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Gay Parents: Socially Unacceptable?

The backlash against same-sex couples as parents.

The photograph of Elton John and his partner, David Furnish, with their newborn baby boy quickly made its way around the major media outlets over the past couple weeks. Us Weekly was among the first to obtain and publish pictures of the happy family. But almost as quickly as the popular magazine hit the newsstands, controversy erupted. Management of a grocery store in Arkansas decided that the image gracing the cover of Us Weekly was disturbing and inappropriate for public viewing. So, they decided to cover the magazine with a shield that stated, "Family Shield. To protect young Harps shoppers."

Someone who had not previously seen the un-shielded version of the Us Weekly magazine would have expected to find a lewd and possibly naked photo of Elton John and David Furnish hiding behind the "Family Shield." And, why wouldn't someone expect to find a lewd picture of the couple hiding behind the "Family Shield," given that these types of shields are typically used to protect shoppers from pornography. But, lo and behold, behind the picture was not a lewd or inappropriate image, but simply an image of happy parents holding their baby (and all fully dressed of course!). This is an image we have come to expect to grace the covers of magazines in supermarket checkout lines; famous couples with their newborn children. However, apparently the image of two men holding their newborn baby is not an image that all people are accustomed to seeing. So, does this make the decision of the store to hide the image correct?

My resounding answer is absolutely not. Some might argue that an image of two men holding their baby is something that would be hard to explain to a young child. However, this still does not justify the decision to deem an image of a same-sex couple and their newborn child as inappropriate. Although the decision to cover up the image of this happy family was deliberate, the result was a microaggressive act towards lesbians, gays, bisexuals and everyone else who is not heterosexual. Hiding the image of a same-sex couple and their child, while openly displaying images of heterosexual couples and their children sends the message that same-sex couples are deviant. It also sends the message that same-sex couples are inappropriate for raising children. This type of microaggression perpetuates the idea of heteronormativity, or that being heterosexual is the only socially acceptable way of living. This negates the experience of non-heterosexuals and sends a strong message that their lives are invalid and should be hidden from society.

Some might argue that this was only an isolated incident and minimal damage was done because the store's management eventually decided to remove the "family shield." However, this is only one example of the countless microaggressions that lesbians, gays, and bisexuals experience on a daily basis. These individuals live in a society where heteronormative cultural values and behaviors shape and define the overall cultural landscape. Examples of microaggressions that result from heteronormative cultural values permeating society include:
1. The overall acceptance and use of heterosexist language, such as in defining marital status on an application or through the use of derogatory terms and expressions (e.g., "that's so gay").
2. The disapproval of the lived experience of lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals, such as when same-sex couples are given disapproving looks when they hold hands in public.
3. The countless stereotypes about sexual minorities that denies the individual diversity that exists among lesbian, gay, and bisexual people, such as assuming that all lesbians act a certain way or all bisexuals are hypersexual.

These are merely a few examples of the many ways in which sexual minorities are devalued, invalidated, and insulted in their daily lives in our society. What we can do as a society to lessen the burden of these sexual orientation microaggressions is to take responsibility of instances when we perpetuate heteronormative cultural values and behaviors. Additionally, part of being a responsible citizen is to confront instances of injustice, such as when the responsible citizen who decided that covering up the image of Elton John and David Furnish holding their newborn baby was an injustice. This responsible citizen took action and used social media to bring attention to this act of injustice. We can all learn from this socially responsible act.

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About the Author
David Rivera Ph.D.

David P. Rivera, Ph.D., is an assistant professor of psychology at William Paterson University.

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