So many women have asked me how to get their sexy on - in their own bodies. They want to know how they can turn themselves on! Do they need a partner? Can they relight their own pilot light? Raise their own sexual desire up a notch or two? They want to feel better in their own bodies. And they want to do it without sitting on a therapist couch. I get it. And I have some ideas! Of course I do! And as usual - my ideas come from my own real life experiences.

What do you know about Burlesque? Frankly, I knew just about nothing about it except that it was some kind of old fashioned stripping. I had no idea that it could be a tool of embodiment, self pleasure, and a libido lifter! Oh yeah - taking a Burlesque class can help you get your sexy on! I stumbled over it quite by accident on my Shameless book tour. I had a quiet afternoon in Seattle - and there was a inexpensive class being offered.

I don't know if it was the music, or the opportunity to take up sexual space (burlesque is all about big sexy movements) and turning on my siren energy - but I was getting hotter and hotter with every shimmy and shake. I loved "Knocking over the Tea Cups" with every swing of my hips. After the class I felt so damn sexy - and good about my body. It was amazing.

I started to go to a few Burlesque Shows while I was on the road reading and running workshops from city to city - and I got to see the fabulous Coca Lectric and Indigo Blue. I loved the costumes - and all of the body types being celebrated. Wow - I thought! How come I didn't know about this before? I couldn't believe how sexy I felt both participating in a beginner's class and watching the women on stage. It was an eye opener for me! Best of all - it was open to all. Even you!

Before I knew it - I was at S Factor in Chicago ( S Factor has studios in LA and NYC too). And another light bulb went on in my head! I toured the studios and fell in love with Sheila Kelley's concept of pole dancing to help women find their inner erotic creature! Oh my! They were talking my language! I loved that there were no mirrors in the studio - and the lights were dimmed. This was about feeling sexy from the inside out! This was about embodiment! Oh yeah - S Factor had lots of sexy clothes for sale (at reasonable prices) - but they were there to turn YOURSELF on!

How many times have I talked about dressy sexy for our own sexual engines! The staff was incredibly warm and supportive and came in all shapes and sizes! Don't let the gorgeous S Factor founder intimidate you with her amazing body - she got there from the inside out - and is making all comers feel welcome! I am ready to start pole dancing in NYC!

I know several women who are now dancing tango to turn themselves on - and a few experimenting with yoga! In fact at my upcoming Pleasure Now! workshop in Woodstock, NY - I am introducing "Shameless Yoga" with the fabulous certified yoga teacher - Lisa Rosenthal.

The fact is that we can turn ourselves on - and finding that sexy light inside of ourselves is often the best way to find true orgasmic bliss, self acceptance - and charging up our sexual core as an engine to power the rest of our lives. It's not about him ladies - it's about you!

About the Author

Pamela Madsen

Pamela Madsen is the author of Shameless and founder of The American Fertility Association.

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