I Was On Ashley Madison

You are on the Ashley Madison list and the pit of your stomach is churning. You may experience shortness of breath, dizziness, or loss of concentration. Your double life is over and exposed (at least to those who have the list) now you're wonder if you should double-down and continue to lie or face significant consequences for sharing the truth. But where do you start?

Sex Addiction

Is a sex-crazed person a sex addict? Is it someone who enjoys sex with his/her partner? Due to the confusion of sex addiction even among therapists, it's important to understand the qualitative difference that sets a sex addict apart from others.

Food, Water, Shelter

Food, water, and shelter are considered the essentials for survival in the wilderness. But some Asians believe this same mentality can work in raising children (i.e. give their children food, provisions like clothes and a college fund) will suffice. To even consider the child's emotional world is viewed as an anathema to their Asian culture and tradition of stoicism...

It's her fault

If your spouse stops doing something sexually, what are you to do? Can you blame her for holding back? Can you use it as an excuse to act out sexually?

Wilderness Therapy

Why getting outdoors may be the best medicine for your psychological health. It can not only free you from your daily world of connection but also test you psychologically as you push yourself in your various pursuits.

Why I Ran a Marathon

People run marathons for a number of reasons: to get in shape, to raise awareness for a cause, to remember a loved one. I ran a marathon to "find" myself. Athletic endeavors are more than just physical pursuits. They can be a means to reflect parts of your soul that yearn to be tested and seen. I just had no idea what I would find by doing so myself.

Mira Hu

The recent story of an Asian teenager running away after her parents dropped her off to take her SAT test should cause Asian parents to pause and ask themselves if they are contributing to unreal academic expectations for their children. Beyond the high-pressure stakes of college entrance exams, AP classes, lies the stifling cultural theme of Asian honor and shame.

5 Asian Love Languages

The way traditional Asian parents express love to their children in America is often "lost in translation". Consequently mental health issues of low self-esteem, addictions, feeling unloved, and other relational challenges arise out of the complexity of being caught in a cultural crossroad.

BDSM, Tummy-Tucks, and Sex Toys

How can plastic surgery, sex toys, or new sexual positions be a part of sexual trauma? While spouses of sex addicts will acknowledge the common trauma related to feelings of betrayal, loss of trust, and hyper-sensitivity to their husbands/boyfriends possibly "acting out" again, there are those who can't acknowledge how this trauma can impact decision-making in other areas

Baltimore Riots

In the wake of the recent violent Baltimore protests, many people removed from the situation will see this once again as another issue between African-Americans and the White establishment (judicial and law enforcement). But lost amidst this devastation is the impact on many Asian-American immigrant families caught in the crosshairs of racism and economic frustrations.

K-Rage

Is Korean anger a myth, stereotype, or a psychological coping mechanism through generations of repeated attempts to obliterate a nation and culture? When looked at from a historical and cultural lens, the anger or culture-bound symptoms known as haan or hwa-byung begins to resonate with today's Korean culture.

Asian Parenting

Asian parents are often very attuned to taking care of their children's physical needs (i.e. food, shelter, finances for education) yet the emotional support can be lacking. Here's what parents can do to be more attuned to their children's overall health.

Starbucks "Race Together Campaign"

What happens when Starbucks unveils a campaign to encourage conversations about race and culture? A Starbucks executive didn't receive the memo and makes his own racist comments to a Chinese-American at a Seattle store.

Uber Upset Cop Meets South Asian Uber Driver

An undercover New York Police detective yells profanities at an Uber driver of South Asian descent. The video is damning evidence of racial undertones yet the officer dismisses any notion of racism. This is the reason racism exists, the lack of acknowledgment when it occurs no matter how subtle the form.

Asian Dating

Are you dating an Asian or dating a different Asian ethnicity? If so, there may be cultural landmines to navigate as you go against cultural norms and expectations from your family, culture, and/or ethnicity.

Talking About Sex Addiction

Questions such as "Do you believe in sex addiction?" or "Is porn/masturbation ok?" are simplistic questions to challenging clinical issues. Instead, these questions need to be reframed from another vantage point.

Celibacy Period

When couples are struggling with a partner's sex addiction, taking sex off the table may be difficult for some spouses who fear the addict will go back to his/her old ways. Therapeutically clinicians in this field will ask for a 90 day celibacy period. This may seem surprising but this is critical in the early stages of recovery for both the addict and the partner.

Listening to Your Vocational Voice

When is it time to follow your true self? How do you know if your calling awaits you? What are you to do when you're at a career crossroads in life? Learning to listen to your vocational voice is difficult amidst the din of daily life, but if you want to thrive then you'll find ways to discern your calling.

Slanted Eyes

A Haiku about the Asian-American experience.

Why I Stopped Psychological “Interpretations” with Clients

With the advent of neuroscience on brain development, science is focusing on the nonverbal and unconscious emotional world underlying clients within a therapeutic context. As a result, there is a rich world that awaits therapists willing to plumb the depths of not only their client's affective world but their own as well.

Dollars & Sense

Are you a therapist struggling with the business aspect of therapy? Is your conscience making you compromise on setting healthy boundaries pertaining to fees, late cancellations, and sliding scale clients to name a few? Whether you're aware of this or not, if you don't reconcile your issues related to money, it can impact your effectiveness as a therapist to clients.

Adopted: Beyond the Glamour of Asian-Adoptions

Of the 1.5 million adopted children in the United States, international adoptees are the fastest growing segment, of which most are Asian girls. While many of their stories are heartwarming and reflect our image of American compassion and generosity, the realities are much more complex. I

PhotoTherapy

In an age where "selfies" are taken anywhere and posted everywhere on the internet, do the pictures really mean anything? Is it pure narcissism or is there a deeper meaning to the pictures you or I take, especially the ones we keep and cherish? In the field of PhotoTherapy the answer is unequivocally yes, as those pictures could hold clues to your true self.

Art as Therapy

Poetry, photography, and other forms of creative expressions should be encouraged within the therapeutic realm. If nothing else, we should at least be open to the myriad ways in which people find healing.

Asian Christian Female Sex Addict

Many people scoff at sex addiction citing it as men justifying their amoral sexual behaviors. But what happens when it's a woman struggling with compulsive masturbation and pornography? Is it viewed differently? How do you work with women who come from shame-based cultures or experiences? Learn more in this case study of an Asian Christian female sex addict.

Police Racism or Celebrity Entitlement

Is it racism when police detain African-American actress Daniele Watts or is this a case of celebrity entitlement? Listen to the audio and decide for yourself.

Adrian Peterson & Ignorance

There's a public outcry with the NFL case of domestic violence involving Race Rice but with NFL's Adrian Peterson's child abuse case, the public reaction is mixed. Peterson's punishment of his child with a tree branch some would say is justified. It's no different from many of my cultural clients but it dismisses the potential psychological damage incurred on kids.

"Genie, You're Free"

What's the role of the media when it comes to suicide coverage of a celebrity like Robin Williams? Is the media glamorizing and sending mixed messages about suicide to the public? And does a suicidal person like Williams have any "choice" in their actions?

Woe Is Me

Prior to 1997, the FDA did not allow for explicit commercials of pharmaceutical drugs on your television set. Just a year after, the budget for drug advertising tripled to $1.2 billion in 1998. It quadrupled during the following decade topping off at over $5 billion and has since leveled off around $4 billion annually.

Asian Gambling Addiction

There are a number of cultural factors that influence gambling among Asians here in the U.S. When we trace the roots back to Asia, you can see Asian cultures view gambling much more as a social activity than mainstream American society.

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