It is important to distinguish between rude, mean, and bullying so that teachers, school administrators, police, youth workers, parents, and kids all know what to pay attention to and when to intervene.
Adults often struggle with the question of, "Should I intervene in a child's friendship problems?" We waver between wanting to protect young people from the pain of broken friendships and believing that bullying is an inevitable rite of passage. The bottom line is this; no child should have to find her way through painful conflict all alone.
True helping does not necessitate rushing in to solve all of a young person’s troubles single-handedly, but rather implies a process in which an adult guides a young person to solve problems independently and with dignity. What follows are five steps to guide parents and professionals in responding well when a young person reports an incident of bullying.
Middle school is a time of enormous transition for tweens. When parents give their kids new freedoms and privileges in stages, they exercise sound judgment and avoid overwhelming their children with too much, too soon. But there's a flaw in the iPod-before-cell phone logic.
Do you work with a student who consistently performs at a level that is beneath his ability? Is there a child in your classroom who habitually procrastinates, predictably “forgets,” and inevitably dawdles the whole day long? Are you acquainted with a young person who harbors hostile feelings toward you or a classmate, but never expresses this anger in words?
For many school-aged kids, the ability to make new friends comes as naturally as breathing. For others, however, connecting with peers is a source of stress each and every day. Kids who struggle socially benefit from adult guidance in developing the skills they need to reach out to their peers and establish friendships.
Children may listen to your words, but more importantly, they learn from observing your actions. When you have a chance to practice a random act of compassion, do so! Remember: opportunities to show compassion do not occur by appointment. Show young people that anytime is the right time to engage in acts of service and compassion for others.
One of the most common reactions people have when I talk about my work in addressing passive aggressive behavior is an impassioned, “Passive aggression is so frustrating! I can’t stand passive aggressive people!” followed up by a quick and more sheepish, “Wait, what exactly is passive aggression again?”
I was instantly moved to tears at her son's painful experiences, shocked at the bland responses of too many adults who failed him, grateful for the nurturing care that finally came his way in school, and amazed by the strength of his mother who was a warrior on his behalf.
The teachers who are most effective in stopping bullying are the ones who work purposefully and systematically to create classroom cultures in which kindness is valued over coolness and popularity among students is based not on the power to dominate social interactions but rather on a young person’s willingness to reach out to a classmate with compassion.
This article provides an abbreviated version of an LSCI “Reality Rub” interview, through which a school counselor is able to help a student re-organize her recollection of a troubling situation in order to broaden her perspective and build a new level of trust with her teacher.
In the short term, passive aggressive behaviors can be more convenient than confrontation and generally require less skill than assertiveness. They allow a person to exact revenge from behind the safety of plausible excuses and to sit on the sofa all weekend long rather than complete a list of undesirable chores. So, what’s not to love?
While many parents consider themselves digital immigrants in their child's native cyber-lands, even a tech-novice can help a young person navigate their way safely through the choppy waters of online aggression. What follows are 10 guidelines that parents can offer to the young people they care about for effectively dealing with cyberbullying.
Bottom line: Some moments kids can use their logical brains and other moments they can’t—especially during periods of stress. Having an awareness of this helps adults make better choices when it comes to responding to the angry outbursts of young people.
Passive aggressive behavior is a deliberate but masked way of expressing angry feelings. From procrastination at home to sabotage in the workplace and hidden revenge among "friends," passive aggression can be expressed in many different ways, with the common goal of getting back at another person without having to confront or communicate directly.
It’s worth taking extra time to acknowledge that stopping bullying is not as easy as it sounds on a tip sheet. For kids, who are often in the very best position to stop the bullying that occurs in their midst, the barriers to intervention are very real and quite formidable.
Adults often struggle with effectively communicating their angry feelings. For children, this challenge is doubly difficult; kids don’t want to get in trouble for expressing themselves aggressively, but they often lack the skills for communicating assertively.
For those who are targeted by cruel peers, it can seem as if there is no escape from cruel teasing, taunting, and texting. In this world of constant contact, children need to know how to communicate effectively.
The Passive Aggressive Conflict Cycle describes and predicts the endless, repetitive cycles of conflict that occur when a passive aggressive individual succeeds in getting someone else to act out their anger for them.
Adults and kids alike often go to great lengths to mask inner pain with defensive words and behaviors. Parents, teachers, caregivers and friends who recognize verbal façades are best able to support a child’s true feelings.
Passive Aggressive Diaries focuses on the ways in which readers encounter (and exude!) passive aggressive behavior in daily life. Here, you'll also find strategies for understanding and ending bullying, and well as ideas for managing conflict and crisis among young people. Please visit www.signewhitson.com for more information.