Celebration Planning Can Be Effective Therapy

Can planning a wedding (or any milestone celebration) be effective therapy? Yes, it can! I explained how in my interview with the Imago Relationships International Think Tank.

Fail! A Tip for Valentine's Day

It is necessary to fail in all of ourrelationships if we ever want them to grow.

Same Sex Marriage Has Opened Doors for All of US

The new paradigm of marriage explodes restrictive categories and in their place offers greater freedom for both gay and straight couples.

Into the White White Woods

What better time to address racism, and the ill-effects of unchecked systems of power and privilege, than when we are seated comfortably in our bubbles of power and privilege? While watching holiday movies with our families. A time during which we celebrate fantastic images of who we are--or at least who we dream ourselves to be--projected onto an enormous screen?

Modern Marriage

We can use the imagination and the will to adapt that allowed us to claim meaningful partnerships in the face of adversity--and against all odds--to remain awake, alive, and engaged with our spouses, well beyond our wedding days.

How My World Became the Real World

Reality will always be there to give us the hand and say, "You shall not pass!" But the trick is to not retreat or have a tantrum. But instead to feel the blow of disappointment and then adapt, until the world, transformed by your impact, has enough room for you to be in it.

Hand-in-Hand: Marriage Equality and Gender Equality

As we wait for the U.S. Supreme Court (“SCOTUS”) to decide whether or not to address state bans on same-sex marriage, we can reflect on how quickly marriage equality has ricocheted across the country since SCOTUS struck down a key section of the Defense of Marriage Act in 2013. We also do well to ask ourselves what these rapid changes imply about our culture.

You Can Be Womanly, Manly, or Both, at Work

The U.S. Department of Labor’s (DOL) announcement last month–about forthcoming guidelines to clarify and enforce full protection of federal non-discrimination laws for transgender individuals–is great news for everyone.

Playing in the Spaces

In Harvey Fierstein’s Tony nominated play, “Casa Valentina”, men embody women. Or rather they reveal themselves through women’s clothing, mannerisms, and identities, showing us the beauty of gender ambiguity.

The Shakesepearean Art of Throwing Back Thursday

A new study suggests that the self reflective characters Shakespeare created may have inspired his audiences to tap into their own subconscious. In sharing our own self reflections, via art and even social media, can we offer one another something similar?

Don't Act, Don't Tell

Homophobia based on seeming gay makes the world a more dangerous place for every person, however one identifies.

Love Bites: Couples Counseling for V Day

This Feb. 14, I recommend sharing something perhaps less arousing but far more sustaining than small bites, sweet bites, and all other bites you're likely to share with your partner: sincere sound bites.

A Clinic Invested In Your Identity

The freedom to perform our lives with fearlessness, versatility, and truth is optimal mental health. Dr. Charles Silverstein's IHI Therapy Center has helped clients to approach their lives in this way since 1973.

Three Ways Marriage Is a Queer Choice

For many of us, the choice of marriage is a highly informed one. Here are three ways that I find nuptials to be a liberating queer choice—for straight and gay couples alike.

The Right to Bare Breasts

It has been legal for women in New York state to be topfree in public since 1992, just as it is for men. Many of us are ignorant of this law, and even more of us police women for exercising this right.

How to Be a Bridesman

Marriage equality is not just for "the gays." Wedding ceremonies and customs are evolving for all couples.

The Many Mothers of Cinderella Boy

What if Cinderella is a four-year old boy named Jake, whose parents desperately want him to get into an elite private school? The new play "A Kid Like Jake" explores the parenting of gender nonconforming children.

She's so Trauma

"Drama queens" make us laugh and evoke our disdain, but if we consider the severity of social pain, we might ask ourselves the question: could “she” be the victim of a social trauma, rather than the perpetrator of an indulgent drama”? And if this is the case, why are we laughing?

Michael Douglas Liberates as Liberace

What makes us so uncomfortable about men expressing themselves in feminine, gentle, or vulnerable ways? Michael Douglas' performance as Liberace may help us to better understand this discomfort, and embolden us to move through it.

American Psycho(analysis)

Acclaimed writer Bret Easton Ellis wants to divide the LGBT communities in two—e.g., “manly dudes” vs. “femmy queens,” “real guys vs.stereotypes,” and “us vs. them.” This leaves no room for vulnerability or variety (either for Easton Ellis or the rest of us). How can we understand this tendency to limit our concepts of identity, and instead, learn to expand them?

Equality Crept Into The Wedding

Regardless of how SCOTUS responds this summer in the DOMA and Proposition 8 cases, marriage equality has already been woven into the fabric of our culture so intricately that no laws -- and no amount of fear or hate -- can unthread its effects.

To Be or To Be 'Well': How Therapy Works

Presuming to know what makes someone mentally and emotionally "well" can be damaging, particularly for those of us in the LGBT communities. We should be asking how therapy helps, not why it helps, or which "kind" is better than another.

It Gets Better, For Whom?

For whom does it get better? For pop stars with fans, and security teams? For famous actors who play "straight"? For football players who are good at lying? What becomes of the rest of us?