When You and Your Child Are Stuck in a Bad Pattern

But children (and adults!) naturally rebel against force, so you can't actually control anyone except yourself. That's why change needs to start with us.

How to Have a Fantastic Evening With Your Child

If you think your child gets plenty of attention and she's still acting out, consider that maybe what she needs is a different kind of attention: help with her emotions.

How to Handle Your Anger at Your Child

We all enter the parenting relationship wounded in some way from our childhoods, and our kids surface all those wounds.

How to Avoid Shaming Your Child

If these interactions are repeated throughout childhood, the shame can become toxic; the beginning of a fear of being defective that can shadow us through life.

How Children Develop Toxic Shame

If we aren't aware of our own tendencies to shame, we won't notice when they get triggered. We'll just act them out onto our children, passing shame down to the next generation.

3 Tools to Dissolve Sibling Jealousy

Since all "misbehavior" is driven by upset feelings or unmet needs, the real work here is helping the child resolve feelings that are triggering his aggression.

Setting Limits When Your Child Ignores You

Your child is ignoring your limit because he needs help with the big feelings or unmet needs that are driving his behavior.

My Name Is Laura and I'm a (Recovering) Perfectionist

Many of us go through our entire lives feeling inferior because we never felt quite "good enough" as children.

What Did You Learn Before You Were Eight?

If you're like most of us, you learned some things before you were eight that no child should learn and carry for the rest of his or her life as motivating beliefs.

What Part of No Doesn't Your Child Understand?

So why do kids fight so hard against our limits? Because those big feelings of disappointment are hard to face. They'd rather keep fighting with us than face the music.

Why Kids Blame and Lash Out—and How to Help Them

Our blaming others when we’re upset isn’t so different from our child blaming her brother when she’s upset. Hopefully, we’re able to bite our tongue so we don’t go on the attack.

Your 12-Step Program to Become a Recovering Perfectionist

Guess what? You aren't perfect. You never will be. But don't worry, the goal is not perfection. The goal is expanding your heart and creating more love in the world.

10 Ways to Love the One You're With

The kids who thrive are the ones who FEEL loved, accepted and cherished for exactly who they are.

How Can You Stay Cool When Your Kid Acts Up?

In the heat of the moment, we're in fight, flight or freeze. And when we're in "fight", our child looks like the enemy.

It's a Good Thing You're Not Perfect!

Your child knows he's not perfect, so your imperfection gives him hope that he might actually be okay, just the way he is.

12 Tips to Transition to Peaceful Parenting

Acting out is not a personal challenge to you. When your child "acts out" she is acting out feelings that she can't express in words.

5 Things We Know for Sure About Raising Great Kids

Research has been following children from babyhood to adulthood for decades, so we actually know what works to raise great kids. Here are the five most important things.

Angry? Don't Lose It. Use It!

What to do when when your child's behavior sends you into your own temper tantrum.

When Your Child's Anger Triggers You

When tempers are fraying at your house, who has the power to calm the storm? You. But you can't do that if you're in a state of emergency. Unfortunately, many of us forget that parenting is rarely an emergency. When our child gets defiant, we feel an urgent need to take action. So we rush in, sirens blaring, and instead of a minor squall, we create a tsunami.

Why Kids Sometimes Hit After They Feel Close

After some nice snuggling or giggling, your child may begin to cry or even lash out. That doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. It means your child wants to accept the love you’re offering, and needs your help to let go of those upset feelings that are in his way, before he can connect with you.

14 Tips for Parenting in Public

Kids don't always behave as we'd like when we're out and about. And when children are at family gatherings, they're often off their schedules and especially excited, so their behavior can be particularly challenging. Here's how to help your child become the kind of person who understands what behavior is appropriate, and who wants to behave that way!

8 Steps to Help Your Child Develop Self Control

The brain is like a muscle -- it strengthens throughout life, depending on how it's used. Parents who are emotionally responsive, set empathic limits, model emotional regulation, and encourage children to pursue their passions will raise self-disciplined kids.

Does It Matter If Your Child Has Self Control?

A child who can regulate his emotions can control his behavior so he's more likely to get what he wants out of life. So the question is, regardless of your child's innate ability, how can you raise a child who can manage her emotions, anxiety and impulses so that she can manage her behavior to accomplish her goals?

Your 10-Step Plan to Stop Yelling

When we're angry at our children, most of us burst out with comments we would never say if we were calm. Later, we're remorseful. We apologize. But kids react to our yelling by putting another brick in the wall between us, and dismantling that wall isn't easy. Wouldn't it be amazing to simply stop yelling, even when you're angry? It's completely possible.

How to Stay Calm? The Same Way You Get to Carnegie Hall

Regulating our own emotions is the hardest part of parenting. The good news is, every time you resist acting on your anger and instead restore yourself to calm, it gets easier. In fact, neurologists say you're actually rewiring your brain to be calmer and more loving.

12 ways to raise a competent, confident child with grit

It has become a commonplace idea that failure is good for kids, and builds resilience. But when children fail over and over and don't have the support to keep trying, all they learn is that they're failures. Resilience comes not from failing, but from the experience of learning that you can pick yourself up, try again, and succeed.

Nine Ways to Transform "Bad" Behavior

There is no such thing as a brat, only a child who is hurting. When our starting point as parents is a close bond with our children, we are their North Star, the point around which they orient. They want more than anything in the world to protect that relationship and meet our expectations, as long as that doesn't compromise their own integrity.

10 Secrets Every Parent Needs to Know About Saying No

How can I say "no" if I don't resort to threats? This is, of course, the million dollar question. All parents wish their children would just comply when we ask them to do something. Luckily, it is indeed possible to help children want to cooperate, without resorting to yelling, threats or harshness. Read on to learn how.

Why Do You Have to Tell Them Five Times?

It's a good question: Why don't kids just do what we say the first time we say it?! And there's a good answer. Several, in fact. The good news is that following the practices in this article consistently not only raises a self-disciplined child, it raises a child who knows you'll follow through, so he doesn't need to be asked five times to do something.

How to Give Your Child a Rich Life

We all want to raise kids who know how to work hard to create what they want in the world. Nobody wants to raise a child who thinks the world owes him, who feels like he’s entitled to take whatever he wants. We also DO want to raise a child who feels deserving of the blessings of abundance. How do we raise a child we feels deserving - but not "entitled"?

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