Getting Your Defiant Teen to Cooperate With You

The number one issue I witness between defiant teens and their parents, are power struggles. The are two reasons for this;

Limits of Natural and Logical Consequences in Parenting

For a child, the natural rules of the universe and the rules set by his parents present with consequences for any decisions he makes. This is because children need their parents to survive. As a result, parents are the environment that children adapt to.

Why Spanking Impairs Cognition in Children and Adolecents

Spanking is violence, and violence induces trauma. When people experience trauma, especially children, it negatively affects their intellectual abilities. There have been numerous studies that have provided supporting evidence on how trauma deteriorates a person's intellectual abilities.

When Parents Blame Their Children

For example, children and teens with bad tempers usually have at least one parent (in their lives) who has a bad temper.

The Truth About Oppositional Defiant Disorder

In this video, I discuss the DSM V description of Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Taking a Non Aggressive Approach Towards Discipline

Beatings don't work. I remember noticing that there were a group of kids who seemed to get flogged every week, yet they still were into making trouble.

Is Yelling Detrimental to Children?

The researchers of the longitudinal study claim that parents who yell at their children as a form of discipline, risk causing psychological damage to their children. Furthermore, they also claim that the psychological detriments that result from yelling, such as being hyper aggressive or too timid, is similar to the detriments that result from parents hitting their child.

How to Bring Bullying and Harassment to an End.

We should teach our children to see authority as a necessary entity and resource, societies use to establish organization and structure in their cultures, and not as the all seeing and all knowing. Adherence to the latter leads to ineptitude in applying basic problem solving skills in everyday social conflicts.

Three Strategies for Dealing With Your Defiant Teen

It's not uncommon for parents of defiant teens to drop their teens off for a scheduled appointment with a therapist and expect that their parenting styles wouldn't be evaluated. In a family unit where the teen presents with an issue, it's the entire family dynamic that needs to be addressed in addition to the teen with the presenting issues.

Three Rules for Negotiating Child Custody

Often times when I am hired to mediate during a child custody dispute alongside lawyers, I meet with parents who will do their best to convince everyone that they are saints while the other parent is the spawn of satan.

Effective Coping Strategies for ADHD Are Not Cures

Coping with ADHD is not the same as treating it.

How a Mindset of Fear Contributes to Bullying

Trouble makers, wrong doers, jerks, (pick your label) by coincidence exercise more courage than most people.

A Culture of Mercilessness

"My intent is not to make the boys out to be villains, but to draw awareness to the cultural mindset they were raised in. A cultural mindset of merciless hyper competition, which leaves no room for compassion or empathy."

How to Respond to Verbal Bullying

"Assertiveness and compassion is a tough combination to master if you believe that others are supposed to be nice to you, the combination is even next to impossible to master if you further believe that those who are not nice to you should get in trouble. The mentality to master is one of humility."

A Link Between Sexual Promiscuity and Depression in Teens

Given that sex is a pleasurable activity, it also stands to reason that teens who struggle with depression will routinely seek to engage in pleasurable and excitable behaviors to provide temporary relief from their experiences with chronic sadness, hopelessness and perhaps lethargy.

What's Lost in the Gun Debates

Two truths in relation to gun violence: first, we cannot force people to respect the rights of others they dislike simply by making it difficult for them to obtain weapons. Secondly, we cannot use weapons to maintain any level of peace.

What's More Important, Justice Or Resiliency?

People become inspired when they realize that they are not constrained by the actions of others, only by their own choices.

Helping Your Teen Cope With Physical Threats

Our biological desire as social creatures is to belong to groups. When we become upset with insults it is because insults trigger our innate fear (rational or otherwise) of being cast out.

How To Use Verbal Judo

The truth is physical aggression can be predicted and avoided if we learn to listen to our natural ability to detect the cues.

Putting an End to Bullying Without Bullying

October is national bullying prevention month, and I hope this post will convince some people that the current popular approach to dealing with bullying in schools is another form of bullying.

Is it Normal for Teenagers to Lack Empathy?

The prefrontal cortex is last to develop because it allows the average person to focus on self mastery before becoming fully conscientious about the welfare of their respective communities.

Does Marijuana Use Decrease IQ?

A recent study of a thousand people in New Zealand conducted over a period of twenty years claims that when people use marijuana for a period of time prior to their eighteenth birthday, they experience a permanent and significant drop in their IQ.

Does Plastic Surgery Stop Bullying?

"The standards of living are the same for us all, for richer or poorer. In order for each and everyone of us to successfully tackle life’s challenges, we all have to come from a place of genuine unconditional self acceptance and love."

A Link Between Relatedness and Academic Achievement

What if the key to a student's success wasn't just dependent on his or her teachers' attitude but his or her attitude towards teachers?

How to Respond to Your Defiant Teen

If in three years we expect this 15-year-old to be mature enough to go of to college or get a job and reside on her own, what sense does beating her make?

What if the Mother Featured on the TIME Cover Looked More Maternally Ubiquitous?

I see parents during family therapy blush about the idea of talking to their sons and daughters about sex, even though their child is just a click away from a porn site on the smart phone, or tablet the parent purchased.

What Does Trayvon Martin's Death Teach Our Children About Conflicts?

"I work with teenagers in my practice, who are sometimes hostile and I never bring a gun to work."

How to Respond to Insults from your Teen

"A common mistake most parents make is trying to fix their son or daughter's bad mood."

Why Are Teens So Angry?

"Feelings of inadequacy resulting from living in a consumerist society is the number one reason why teens today are angrier than generations past. (This is simply my opinion.)"

Sex, Your Child and Mobile Gadgets

"Needless to say the mind of a child is in no way shape or form mature to process any sexual information, particularly images. Children who consistently see these images, begin emulating what they see."

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