When Is Sex Spiritual?

Everywhere I go these days people are struggling with questions about the right use of their erotic energy and how this energy can express in ways that are at once personally satisfying, supporting sustainable relating, and serving spiritual evolution.

Why Sex is Sacred?

Indigenous people view all of creation as inherently sacred because it's part of the interconnected web of ecology that sustains life. Sacred is a kind of awareness, not a function of the logical mind, but a direct awareness of patterns running through everything around us. Interesting, then that tantric lovemaking turns on that part of the brain that perceives patterns.

5 Myths About Men's Sexuality

When socialization and cultural expectations are stripped away, men and women may want more of the same things in bed than we ever imagined possible.

Why Sex and Spirit Belong Together

One of the unfortunate side effects of the hijacked sexual revolution of the 1970s is that women have been shamed, ridiculed and aggressively persuaded that their desire to link love and sex is unliberated, old-fashioned, and inconvenient.

Why We Need Orgasms

Sex brings us face to face with our deepest emotions and desires. It’s an opportunity to push our physical, emotional, and energetic reset buttons, much as sleep and dreams allow us reset our mental activity. Unlike sleep, a deep sexual release requires us to stay fully present.

Why Do Women Fake Orgasm?

Women of all ages are feeling more empowered to discover who they are sexually. They are less afraid that saying “yes” means they’ll no longer be able to say “no.”

Welcome to the Sisterhood of Crones

At the same time elder women's sexuality can be deeper, freer, more authentic and multi-dimensional than ever and her capacity for intimacy and love is generally much greater than in her youth.

Polyamory, Sex Roles, and the Gender Trap

In coaching people on how to get beyond the dysfunctional gender programming which is destroying their relationships, I find that questioning the model of two genders can be a good start.

Couple Privilege and the Ecology of Intimate Relationships

Modern Western culture has idolized romantic love within a life long monogamous, heterosexual marriage for many generations. Even though this form of relationship is more mythical than real, and even though our legal systems are beginning to reflect variations on this theme, the template of the couple continues to endure.

The Truth about Polyamory

Women, as well as men, are entirely capable of having secret affairs and shirking their share of domestic responsibilities, and perhaps we will even see more of this as more men adopt the role of “house husband,” and more women out earn their husbands. The bottom line is that everyone wants to be treated with respect and to have their needs honored.

A Message in a Bottle

More love, more sex, more pleasure may in fact be what’s needed for marriage to survive and the evolution of patriarchal culture to continue. And pleasure alone cannot substitute for consciousness, more sex does not automatically result in more awareness, and propping up the status quo is not what I had in mind at all.

Five Ways Polyamory Can Fail

Happy polyamorous relationships exist, but polyamory is definitely not a recipe for guaranteed happiness any more than monogamy is. Here are a few useful pointers to speed up your learning curve.

Celebrating Our Erotic Capital

Men are getting a higher return on their erotic capital than women because men have no compunctions about fully utilizing what they’ve got while women allow shame and embarrassment to interfere with fully reaping the benefits of this valuable resource. This is even more so for older women.

What Ever Happened to the Sexual Revolution?

My take is that the Sexual Revolution has gone awry but its downfall stems from a lack of moral, ethical, and ecological grounding, and also from not going far enough to alter our way of life.

Polyamory: Married and Dating

Showtime's new reality series, Polyamory: Married and Dating is a far better portrayal of polyamory than I feared and not as good as I had hoped, judging from the first episode, which aired July 12.

Inner Marriage

Are you paying lip service to the disconcerting truth that in order to find lasting happiness with a partner, you must first create a harmonious relationship with the Beloved within? For generations, spiritual inclinations have been misguidedly channeled into a quest for romantic love and sexual thrills. Trouble is, this kind of happiness has a short shelf life.

Group Marriage and the Future of the Family

With the traditional nuclear family well on its way to extinction, we are faced with a question of critical importance: who will mind the children?

What Is Love, and What Isn't?

Love is inherently free. It cannot be bought, sold, or traded.

Polyamory without Tears

Early on, I realized that in order to really understand what jealousy is, how it operates, and to what end, I would have to examine my own inner process. If you too want to understand jealousy, I invite you to do the same. The next time the opportunity arises, instead of pushing it away, welcome the chance to investigate the nature of jealousy.

Why Open Marriages Sometimes Work

I am the first to admit that polyamorous relationships have their fair share of dysfunction, but there are also many healthy and happy open marriages.

Beyond Polyamory

Polyamory can bring you face to face with exactly what you don't want to see. Whether or not this is a good thing depends upon your purpose in choosing it.

Shameless: A Review of an Ordinary Woman's Sexual Memoir

How one woman satisfied her sexual desires without having a secret affair, getting divorced, or opening up her marriage.

Polyamory and Sex Addiction

It's easy to justify sexual obsession by calling it polyamory. A handful of sex addicts can wreak havoc in a community, especially when people are still operating out of conditioning that forbids the sharing of "family secrets" out of misguided respect for confidentiality.

Polyamory and Children

Most of the young adults I know who were raised in child-centered polyamorous families end up giving a higher priority to bonding and sustained intimacy than to freedom when forced to choose.

The Upside of Polyamory

XXIs polyamory just another word for promiscuity, or does it have social, moral, and ecological value?

The Downside of Polyamory

While polyamory sometimes has advantages over enforced monogamy, polyamory can present numerous problems of its own. In the interest of full disclosure to those who rightly suspect that polyamory can exact a price from those who practice it, I offer the following survey of potential difficulties.

Sex, Polyamory, and the Wisdom of the Body

What is the biological and emotional truth about polyamory?

Why Do People Choose Polyamory?

Just as there are many different forms a polyamorous relationship can take, there are many different reasons people choose polyamory. We’re not always conscious of the reasons we do things, and sometimes we even make up reasons which have little to do with our real motivations. I’m not saying that we intentionally lie to ourselves, or to others. Rather, we find ourselves doing something and then make up a story to explain it. So it's not surprising that people are sometimes in dark about why they're choosing polyamory.

The New Monogamy

The new monogamy recognizes that commitment and fidelity may be more fluid than we once thought. The key to making it work is honesty in making implicit assumptions about what marriage means explicit and working out any differences together.

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