Garner, Affleck, Marital Therapy, and Divorce

The tabloids exploded with curiosity and innuendo of terrible trouble once Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner were discovered going to a marital therapist. Now with a pending divorce, people’s worst fears are confirmed. Apparently if your spouse suggests therapy, it is a last ditch effort or a way to tell you it’s over. So teaches Hollywood. But is it?

Games to Cure Common Sex Problems

Too fast or too slow (or not at all!) Premature ejaculation for men and anorgasmia (no orgasm) for women are the two most common sexual problems that plague a couple’s sexual experience. Anxiety is the root cause of both problems. Solve these problems easily with two fun psychologically-oriented sex games.

Resolution for a Better Sex Life in 1 Weekend, 3 Commitments

How many times have you wished for a better sex life? Resolve with these concrete suggestions to make in happen in the new year! Prioritize your intimate life, fine-tune what works and expand your sexual repertoire. Here’s your step-by-step instructions to recommit to and re”vamp” the bedroom!

Sexlessness - the Anti-Magi Gift

He sold his pocket watch to buy her combs for her hair; she sold her hair to buy a chain for his pocket watch. The lovers discerned their partner’s secret desire and gave up their own most precious possession to secure the other’s happiness. Sexlessness is the opposite dynamic; each spouse figures out what the other most needs and withholds it.

How to Solve the ONLY Sex Fight

It may seem like we fight over different sexual issues–frequency, quality, involvement, variety, morning or evening time–but it all boils down to one central struggle.

7 Reasons She's Not in Orgasmic Heaven

Orgasm is the sexual carrot. It’s the big bang in our tiny universe. Feeling desire is exquisite but pining without satisfaction for the long run is frustrating. Without it, a woman will stop becoming easily aroused. Her desire will extinguish. No big bang means sex is no big deal. Here are 7 reasons she doesn't come:

The 4 Hidden Reasons Some Men Don't Want Sex

Beautiful, fit, desirable, and desiring women make sex therapy appointments to complain about husbands who don't want sex. Why? Here are four reasons and resolutions.

Fantasies—Dirty or Spicy?

Patients often tell me their wild sexual fantasies... sometimes before they become wild sexual escapades. Thinking about illicit, taboo acts can be super-erotic. It's almost the juxtaposition of the erotic against it's shadow, the good against the bad, that makes it come alive and feel enlivening to us.

Love, Hate, and Bat-sh*t Crazy in Marriage

I love and hate my husband. Shocked? There are things about him which I can't tolerate and end up having to just ignore. And I don't mean just that he doesn't pick up his socks (which he doesn't.) I know he feels the same way. For many years, he's called those parts he hates - the alien. One morning he woke, he says, looked across the bed and saw her - the alien.

5 How-To Tips for Changing Your Sex Life

But how does the daddy sperm meet the mommy egg, Mommy?" asked my sweet 4 year-old. My clients ask, "But HOW do I change my sex life?" People feel so frustrated when their requests fail to spur their partner to action. They've nagged, asked, been nice, been mad, demanded, yelled, cried, and gone silent.

What would Pink Viagra Do For You?

Have you ever said to your gynecologist, “Don’t you have a pill to make me feel horny again?” Women are like Porsches with broken starters. We have amazing sexual capacity, enjoy sex once we get started, have high octane orgasms, but sexual urgency is often missing once we’re married or in long-term relationship. Big Pharma help is on its way with Pink Viagra.

What's My Problem? How You Can Change Your Sex Life

Sexual problems are maintained between 2 people. High/low, kinky/vanilla, softer/harder, erotic/dull desire – whatever the differences… people can’t resolve sexual issues because of the speck/log problem. We can see what our partner is doing wrong. The question we need to ask is, “What am I doing (or not doing) that gets in the way of a satisfying sex life?”

The Ultimate Sex Game

Sexual frequency differences are a stubborn problem in couples pledged to monogamy. Fun and games are the opposite of the serious deadlock when you’ve been fighting over something so intimate with someone so unfeeling. But game theory can help solve the problem. Play this game…

6 Musts for a Perfect Valentine’s Day

You think Valentine’s Day is a commercial opportunity designed by vendors? Think again, if your spouse doesn’t agree. If you miss the world-is-observing-love-for-a-whole-day without marking the love in your relationship, regardless or your sentiments, you will be saying, “I don’t care enough about us to put in a modicum of effort.” For the unbeliever...

I Feel Too Fat for Sex

Compare the number of women you know with a healthy acceptance of their imperfect body to the number you know who are scathingly critical of every flaw. Women often have a concrete equation in their heads – sexy does as sexy is. Whether objectively attractive, a partner’s good opinion notwithstanding, a poor female body image slams libido shut.

5 Ways to Change the Sheets on the Same Bed

Resolutions to change your sex life instead of changing your partner!

The Twelve Nights of Christmas

Traditionally, Christmas begins on the 25th of December not the day after Thanksgiving. To help make our season bright in the bedroom, I offer 12 thematic ideas as sexy advice.

Sleeping with the Ghost of Christmas Past

The holidays crystallize for us those critical moments when we didn’t get what we wanted or needed from our past relationships and families of origin. Frank and Amanda had gone from having sex once every three months to twice a week. He expressed his doubt about the change, “Even though we are having sex more, it still seems like she doesn’t really want it or me."

I Never Want to Have Sex Again

The most frequent phone call to my office begins with these 7 dismaying words. Even young women say this. Hot women say this. In fact about 40 million women feel this. They all can’t be too busy for sex. Have you told your husband this? Has your wife told you this? Here’s how to analyze what’s going on.

A Lower Libido Woman's Six Secrets

She doesn’t want it as much as you and she can’t explain why. Dread – maybe she has low libido. Or maybe because men and women experience the rhythm of their body’s desire-arousal-orgasm cycle as an absolute truth, there is simply misunderstanding. Here’s a video explaining some gender differences to help keep sex in synch!

Should We See a Sex Therapist?

Fears about sex therapy: the sex therapist will suggest a threesome to spice up our sex life, I’ll have to reveal all my past sexual escapades to my spouse, I’ll be shamed for how little I know about sex, the sex therapist will be some New Age-Barbara Streisand-in-the Fockers-flowy-flowery, weirdo.

Five Sex Tips for Women About Men

Our husbands don’t just want sex; they want us to want them. It’s ever so slightly different but there’s almost a spiritual difference. Wanting confirms our love and reveals our vulnerability to our primitive bond with each other. For many men, sex IS love, sex IS connection.

Does Parenthood = Sex Three Times a Year?

Jake called into a morning drive radio talk show where I’m a sexpert and reported that there had been no sex in his marriage during his wife’s the last trimester. Since their little darling was born, sex had only happened three times – hurriedly and perfunctorily. Another caller, Angie reported that after their baby was born, her husband had totally lost his sex drive...

Five Sex Tips for Men About Women

I asked my husband what men would like to hear about. He responded that men wanted to know the bra trick. And probably know how to get her into bed and make her want to do it again—they wanted someone with a manual to share the important secrets. Here are Five tips to help.

She's Only Doing It 'Cause I Asked Her To

Changing sexual patterns is tough. Accepting change is tougher. We want to know two things about our partner’s about-face: Is it from their heart? Will it last?

Talking with College Kids about Hooking Up

Do you imagine your college son or daughter hooking up with a potential life partner like you did in college? Well, “hooking up” these days has a brand new meaning. The kids call it “hit it and quit it.

Why I'm Not Into You

I was invited to speak on low sexual desire at a women’s gathering. After listening to the participants’ conversation, I piped up and said I thought I might be in the wrong place. They all sounded full of desire if not bawdy with sexual innuendo. “Yeah, we’re horny!” they replied, “Just not for our husbands.”

Ryan Lochte, His Mom, and Us

The world is askance that Ryan Lochte's mother would knowingly reference her adult son's intimate life.

His/Her Tasks to Insure Fireworks in the Bedroom on the 4th!

How fantasy and seduction create exciting sex. 8 tasks for her and 6 tasks for him to make sure the 4th of July is filled with fireworks in the bedroom!!

Sexuality of Hope or Despair in Marriage

We marry with a commitment that sex will continue to make our union alive and complete. With sacred vows we commit onto sexual fidelity—an alive sexual relationship solely with our chosen partner. Over and over again, we make love and grow in secure attachment.

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