Did Brittany Make the Right Choice?

Twenty-nine-year-old Brittany Maynard made national news when she told the world “death with dignity” was her best option and then went through with her decision. In the process, she became a fresh face in the ongoing debate about freedom of choice for terminally-ill patients. She has given us the opportunity for a bigger, ongoing conversation about the best way to face a terminal diagnosis.

All of us need to consider what would happen if a doctor were to say, “There is nothing more we can do for you. You're going to die. And you are going to be in devastating pain until you do.”

If you or someone you love ever hears those words, there are two things I hope you remember.

The first is that no one should take their doctor's words as an oracle. Medical professionals are important and knowledgeable people, but they aren't gods. Modern medical science has come a long way, but it's not perfect.

When I was in my early 30s, my father was diagnosed with lung cancer and given six months to live. He was also advised by his doctors that the process of dying was going to be horribly painful. As it turned out, he felt absolutely no pain, not even on the day of his death, when he simply went to sleep for the last time.

Brittany Maynard had a similar experience with a doctor’s diagnosis. Even though she was told by one medical professional she probably didn't “have weeks left to be on her feet,” she was climbing 10-mile trails in the ice fields of Alaska a few months after that terrible prognosis. Getting second opinions and listening to your body are important.

The second thing to consider is the reasoning behind the decision to take your own life. Is it to avoid pain? And if so, is that always the best goal?

We live in a culture where suffering is treated as something to be avoided at all costs. Our all-too-common addictions -- from too much food to too much alcohol and too many legal (or illegal) painkillers -- stem from a desire to avoid pain. Brittany chose to opt out of possibly more suffering than she already gone through.

Even though Brittany's brain tumor would most likely kill her (although no one can ever be sure), who is to say that the act of taking her own life was as courageous as going through the suffering of a natural death would have been? As a spiritual teacher, I have certain beliefs about karma that make me think she might have been better off experiencing all that life had to offer her. As a soul without a physical body, it's much harder to grow spiritually. Choosing to end her natural life prematurely may have cost her a precious opportunity.

Our natural death, despite the pain and hardship that may be involved, can provide us with a chance to balance out certain karmic debts. While the body suffers, the soul can benefit from increased humility and wisdom and a deeper level of love and compassion.

I have worked with many people as they faced death. Healing, which is different from curing, can take place on many levels during this process. There is the chance for forgiveness of self and others, as well as the possibility of transformation. My mother, who was cold and distant during my childhood, has become warm and loving as she nears the end of her life.

In our society we believe in something elusive we call “quality of life,” which leads us to the idea that an end to suffering trumps possible expansion of consciousness. On the other hand, hospice workers know how to balance suffering and quality of life. They focus on pain management and letting patients die with some amount of comfort and dignity, usually in their homes, surrounded by their loved ones. Their palliative care respects both the psychological and spiritual aspects involved in dying, and as a result many patients in their care live longer than expected.

If I had been working with Brittany, I would have tried to help her to get beyond the fear that may have motivated her decision. Despite her grim prognosis, neither she nor we know what her ending would have been like.

When I was a young woman studying energy medicine, I had the chance to work with a girl like Brittany, with the same kind of brain tumor. She was just 22 years old with two toddlers at home. One day, in the middle of a session with her, I heard my internal voice say: This woman will die soon; your job is to help her have a peaceful death. It wasn't a cure, or even an easy way out, but it may have been something that meant even more to her spiritually.

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I hope we'll use the opportunity Brittany gave us by going public with her decision to give thought to what the real courageous act might have been.