As we begin this year, I am making way for my own personal change in 2014 – the publication of my first book, Insecure in Love (available, May 2014). In light of this, I’ve been thinking about the writing I’ve done in this blog, Making Change, since I began it in July 2009. And as part of this reflection, I’ve identified my 5 most popular blog posts to date– along with my plans for the coming year.

I list the top 5 blog posts for you below, starting with number 5:

5. The Power of Positive Thinking; Put in Perspective

There are times when thinking happy thoughts can help to make you happier, but there are also times when it can make you more upset. So, it is essential to know when to apply the power of positive thinking.

4. How to Stop the Self-Criticism and Feel Better About You

Learn how to combine compassionate self-awareness with cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) strategies to reduce self-criticism and improve self-confidence and self-esteem.

3. How High Self-Esteem Can Get Us Down

While high self-esteem can help you feel good about yourself, it can paradoxically lead to you being hyper-critical of yourself. So, it is important to understand it and be careful about how you pursue it.

2. How to Feel Good or at least Stop Feeling Bad

We would all be like the population of Garrison Keillor’s Lake Wobegon – “where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average.” Instead, we are imperfect and always a work in progress. But this can be an exciting adventure as long as you continue to move in the direction of growth.

1. Learning Your Attachment Style Can Light Up Your Life

Have you ever walked through your home when it’s pitch black and stumbled over something? Most likely, you would have stepped over that shoe or walked around that box if the lights were on. But they weren’t. The same thing happens for us psychologically. And one of the invisible obstacles is our style of relating to others.

It is interesting that my most popular blog post addressed attachment styles because it is the focus of my new book, Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It. In it, I explain attachment theory in an easily accessible way so that you can gain a better understanding of your struggles in romantic relationships. I also explain how you can improve your relationships through compassionate self-awareness, a combination of self-awareness and self-compassion.

While you will definitely hear more from me in 2014 about various topics in my book, I would also like to address other topics of interest to you. So, please feel free to comment on what you would like to see me address in the coming year.

I thank you all for reading my blogs and wish you a very happy and healthy new year.

Leslie Becker-Phelps, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice and is on the medical staff at Somerset Medical Center in Somerville, NJ. She also writes a blog for WebMD (The Art of Relationships) and is the relationship expert on WebMD’s Relationships and Coping Community.

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Making Change blog posts are for general educational purposes only. They may or may not be relevant for your particular situation; and they should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional assistance.

Personal change through compassionate self-awareness

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