Giving up summer with our children is not easy and never will be. The absence of a demanding schedule, the more relaxed routines, the sense that not everything has to be about preparing for a successful future, the delight of a last-minute adventure, vacation family time, yummy summer eats—it’s a long, sweet list. While the return of a schedule for which you are not responsible and a little less chaos overall can make us welcome the start of the school year, we can’t guarantee a smooth transition. A common temptation is to start grilling our offspring about school readiness stuff in a vain, but well-meaning, attempt to anticipate trouble and cut it off at the root. Examples of some things a four-year-old might say to some seemingly innocent inquiries from mom or dad include “I wasn’t worried about my new class until you asked me if I was” or “I don’t know if I want to see my friends from last year” or “Maybe they won’t like me.” Here are four questions you may want to reconsider asking.