After breakup, anger often takes the shape of self-blame and self-disgust: you’re “not good enough” – you’re “ugly,” “stupid,” “fat,” “old,” “useless, "undeserving." It’s a long way out of that hole you're digging yourself into.
If only you had picked him up at the airport that day; if only you didn't complain about your job so much. Why didn't you go on that camping trip? Why didn’t you tell her you loved her more often? If only you were a different person who did different things in a different way!
The most important message in this post is not necessarily about Robin Williams; it is that you are valued when you feel valueless. You are loved when you feel unloved or unlovable; and if we had the opportunity, each of us would have tried to show Robin Williams this love and value.
The only voice Robin Williams could hear, above all of those that love him, was his own telling him louder and stronger than anyone else’s that he is worthless, that he doesn’t deserve, that he can't be here anymore.
Psychotherapy is a very unusual conversation designed to free and enhance your ability to love and work, clarify how you feel about yourself and others. This blog combines my clinical experience as a psychologist with recent research to offer insights about real and lasting relationship change that starts with understanding yourself first.