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As we navigate the stages of aging that begin just after young adulthood, our beliefs and fears may manifest differently as we chronologically age. While we do not have control over the years that pass in our lives, we do have some control about how we regard those passing years, how we spend time, and with whom we spend it. Positive self-esteem and outlook can provide a kind of road map for how that might look. Let’s begin fairly easily.
Do either of these thoughts ever surface for you?
- I have already retired, or will be retiring, and I still want to be productive.
- As I age, there are fewer activities in which I can participate, like playing handball or football with my grandchild, running or working out.
Self-esteem and positive self-regard is an important factor in our level of life satisfaction. This is especially important as we reach older age, because in our society there aren’t many positive signs we see in the various media. Meanwhile, what can be done if chronological older age is anything over 75? If that is either you, or a loved one, or a friend – read on.
There are a few strategies that can be put into place quickly, while others may take a bit of time. Let’s look at those questions above.
How do I retire and still feel productive? The stock answer is to do volunteer work, and that may not work for some. If mobility is an issue, then going out to volunteer is not realistic. But wait – there are opportunities that may not require leaving one’s home. One such activity is reading for the blind. Another option might be online tutoring, which is exclusively online. Volunteering is a wonderful way to share some of yourself with a willing partner, someone who needs that service but cannot pay for it, or may not know where to turn. A third volunteer option may involve using your expertise or passion to write – perhaps a blog that is helpful to people, or be published in a newsletter or local paper. Most important, if you feel you want to do something, do it. There are many who need your help.
As I age, there are fewer activities I can participate in, like playing handball or football with my grandchild, running or working out. This is what I call believing in the Deficit Model of Aging. Reframing is important for all of us, and it’s also where we have the most control. Frame a vision of yourself doing something you can do right now, physically; things like taking walks, exercising your arm and leg muscles or swimming are all options. Can’t walk for long periods? Maybe try a mobile lightweight foot/leg exerciser, easily found on any online site. By taking steps to make your vision happen, you are framing it in a positive light and adding joy. It can be difficult to change, but if we embrace them and stop the desire to fight, we might discover a new hobby or thing to do. Enjoy photography? That can be done without walking or even standing. In fact, with a decent phone these days, the purchase of a camera and film is not necessary. Aquatic exercise, which does entail going out to a gym most of the time, allows for new friendships perhaps as well as safe monitoring by professionals.
These are but a few suggestions to begin the conversation of how you can and do control the next stage, whatever stage that may be, in your aging process. Aside from physical illness, there are things that you can at least have some influence on, and some would argue that attitude and positive framing and visioning might impact physical aspects as well. The reframing is up to you, as is the level of enthusiasm with which you approach each stage/event. Sometimes, we learn that if you’ve been a fairly positive-thinking person during your life, these reframes won’t be that challenging after time. If you’ve been a negative person, you can still turn it around. AARP and local libraries hold regular groups, such as reading groups, 60 plus years of age get-togethers, and are typically open to other get-togethers that you may suggest. Those types of volunteer activities can be done in all sizes of communities, and in all geographic areas. Your life experience enhances anything you feel you can, and are willing to share. Wisdom is not guaranteed with age, but it often is a by-product that is valued. Sharing yourself – there is nothing much more productive than that! That Deficit Model can be defeated. If we weren’t resilient, I doubt this blog would be read.
“Reading to the blind” – National Advisory Committee BVA National Representative Edward Eckroth, eeckroth@bva.org
AARP http://www.aarp.org/giving-back/?intcmp=FTR-LINKS-ACT-VLNTEER
Tutoring online: http://invite.careervillage.org/onlinevolunteering/?Career Village site.
