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Struggling With Premature Ejaculation? Keys to Control

Do you hope to last longer in bed? These tips steer sexual control.

Key points

  • A man can learn how to "last longer" during sex by masturbating and then stopping right before ejaculation.
  • Masturbating once or twice a day desensitizes one's reflex to ejaculate.
  • Having sex without penetration can sometimes ease anxiety.

Premature ejaculation can be a difficult problem to have. The amount of suffering and the blow to a man’s confidence can be enormous. I know this because I work as a sex therapist and relationship expert. Clients contact me from all over the world looking for the premature ejaculation cure. This is the advice I give to these men. You can also watch my YouTube video on the subject.

  1. You have to learn how to last longer by practicing. You learn this the fastest through masturbation.
  2. When you masturbate, pay attention to how it feels right before you ejaculate. This sensation is called your “Point of No Return.”
  3. The goal is to learn how to control that "Point of No Return" reflex through masturbating and then stopping right before you ejaculate. Learning how to back off, breathe, and calm yourself will help you learn how to gain control over when you ejaculate.
  4. By learning how to back off when you feel like you’re going to ejaculate, you create control and feel more in control of the sexual experience.
  5. Practice by masturbating this “Start-Stop Technique” at least two or three times every time you masturbate. In other words, masturbate until you are about to ejaculate then stop, let your erection die down a little bit, take a few breaths, then start masturbating again. Repeat this cycle three times before you allow yourself to finally ejaculate.
  6. To help cure premature ejaculation, you should be masturbating every day if not twice per day. It helps to desensitize your reflex to ejaculate.
  7. Sexual control is a learned mechanism. It may take months of daily practice to learn how to last longer.
  8. Be patient with yourself. There is no quick fix.
  9. When you are with a sexual partner, make sure you have ejaculated already that same day. If you haven’t ejaculated recently, you are very likely to ejaculate faster than you would like.
  10. If you happen to ejaculate with a partner before you have wanted to, do something to make sure your partner has an orgasm. When your partner is left hanging it is not as good of an experience for them. Making sure they are pleasured is what makes you a good lover.
  11. If your anxiety is all about having intercourse, have sexual relations without penetration.
  12. If you are in a relationship, tell your partner you are working on lasting longer. It may help ease some of the nervousness associated with having sex.

Overall, make sure that you give yourself credit when you do make progress. Sometimes even lasting a few seconds longer is a reason to celebrate.

One of the things that really kills the mood is criticism. If you or your partner is being critical of your sexual skillset, kindly remind them you are working on it. If you are being critical of yourself don’t make it a focal point of the sexual experience. Nothing kills the mood faster than comments about your performance.

The last tip is to enjoy and relax. We only want sex or a sexual experience to be tension-reducing and relaxing. Focus on staying aroused and relaxed. Let sex be a tension-reducing and pleasurable activity.

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