Emotional (Phantom Limb) Pain

The illusion is he was normal, in love with you, was what he said he was, did what he said he did. In pathology, that’s never the case, because they are mentally disordered.

Real Love, Not Just Real Attraction

If you think back to what your “attraction basis” is, you may find some patterns there as well.

Fantasy and Its Effect on Your Reality

Pathology is the inability to change and sustain change, grow in any meaningful way, and the inability to for him to see how his behavior negatively affects others.

Happiness -VS- Joy Part II

Our happiness is largely conditional based on if things go the way we think they should go and if people act the way we think they should act.

Joy -VS- Happiness

Happiness is what you feel when he says the 'right romantic' stuff, buys you a ring or moves in. But happiness is not joy because joy is not external,

Triggers and Knee Jerk Reactions During the Holidays

The holidays are stressful under the best of situations. Add to it a dangerous and pathological relationships and you can have a prescription for **guaranteed** unhappiness.

Fantasy And It’s Effect On Your Reality

Women often stay in pathological relationships because they feel panic or fear of abandonment when the pathological tries to end the relationship.

Relationship Relapse During the Holidays

People relapse and go back into relationships more between Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day than any other time of the year.

Telling Yourself the Truth

Recovery is a life change. It's not a quick fix to get out of pain like Ativan or Xanax.

Dissociation Isn't a Life Skill

We separate out of our memory things that we don't want to or can't deal with.

Is It Fear or Is It Anxiety? Part 2

Anxiety causes you to worry about the situation but you aren't likely to bolt.

Is it Fear or Anxiety?

Worry and anxiety that result from PTSD are distracting female victims from real fear signals that could help them.

Not All Abusers Are Created Equal

Just as not all victims are the same, not all perpetrators of harm are the same either.

Recovering Without Validation

Sometimes no one believes he was pathological, a monster, did the things we said he did.

Trait Examination OR Character Assassination?

Since the 1970's and the women's movement, discussing the specifics about women’s choices in relationships, patterns of selection, personality traits, mental health, sexual addiction/deviancy has been largely discouraged and ‘semanti-sized’ as 'labeling the victim' or 'victim blaming.'

Recovery Without Justice

Victim's rights and its connection to judicial and psychological justice will not get played out often in pathological relationships.

Am I Under His Spell? Part III

Trance, mind control and hypnotic suggestion also are based on one's own level of 'suggestibility'.

Am I Under His Spell Part II

Mind control. Brainwashing. Coercion. These are all used by a perpetrator to reduce your effectiveness and overtake you emotionally.

Am I Under His Spell?

Pathological love relationships are exhausting and take their toll on your body through stress, diet, loss of sleep, and worry.

Living the Gentle Life Part 6

Change your environment physically and learn how to develop a life style that helps you heal emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and sexually.

Living the Gentle Life Part V

These disorders respond best to a 'gentle life' that allows the body, mind, and spirit to rest from the overload of adrenaline and stress it has experienced in the pathological relationship.

Living The Gentle Life Part 4

Getting lost in a very dark tunnel can draw people away from the actions, behaviors, thoughts, people, and resources that previously allowed them to live a happier and more balanced life.

Living The Gentle Life, Part 3

Creating your gentle physical environment will also help you emotionally. An environment that is soothing, calm, quiet, soft, and comfortable has the best chance of allowing an over-stimulated body to relax.

Living The Gentle Life: Part 2

PTSD 'triggers' can include people, places, things, or sensory feelings that reconnect you with the trauma of the relationship.

The Cracked Vessel

Many women emerge from pathological love relationships either diagnosed, or not yet diagnosed, with PTSD—an anxiety disorder so extreme that the core concept of self is often fragmented.

I Got This

The focus of this series of articles has been your Super Traits.The Super Traits are your temperament and character traits that are powerful components of who you are which carry positive and negative consequences. The power that you have over these traits comes in the form of awareness.

What We Believe About Pathology and Relational Health

"Some of the most disturbing realities are not that pathology exists, but that so little public pathology education for the general public exists."