Is She or Isn’t She? Who is Single at Heart and Why Does It Matter?

In the 21st century, when more than 100 million Americans are single, a fully grown and thoughtful adult can ask, in all seriousness, whether it is “normal” to have positive feelings about living single.

Single-at-Heart Readers, Take a Look at This!

A reader in a serious romantic relationship with “an amazing, wonderful man” writes to a Love Letters columnist. She’s worried because sometimes she thinks she’d rather not be in a romantic relationship at all. Offer your advice here!

Does Matrimania Really Matter? The Case of Women and Their Disinterest in Science

Guess what undermines women’s interest in science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM)? It is something pervasive and sometimes subtle, and it doesn’t seem to affect men one bit.

Singles, Let’s Multiply Our Influence and Expand Our Reach

Let’s get serious about living single. We need a definitive all-in-one singles web presence that is continuously updated. Help me conceptualize and create this new resource.

Singlism as a Political Dog-Whistle?

Someone’s idea of a politically effective message: “Ferlita is an unmarried woman with a suspect commitment to family values.”

Do Your Parents Dream About Your Wedding Day? The Highbrow Media Dreams Small, Too

The first time I ever gave a talk about singles to a big audience, a man came up to me afterwards and told me that he has a happily single sister, but his mother still prays every night that she will find a husband.

Celebrating Senior Singlehood: Guest Post by Tricia Hoffman

Guest blogger Tricia Hoffman had been married for a long time when she decided to try out single life for a while. Here’s why she never turned back.

Why Coupling Is Not On My Bucket List: Guest Post by Elliott Lewis

Elliott Lewis is “not one of those people for whom relationships just happen.” He explains: “I am not half-a-person searching for my other half to become whole. I’m whole already.”

“Marriage Vow:” Born into Slavery? At Least You Had Two Parents [Updated]

The pledge not to raise taxes is not the only one that candidates are being asked to sign. Some Presidential candidates have already vowed to declare the superiority of married people and their children over singles.

Is the eHarmony Guy Really Discouraging Marriage?

A popular piece at the Huffington Post by the eHarmony Founder is titled, “On second thought, don’t get married?” He is a world-class matrimaniac. Does he really mean this?

Looks Can Kill – Your Better Judgment

Skillful lie-detectors should not be fooled by a person’s looks. They should be able to see beyond a person’s characteristic angelic or devilish look to discern when each person really is lying and whey they are really telling the truth.

Presumptuousness: The Scourge of Those Who Dare to Live Life Their Own Way?

Presumptuousness can blight the experiences of single people, of adults with no children, and of anyone who chooses to live life in a way that is not socially expected way.

Reunited Love – and I Don’t Mean the Romantic Kind!

Should we meet again with an old friend and rediscover what we used to love about each other, we can pick up where we left off, with little angst.

Is This the Myth About Singles That Single People Are Most Likely to Believe?

I’ve always thought that the most intractable myth about single people is that what they want, more than anything else, is to become unsingle. Now I have a new hypothesis.

Can You Name the Singles-Bashing Game that has Endured Since the 17th Century?

Naming the long-lasting singles-bashing game is easy. Understanding how and why it changed over time is more challenging.

Sabbaticals for Singles?

An employment lawyer makes the case that if parents are offered maternity/paternity leave, then singles with no children should be able to take a leave to pursue goals meaningful to them.

If You Watch ‘Lie to Me,’ Will You Become More Successful at Detecting Lies?

The TV show ‘Lie to Me’ was inspired by an actual scientist and supposedly by actual scientific findings. So do viewers do better at spotting lies?

The Pain of Singlism: Is It Personal?

A journalist who is writing about the new Singlism book asked me a question that should have had an obvious answer: What’s the worst kind of singlism?

Embracing Single Life: Guest Post by Elliott Lewis

A lifelong single man spends nine months in therapy and discovers that it is perfectly fine to be single. Here is his story.

Keeping Marriage Alive with Affairs, Asexuality, Polyamory, and Living Apart

What can couples do to enliven a melancholy marriage? Author Pamela Haag offers some bold suggestions. I think what she is actually describing is a wonderful version of single life.

Melancholy Marriage: Are We in a Post-Romantic Era?

A book published today claims that we are in a post-romantic era of workhorse wives, royal children, and undersexed spouses

‘New’ Findings on Married Households Dropping to Minority Status: Singlism Book More Accurate than NY Times

Media stories describe a ‘new’ trend – married couple households are in the minority. The journalists are a half-decade late, and totally clueless about the truly new implications about what matters in our lives.

Is Marriage a Special Kind of Social Support?

Here’s a study in which researchers asked the unmarried participants about their social and emotional support, rather than just assuming that they would have less support than married people.

New Ways to Make Married People Seem Better Than They Are

An analysis of a fabulous dataset on marital status and happiness still manages to produce a misleading conclusion.

Friends and Lovers: Is There a “Knew It All Along” Effect?

Friends and lovers often believe that they can read each other especially accurately because of their closeness and all of the time they spend together. But with closeness comes special motivations to see friends and partners in particular ways. So we can be especially insightful or particularly clueless about the people we care about the most.

Is This Singlism or a Smart Business Practice?

My local Cinema Society charges $425 for a single membership and $650 for a couple membership. That’s $100 more per person for the single person than the couple. Is that singlism or a smart business practice?

All Together Now – So Many Perspectives on Singlism

The widespread stereotyping and discrimination against people who are single has long gone unrecognized, unnamed, and unchallenged. With the publication of “Singlism: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Stop It, by Bella DePaulo and 28 other contributors, singlism is finally getting its comeuppance.

Can You Be Your Own Source of Comfort and Security? A Bold Question About Attachment

If you talk to lifelong single people in depth about how they deal with stress and worry, what will they tell you? What can attachment researchers learn from them?

Identity and the Separated Person: How Does Maria Shriver See Herself Now?

Separation can be painful but it can also be an opportunity to reassess your identity and your life. I wonder what Maria Shriver will do, introspectively, with the time she spends in separation limbo.

Savvy Auntie: Some Thoughts on Marginalized Roles and Styles of Writing

A new book about savvy aunties got me thinking about marginalized roles – and about styles of writing that are most effective and most authentic.

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