to me. But if I did that with this - if I didn't move past my own squirm factor - I would have missed so much!

There is real work being done at these off the beaten track conferences and they are being done with impeccable integrity.

The transformations were extraordinary. People found out who they are on a much deeper level and some even healed issues with their religious upbringing, teachers, family or past trauma. I saw shame being lifted and people letting go of a belief that they were not worthy of pleasure or love in their lives. 

This Mini Van Girl could be a little "woo woo" if being woo woo was transformational in a knock your socks off kind of way. I am flying home from the retreat heading into a week of kids and Spring Break, and I can't find my socks. They were knocked off in Sedona.

About the Author

Pamela Madsen

Pamela Madsen is the author of Shameless and founder of The American Fertility Association.

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