Want to Be More Persuasive? Use The Right Body Part First!

All people from time to time find themselves in a situation in which they want someone to see it their way. To be maximally persuasive, skip the sweet-talking, forget being insistent, and avoid all debating. Instead...

Loneliness: a Temporary State or a Vulnerable Way of Life?

Guy Winch's new book Emotional First Aid offers the best understandings I've seen of the pernicious impacts of loneliness. He also suggests how to break free of social isolation to begin forming gratifying connections.

A Marriage Therapist's View Of Our Dysfunctional Government

Our government leaders' animosities toward each other could be steering us toward national disaster. From a family therapist’s perspective, what they need to change is simple and clear. And it's not about the money.

A Big Family: Does Number of Sibs Impact Divorce Risk?

A recent study suggests an interesting relationship between the size of the family a child grows up within and the likelihood that in adulthood that child will end up divorced.

Fighting About Money? Beware!

When couples fight about money, they are moving forward on a high risk road. Danger ahead.

Options for the Unhappily Married

Country music group Pistol Annies poignantly sings about how marriage can become a trap. At the same time, the words suggest ways to open the trap and find routes to happiness,

Marriage Arguments: Can All Conflicts Be Resolved?

Marriage involves living life in partnership, which inevitably creates conflicts. Can all these conflicts be resolved? Two leading marriage psychologists, Gottman and Heitler, attempt to resolve their opposing views on this issue.

What's All This Talk About Couple “Communication Skills?”

Before you think of committing to marriage, be sure that you and your potential partner have the communication skills to build a marriage that will be forever loving and lasting.

I Know I Need Therapy Help, but Is My Therapy Working?

Not all therapy proves to be helpful. How can you assess if the particular therapist and treatment you are involved with are likely to succeed in helping you to solve your problems? Here are two perspectives and a set of nine guiding questions.

Beware Of Mistaken Marriage Advice That "All Couples Fight"

Beware of marriage advice that suggests that all couples fight. They don't. Successful couples also don't sweep their differences under the rug. Here's their alternative to both fighting and to pretending that problems don't exist.

"Just Listen To Me!"... Is This a Mistaken Request?

This advice may be common but it's still bad advice. Here's what folks really want when they try to talk over a problem with a friend, spouse or even a therapist.

Resilience: Why It's Vital and How To Enhance It

Resilience is the ability to spring back after an unfortunate situation has triggered negative emotions. Tennis players recover within 25 seconds. Tennis players are just humans. If they do resilience so quickly, you can learn to do it too.

Wisdom About Life From a US Prison Guard

Felicia, who sat next to me on a recent airplane flight, is a powerful tall, strongly built Black woman who has worked for eleven years as a guard in the US federal prison system. I liked Felicia immediately, and learned a lot about jail and life from talking with her.

Stress in Relationships: 10 Sources and Their Antidotes

Stressful circumstances inevitably, from time to time, land on every couple's doorstep. It's what happens next that make stress either shrink or grow.

Want Marriage Problems? Expect Your Spouse to Be Perfect

Odds are that if you have a tendency to criticize your spouse, you mistakenly have been expecting perfection. Big mistake.

How to Express Feelings... and How Not to

Expressing feelings enables us to think through and move on from troubling negative emotions. It also brings us closer to those with whom we share these feelings. On the other hand, mistakes in how we express these feelings (like saying "You make me feel...") bring on the opposite effect. This particular phrase pushes people away and makes matters worse.

How to Love: A 5-Part Action Plan

To fall in love is a passive act. To sustain love takes actions.

Mother's Day Dread

I dread Mothers Day because I deeply miss my Mom. That's her with me in this picture. If your mom has a borderline personality disorder, however, there's other reasons why Mothers' Day may be no fun.

Got an Anger Disorder? Not According to the DSM

There's diagnostic categories in the DSM for anxiety disorders, and also for depression. Why not for anger? What a peculiar blind spot!

Are You Falling Out of Love? A Quiz on 10 Warning Signs

Falling out of love has become the number one cause listed for divorce, at least according to a study in England. It's trumping even affairs and abuse in terms of frequency. The good news is that falling out of love is something you can prevent. How?

Counseling: Who Gets It? For What? Who Doesn't? Why Not?

Why, even more than physical health care, does mental health care go to so few of the folks who need it? Of those who do get help, what do they want the help for?

Marriage: 6 Guidelines from Ancient Wisdom Texts

Texts from 1500 years ago abound with teachings about how to create healthy marriage partnerships. Here's a sampling of six.

Mad Enough to Tell Someone to 'Take a Hike!' ?

Lo and behold, the old expression of anger ‘Go take a hike!’ turns out to be good advice.

Energy Therapy: An Exciting New Frontier

Can energy therapy treatment help a young boy with reading disabilities? Seems to be a resounding yes in this case. And help with his too-quiet voice as well. Here's how.

Is Natural Better?

A new book sheds light on the question of whether natural approaches to diet, childbirth, healing and the environment really keep us healthier and happier.

Marriage Problems? Here's an 8-Step Rescue Plan

What if you look back on your marriage and remember the early good times, but now your marriage is hitting bumps and feels hopeless? This self-help version of couples counseling can put you on smoother and more solid ground.

Should Kids Have a Voice in Post-Divorce Planning?

Do father and mother know best? Will kids feel caught in the middle? Or are kids the experts in what will be best for them?

How To Prevent Your Marriage From Making You Depressed

Can marriage cause depression? See these 9 research findings for both the good and the bad news.

How Contempt Destroys Relationships

What is it about snide remarks and dismissive listening that make them so potently destructive? What causes their impact on loved ones such as a spouse or children, and even on work associates, to be so relationship-shattering?

Paper, Stone and Scissors: How a Game Explains Relationships

What can a children's game teach us about sustaining positive relationships and being a winner in life?

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