You can nurture a happier life by learning to attend better to the happiness that you already experience—no matter how small that experience is. By mindfully attending to your senses when they bring you joy, you are essentially choosing to walk through a door into a place of pleasure and appreciation.
Many people remain in unsatisfying relationships or repeat problematic patterns over and over again. Their struggle is rooted in how they connect. Learn your inner models of how you perceive yourself and others and begin the journey to a happier love life.
Life is busy. Really busy. So, multi-tasking seems like an inevitability. If you couldn’t multi-task, you’d be in trouble. Yet, multi-tasking can become your taskmaster, making you sick and unhappy. Fortunately, there is a way out of this bind.
Imagine your ideal self – not the specific accomplishments you’d like to achieve, but the person you’d like to be. With the proper perspective in thinking about yourself and others, you can be that person. Of course, it also takes practice.
It can be easy to get caught and stay stuck in negative thinking. These negative thoughts and feelings can be part of a self-perpetuating cycle. You can break free by learning to pay attention to positive emotions.
The initial blush of excitement that comes with a great idea can fade quickly when you realize the magnitude of what you want to do. Rather than give up, learn to alternate between a short and long view to stay motivated and succeed in attaining your goal.
Now is the time when people tend to reflect upon the past year and make promises to themselves for how they will be different in the coming one. While such New Year’s resolutions might improve your future, learning to appreciate your current life is even more important.
If you are unhappy with any or all aspects of yourself, you can become more of the person you want to be. The secret to getting on the right path is to begin with understanding yourself and your struggles better.
When life hurts, you can be angry with your circumstance. You can be angry with yourself. But ignoring, denying, or railing against the problem will not resolve it. And aggravating over it will only cause you more suffering. There is another way—and it’s better.
Like it or not, the emotional pain you feel is there. However, you have a choice about how to cope with it. Learn how opening up to the “burn” it creates can help to light your way to a greater sense of well-being.
There are innumerable ways to make personal changes, so it can be difficult to know where to start. However, increasing your self-awareness is the one first step that all approaches take. Learn more about how to do this, and how it can help motivate you to be persistent in creating personal change.
You want to be different, but don’t know how to stop reacting as you do. Victor Frankl reflected wisely upon just this kind of situation by saying, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
People are often confused about why they get in their own way on the path to success. If pushing yourself harder isn’t working and you don’t know how else to help yourself, it’s time to stop trying to force change. It’s time to identify the problem and work directly with it.
So many emotions occupy all of us each and every day that being fully aware of them can be a challenge – and certainly not always pleasant. However, emotional self-awareness also offers great benefits. It is essential in helping you to feel alive, understand and empathize with others, and make effective decisions in your daily life.
Nobody gets through life without falling at least sometimes. So, it’s important to be able to handle those setbacks well. By being self-accepting and having compassion for your struggles, you can remain calm during difficult times and be resilient when you fall.
To succeed in life, it's not enough to set a path to your personal goals. You must also know how to negotiate this path, including avoiding pitfalls and obstacles. This requires that you develop self-awareness so that you can attend to, and consciously choose, every step you make.
Because emotions come straight from the heart, rejecting them is rejecting a part of you. Running away from them means running away from you. This is a flight without end because you can’t escape yourself. Instead, learn to face and accept your emotions to find peace within yourself, harmony in your relationships, and be engaged and productive at work.
Do you have trouble with feeling repeatedly discouraged or depressed? It can feel like being in the bottom of a pit that you can’t climb out of. Then, somehow, you do get out… but only to find yourself there again; and again. It’s a pattern that gets old fast. Fortunately, there is a solution – and it’s in you.
If trying to boost your mood leaves you unhappy – or you just keep sinking back into unhappiness – it’s not working. Don’t give up, but do consider an alternative approach. To feel happy, sometimes you first need to embrace being upset.
If you often question yourself and your abilities – personally, professionally, or in other areas in life – then you are holding yourself back from happiness and success. Learn to identify how you do this; and how to build your confidence.
You know you have attained genuine success when you have achieved your goals and enjoy life. If what you do in your career or other aspects of life leave you feeling empty or uncomfortable with yourself, then it's time to make a change.
Dr. Becker-Phelps, a licensed psychologist, is dedicated to helping people understand what they need to do to become emotionally and psychologically healthy. She accomplishes this through her work as a therapist, speaker, and writer. She is an engaging speaker who has inspired audiences in large and intimate settings. She is the author of Insecure in Love (available, 2014). In addition to her blog for PT, she is a regular writer for the WebMD Relationships blog and is the relationships expert on WebMD’s Relationships and Coping Community.