10 Secrets Every Parent Needs to Know about Saying No

How can I say "no" if I don't resort to threats? This is, of course, the million dollar question. All parents wish their children would just comply when we ask them to do something. Luckily, it is indeed possible to help children WANT to cooperate, without resorting to yelling, threats or harshness. Read on to learn how.

Why Do You Have to Tell Them Five Times?

It's a good question: Why don't kids just do what we say the first time we say it?! And there's a good answer. Several, in fact. The good news is that following the practices in this article consistently not only raises a self-disciplined child, it raises a child who knows you'll follow through, so he doesn't need to be asked five times to do something.

How to Give Your Child a Rich Life

We all want to raise kids who know how to work hard to create what they want in the world. Nobody wants to raise a child who thinks the world owes him, who feels like he’s entitled to take whatever he wants. We also DO want to raise a child who feels deserving of the blessings of abundance. How do we raise a child we feels deserving - but not "entitled"?

How To Love Unconditionally When You're Angry

Loving unconditionally when you're furious isn't easy. In fact, it's such heavy lifting of the heart that it builds real love muscle. But nothing changes your child's behavior quite as quickly.

Why Kids Hit Siblings and How to Help Them Stop

Any child who repeatedly hits is pushing feelings down inside, but that means he's pushing away his good feelings, too. He disconnects from us. His cup is empty, but filling it is tough because he can't take in our love. So we have to build trust, safety and connection, and then we have to help him with his tangled up feelings.

When Your Four Year Old Hits Your Two Year Old: a Script

Rewards and punishment don't usually stop the hitting, because they don't help kids with the underlying feelings, or teach them a better way to solve the problem that caused the hitting. When things do go wrong, we want them to find a way to repair the damage they've done to their relationship.

How to Give Unconditional Love to Your Child and to Yourself

Parenting is really, truly, the hardest thing any of us will ever do, because it requires us to grow. So we all need to give ourselves support if we want to parent well. Instead of berating yourself when you make a mistake, resolve to learn from it.

Want to Stop Being Upset? Change your Mind.

Once you start paying attention to your thinking, you'll be amazed at how many of the thoughts that show up in your mind about your child are negative and how many of your conclusions aren't even true. You can completely sidestep many upsetting emotions just by noticing the thoughts that are creating your emotions.

Five Strategies to Tame Your Inner Critic

You can’t get rid of your inner critic. It's just part of the human mind. But you can greatly reduce its fear level, and get it serving, rather than running, you. Here's a 5 Step Process to Tame Your Inner Critic.

Don't Believe Everything You Think

Every human mind generates fear much of the time, unless we "retrain" the mind. Without conscious management on our parts, fear can permeate our thoughts -- and poison our relationships with our children. That’s why fear has to be consciously confronted. Here is how.

Spring Cleaning for Your Psyche

"Dr. Laura....When I stop and take a breath, I am amazed at the amount of negative thoughts in my head—typically criticizing my ability as a mom, or a wife, or an employee, or a daughter or a friend. It’s so hard to feel like I’m doing anything well at all. How do we get out of the negative thought patterns?" -- Amy

21 Ways to Get Closer to Your Child Today

Research shows that we need at least five positive interactions to each negative interaction to maintain a healthy, happy relationship that can weather the normal conflicts and upsets of daily life. This is true for our relationships with our children as well.

Don't Worry. Be Happy.

Do you worry about your child? Join the club. It's part of the job description. But when we say "Be careful!" to our child, we're not giving the message that we care, even though that's what we feel. We're giving the message that the world is an unsafe place and we don't have confidence in our child to navigate it.

3 Steps to Stay Calm When Your Child Isn't

If we "lose it" when our child gets upset, we give her the message that her feelings aren't permitted.

5 Things To Do When You Feel Your Temper Rising

The most effective thing you can do is restore yourself to calm before you act.

5 Strategies That Prevent Most Misbehavior

So what can you do when your child acts out, whether he's a toddler or a teen?

When Kids Simply Won't Cooperate

What to do when all that fails and the child still refuses to cooperate.

10 Alternatives to "Consequences"

Next time your child refuses your guidance and you find yourself about to blurt out a threat, try one of these responses instead.

Healthy Partner Conflict Resolution When You Live With Kids

It's important for kids to know that we don't always agree, but we always love each other.

Do You Fight in Front of Your Kids?

Conflict is part of every human relationship. If we live with children, those conflicts will sometimes come up in front of the kids.

Setting Limits Without Using Threats to Enforce Them

"I'm struggling with how to enforce limits without a consequence. For example, brushing teeth — she'll refuse. It's not reasonable for me to do it by force, so I tell her if she can't brush her teeth, I can't read a bedtime story to her. I do not understand how to set limits if there are no consequences."

10 Things To Do Instead of Grounding Your Kid

Grounding your child, removing privileges, punishing with extra chores -- all of these approaches are meant to "teach a lesson." But research shows that kids get preoccupied with the unfairness of the punishment, instead of feeling remorse for what they did wrong

What to Say Instead of Punishing to Teach a Lesson

Kids will always need our guidance. They come into the world ready to learn, and they look to us to teach them.

How to Raise a Moral, Responsible Child - Without Punishment

How do you raise a child who assumes responsibility for her actions, including making amends and avoiding a repeat, whether the authority figure is present or not?

Why Punishment Doesn't Teach Your Child Accountability

The most effective way to teach kids is to treat them the way we want them to treat others: with compassion and understanding.

Could You Dare NOT To Discipline?

There is no such thing as "loving discipline" because the child will never experience punishment as loving.

10 Ways To Guide Children Without Punishment

Children learn what they live. The most effective way to teach kids is to treat them the way we want them to treat others.

How To Be The Parent Your Child Always Wanted

What one thing could you do today to support yourself to be the parent you want to be?

You CAN Stop Yelling. Here's your 10 step plan

The truth is that yelling scares kids. It makes them harden their hearts to us.

Rewire Your Brain for Love

Healing our ability to love unconditionally requires daily practice.