Attachment

Lamar Odom

The Tragedy of Trauma

Posted October 14, 2015

Source: Wikipedia

In attachment theory, an individual finds his sense of security in the relational bonds formed in early childhood and later adulthood that helps form a template of the world. If secure, dependable and consistent attachment needs are met, the world is seen as a place that can be trusted. However if traumatic attachment ruptures occur often enough, then an individual may have extreme difficulty which manifests itself in depression, addictions, and relational issues.

Former NBA basketball star Lamar Odom’s life is a case study in trauma, tragedy, and attachment ruptures. In the most recent incident, it was Odom himself who was found unconscious in a Las Vegas area brothel Tuesday after allegedly using cocaine and organic viagra. He is currently (as of Oct. 15th) in a coma and fighting for his life at Sunrise Hospital in Las Vegas. His condition remains unknown but what is apparent is Odom’s life has been repeatedly marked by the specter of death and disruption.

“Death always seems to be around me”, Odom shared in a 2011 L.A. Times article. If not death then most certainly disruption in the form of attachment ruptures. His father was a heroin addict and absent from his life. In a 2013 tweet, Odom ranted against his father. “He wasn’t there 2 (sic) raise me. He was absent ALL of my life due to his own demons. …He is my downfall! His own demons may be the ONLY thing he gave 2 me.”

His mother raised him but she died of colon cancer when Odom was 12 years old. His maternal grandmother reared him from that point on but she also died in 2004. In 2006, his nearly 7 month old son died of sudden infant death syndrome.

In 2009, Odom married married reality television star Khloé Kardashian. During this marriage, Odom’s feelings of attachment security were palpable when sharing the discrepancy between the love of the Kardashians from the lack of love from his biological father. “He (Odom’s father) disrespecting the ONLY FAMILY that has loved me without expecting anything in return. They are the ONLY ones that have been here consistently 4 (sic) me during this dark time.”

In 2011, his cousin was murdered in New York. While attending the funeral that summer, Odom was a passenger in an SUV that collided with an out-of-control motorcycle. The motorcycle veered out of control and hit and killed a 15 year old pedestrian. Odom saw it all unfold before his very eyes and confided, “I think the effects of seeing [my cousin] die and then watching this kid die, it beat me down.”

By 2013, amid rumors of drug abuse, Kardashian filed for divorce and whatever attachments were formed in this marriage once again were ruptured.

Most recently, in June 2014, Odom experienced another loss, the passing of his close friend Jamie Sangouthai, who died from a bacterial skin infection caused by chronic intravenous drug use.

And throughout his life there were the deaths of other aunts, cousins, and friends which Odom described all of them being, “taken away from me”.

In life, we all need a felt sense of attachment security in our primary relationships. Without it, we can wither or start to rely on addictions to help us cope. In worst case scenarios, we may lose all hope and spiral towards depression and suicidality. This unfortunately, may be the case with Lamar Odom.