Drifting into Singleness: Guest Post by Kay Trimberger

In this guest post, author and singles scholar E. Kay Trimberger reflects on her reading of the Atlantic story, “All the single ladies,” and describes how single life has been different for her than it is for the current generation.

A Personal History of a Passion for Single Life and Singles Advocacy

Here’s the short version of how I ended up so devoted to creating positive change for people who are single.

Revenge of the Single Ladies!

On the cover of the November 2011 issue of the Atlantic is the question, “What, me marry?” and Kate Bolick’s story is titled, "All the single ladies." It has already been featured in two segments of the Today show.

What You Miss by Doing What Everyone Else Does

Following the conventional life path can be comfortable, but are you missing out on creating the life that works best for you?

Not Monitored, Not Judged – One of the True Joys of Living Solo?

I don’t think I do anything all that embarrassing when I’m home alone. Yet I like the fact that no one else is around to monitor or judge me. Is that unusual?

Accused of Doing Something Awful? Here’s How to Convince Others of Your Innocence

If you are accused of something seriously bad and you want to persuade others of your innocence, is it best to flat out deny the accusation?

Collected Wisdom About Single Life: Your Thoughts

Among the contributions to the wisdom collected here: experiences of internalized singlism, living single at different ages, reactions to people who ask about why you are single, and more.

The Best of Single Life: Lessons from More than a Decade of Study and a Lifetime of Experience

“Best of single life” lists too often focus on the small stuff. Here are some of the more profound experiences and rewards of single life.

“So Sorry You’re Still Married”: New Anniversary Card Greeting?

Can you imagine a Mother’s Day card or media story that just assumed that anyone who is a mother must be depressed about it? That’s what some Singles Week stories are like.

New York Times on Contributions of Singles – the Perfect Singles Week Celebration!

The New York Times just posted a wonderful article by Tara Parker-Pope, “In a married world, singles struggle for attention.” No myths or singles-bashing here!

She’s Single, 42, Professional, and Unhappy: Wish-Fulfillment for Matrimaniacs, and Bogus, Too!

The latest survey about the supposedly miserable single professional women wasn’t good science -- it wasn’t science at all – but it was very good at generating singles-bashing headlines!

Top 12 Living Single Posts Since Last Year’s National Singles Week

As “Unmarried and Single Americans Week” begins, I share the most popular posts here at Living Single since Singles Week last year, and invite you to contribute your insights to a “collective wisdom” post for later this week.

Sex Partner Privilege: Similar to White Privilege, Male Privilege, and Heterosexual Privilege?

Male privilege, white privilege, heterosexual privilege, heteronormative, Singlism, discrimination, stereotyping, Singled Out, tax breaks, economic advantages of married people, marital status discrimination, consciousness-raising, National Singles Week, guest invitations, adult development textbooks, silencing singles, stigmatizing singles

Airport Screening Post-9/11: What Happens Before You Even Get to Any of the Machines

Did you know that sometimes, as you are standing in line at airport security, before you even get to any of the machines, you are already being monitored?

Does Tom Brokaw Think that Only Married Adults Experienced Grievous Losses on 9/11?

People who became widowed on 9/11 suffered grievous losses. But what about everyone else? They were mostly invisible to Tom Brokaw. What about the other 9/11 specials?

Ditched by Friend Who Got Married: Can You Relate?

A reader shared a story I have heard all too often. She had a deep and enduring friendship with another single person. But when that person married, she ditched the reader. Why do you think this happens? How should we make sense of it?

Who Lies?

Can you predict who lies more? Introverts or extraverts? Men or women? Older or younger people? Other personality types?

Getting Rejected or Excluded: Can It Make You Smarter?

Getting rejected, excluded, ostracized, or discriminated against can be so very painful. However, not all of the consequences of these awful experiences are bad.

Multiplying Our Influence, Expanding Our Reach: Update on New Singles Site

This is a continuation of our discussion of a possible website for single people with attitude. I’ve summarized suggestions readers have offered for what such a site should include. Next step: Prioritizing.

Why Are Wedding Stories Privileged, Even During Disasters?

Why do reporters look for stories of postponed weddings to illustrate the emotional costs of natural disasters?

Getting Called “Mrs.” How Do You Feel and How Should You Respond?

An assumption that some people make about women is evident in the first word that comes out of their mouths. The word in question is “Mrs.” How do you respond when someone who does not know you addresses you as “Mrs.”? It is a question that is relevant to women of all marital statuses.

Reports of New Census Data on Marriage: Can You Predict the Opening Lines?

In an article on the serious topic of how marriage rates are at an all-time low, and how the ages at which people first marry are continuing to rise, the reporter begins with a cutesy note to single people telling them where to find the wedding bells.

Only Sex Partners Are Allowed: Why Is This the Criterion for Bringing a Guest?

Is it OK to tell a single guest that she can bring a boyfriend you’ve never met but not her mother whom you’ve known for years? Or should singles not be allowed to bring anyone, since that would cost money?

Who Is Your Family If You Are Single with No Kids? Part 2

There is an implied question behind the question: “Single, no children: Who is your family?” That lurking query is, do you even have a family? The answer is yes.

Watch Out, Singles! Once Again, You Are Doomed to an Early Grave by Cheater Technique

Researchers love to discuss the supposed joys of self-selecting into marriage. Astonishingly, many of those same social scientists don’t realize that there is also selection out of marriage (divorce, widowhood), and that selection out could potentially be even more important than selection in.

Who Would Say These Things? Who Would PRINT Them?

A mainstream media publication makes one astonishing claim after another

Chores Without Borders: Who Helps People in Other Households?

Singles are more likely than adults of other marital statuses to provide help to friends, neighbors, and coworkers, including transportation, errands, and shopping; housework, yard work, repairs, or other work around the house; and advice, encouragement, or moral or emotional support.

Divvying Up the Tasks and Chores: Is It Linked to a Longer Life?

People who have always been single have always had to figure out how to get everything done. Why shouldn’t that add to their resilience and longevity?

Single with Ailing Parents: Who Cares?

When a parent is seriously ill or in need of sustained care for any reason, who steps in to provide that care? How do the care-providers manage the other commitments in their lives, including the need to make a living?

Is She or Isn’t She? Who is Single at Heart and Why Does It Matter?

In the 21st century, when more than 100 million Americans are single, a fully grown and thoughtful adult can ask, in all seriousness, whether it is “normal” to have positive feelings about living single.

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