You are the only constant in your life. I've told this to myself many times but it still is something that's difficult to comprehend and/or accept. I've often joked to my friends that I would not want to be in a relationship with myself. The reason is that I would probably annoy myself. I seek out people who are different from me because they help me to grow as a person. 

I'm not saying I don't like myself; I do, but there are days when I irritate or frustrate myself and I believe that's normal. As people, we have problematic behaviors that many of us are working on changing in therapy. Going to therapy isn't just for individuals. When two people are having problems in their relationship, they might use therapy for couples to work their issues out. Not everyone believes in going to relationship counseling though. If you can work out your problems without using a professional to mediate them that's great. 

I see therapy is a place to work on me. I enjoy it because sometimes (as much as I try) I can't think my way out of a situation. It helps to have an objective person guide me toward problem-solving. When I'm talking in therapy I learn more about my behavioral patterns and how to change them. As I hear myself talk, it reinforces that I wouldn't want to date me. I want to be with someone who has a whole set of different issues to work on because mine are too familiar and overwhelming. If I dated someone exactly like me, I would most likely become frustrated with that person. This frustration would be similar to when I annoy myself with my own idiosyncrasies. 

Even though I wouldn't date me, I still like me

I've worked on myself in therapy for years and I will continue to do so. We are ever-evolving as human beings. I believe that the person who is right for me will appreciate me; flaws and all. The same is true for you. As you're reading this, think about a flaw that you have a hard time accepting in yourself. Try not to beat yourself up about it, but just acknowledge it as something you're working on changing. I'm sure that there is someone out there who understands this flaw and can be empathetic towards you when they see it come out. 

I'm in a solid relationship with myself and have been for the past three decades and change. I've learned that I am not perfect; no one is. We're doing the best that we can. One of the best things we can do is continually work on being a more compassionate person toward ourselves and others. Though my flaws might irritate me, they aren't tragic or insurmountable. The same goes for how you view other people, specifically your partner. Everyone has something they need to work on. It's a matter of how great your self-awareness is as to whether or not you actively try to better yourself.  

Unsplash 2017
Source: Unsplash 2017

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