When We Help Others, We Help Ourselves

Considering our tendency to become overwhelmed and upset by too much stimulation, you would think we’d hide from such experiences. So why do HSPs always feel the need to help? Perhaps it’s because we know what it’s like to need help.

Sensitive and Strong: Can We Really Be Both?

When it comes to inner strength, or resilience - the ability to cope with difficult situations, deal with stress, and overcome the odds - highly sensitive people seem to have some kind of secret ability to weather life’s storms.

One Thing You Need to Make Relationships Work

While relationships take effort and working on them can make them better, the fight for happiness is often futile. Why? It’s not because two people are not destined to be together or because real love doesn’t take any work. It’s because all too often, we’re fighting against each other instead of working together.

You Don't Have To Go It Alone

Highly sensitive people don’t have to go it alone, nor do we have to be social butterflies, filling our lives with Facebook friends and a bursting social calendar. We can find our need for silence and solitude, for creativity and reflection, as well as our need for human connection, in our own unique way.

How to Cope as a Highly Sensitive Extrovert

Most highly sensitive people are introverts, but not all. According to Elaine Aron, 30 percent of HSPs are extroverts, which can present its own set of challenges.

How Your Sensitivity Can Help You Reach Your Goals – Part II

In a previous post, I wrote how our sensitivity can lead us to feeling overwhelmed, but the energy that HPSs are constantly absorbing can also be channeled into our own pursuits, fueling us with the drive we need to reach our goals. Here's how.

New Research Shows Empathy in HSP's Brains

Elaine Aron and her colleagues have just published a new study which is the first to prove that the brains of highly sensitive people are markedly different from others. Results of the research showed that sensitivity was associated with activation of brain regions involved in awareness, integration of sensory information, empathy, and action planning.

How to Make Work Work for an HSP

It’s easy for highly sensitive people to become trapped in a victim role, even when it comes to work and the way we spend our spare time. We struggle to find jobs that will fulfil us in a world more focused on monetary gain. But while our natural instinct is to retreat in order to regain our strength, a proactive approach can be the secret to our success.

Coping with an Emotional Bombshell

Many of us have found ourselves in a situation where we're listening, concerned, and wanting to help. Whether it’s a friend, a parent, a husband or an adult child, however, we can easily become drawn into the emotions of someone else so deeply that we begin to put their needs above our own.

How Mindfulness Can Benefit Highly Sensitive People

Mindfulness is becoming an increasingly common term used to describe a state of being. It’s not a religion or a philosophy, but a technique that encourages acceptance, appreciation and living in the moment. To me, it’s something that highly sensitive people can not only benefit from, but something we do naturally.

5 Ways Walking in Nature Benefits Sensitive People

For most sensitive people, there is an instinctive longing for the natural world, and the fulfilment of that longing frequently results in what can only be described as sublime. HSPs not only enjoy time spent in nature, but we need it.

Finding the Meaning in Your Work

Empathy is one of the greatest gifts of highly sensitive people. It means that we not only understand what others are going through, but we can put ourselves in their shoes and feel their emotions. But there must be a balance between helping others and helping ourselves.

You Can Change Your Life

Many of us face the challenge of repeating the same mistakes or behaviours over and over, and not understanding why or what to do about it. On our quest for self-improvement, we can easily find ourselves not climbing a mountain, but running on a treadmill, and despite all our best intentions and efforts, getting nowhere.

Coping With Stress by Controlling Your World

In our attempts to create a calmer world around us, we often end up focusing more on other people’s feelings and needs than our own, a common HSP tendency that can easily spiral out of control.

Coping with a Setback the Sensitive Way

A setback or disappointment can be particularly devastating for highly sensitive people. We feel emotions so intensely, that when faced with defeat or misfortune, it can shake us to our core. But the best strategy for HSPs trying to cope with life’s difficulties is use your own unique sensitive traits.

3 Ways to Learn to Love Yourself

Loving yourself is essential to your own personal growth, to the fulfillment of your dreams and to developing healthy, happy relationships with others. Instead of trying to talk yourself into self-love, learn to love yourself with these 3 practical steps.

Why We Help Others Instead of Ourselves

Relationships can be difficult for HSPs because our sensitive natures tend to attract people who need help, like a lighthouse offering shelter in a storm. But have you ever wondered why we are attracted to them? What is it about troubled souls that we find so alluring and why do we stay with them?

Keep the Bullies at Bay by Building Your Confidence

High sensitivity is often mistaken for insecurity or low self-esteem, which consequently attracts people who are either insecure themselves or who see you as a potential victim.

Respond to the Present, Not to the Past

Our emotional reactions to conflicts are based on our own fears and unresolved issues. It seems as though the other person is causing us to feel upset, but they are usually triggering a memory or a feeling from our own past and that’s why it hurts. Instead of reacting to pain from the past as if we were still children, we can choose to respond to the present as adults.

The Top 10 Traits of Unsafe People

Have you ever begun a relationship with someone only to find out several weeks, months or even years later that this person was not who you thought they were? Perhaps even more upsetting is the realisation that you have found yourself in the same unfulfilling relationship pattern. The solution is recognise the difference between a safe person and an unsafe one.

The Dark Side of Sensitivity

When you’ve experienced repeated humiliation, rejection, judgement or criticism because of your sensitive nature, many of us will tend to respond not only with hurt feelings but with damaging behaviours that ultimately push away the love and acceptance we’ve always longed for.

Why You Can’t Avoid the Partners You Choose

I came across a remarkable statement recently that made me realise that when it comes to relationships, some things are your responsibility and some things are out of your hands. The key is knowing the difference.

Stop the Narcissist Relationship Cycle

Leaving a relationship is always difficult and painful, and leaving one with a narcissist can be even harder. Even when you do find yourself starting over, many of us end up in a similar relationship with someone else. Changing your relationship patterns comes down to recognising that there are two people in any relationship and the only one you can change is you.

Caring For Other People’s Feelings Takes Its Toll

One of the gifts of high sensitivity is our ability to be acutely aware of other people’s feelings and to respond to those feelings with empathy and compassion. But it can be a challenge too, as we not only notice others’ feelings, but take them on as our own.

The Importance of Peace for HSPs

More than anything else, highly sensitive people need peace. We need it even more than we need quiet. Peace is the sense that everything is all right in our world and we are free from worry. Peace gives us the space and the freedom to let go of distractions and stressors, it gives us time to think and to just be, which in turn opens up a space for creativity to blossom.

Are You Storing Stress?

Many of us have spent so much time coping as a sensitive person that we aren’t even aware of how stressed we are. But it slowly takes its toll on our sensitive nervous system until we feel exhausted or need to retreat from the world. Sometimes we end up with physical ailments that seem to have nothing to do with what’s going on in our lives.

How to Break the Cycle of Insecure Relationships

No matter how strong, secure and healthy we are, an unhealthy person will not rise up but bring us down, so that eventually we feel as weak, depressed, anxious and insecure as they do. So if you’re feeling confused or upset and your partner blames you, criticises you or tries to make you feel bad about yourself, you believe it. And that’s why it’s so hard to leave.

The Excitement and Sadness of Unhealthy Love

HSPs need relationships that are supportive and caring in order to thrive. And while there can be excitement and drama with a person who needs help, it will ultimately be exhausting, if not debilitating.

The Relationship Between Sensitive People and Narcissists

Many highly sensitive people have asked me why they so often end up in relationships with narcissists or other negative types of people, who take advantage of us, drain our energy and take our kindness without giving anything in return. So what is it about sensitive people and narcissists that creates such an attraction and leaves such a trail of destruction?

How Sensitivity Can Help You Reach Your Goals

One of the hardest things to cope with as a highly sensitive person is the intensity of our feelings. The result is that we can feel overcome by emotion. But these feelings don’t have to cause us to run and hide. In fact, they can be the very thing that can lead us to our dreams.