The New Life Option that Would Have Shocked Me in My 20s

Increasingly, we can live as we like, have sex with whomever we like – or not at all – and avoid much of the stigma of the past. What I never anticipated is a direction that today’s young adults are heading.

Marriage Fraud

In the law, marriage fraud includes faking a marriage in order to get benefits such as health insurance or immigration status or tax breaks. Maybe the real fraud is that you need to be married at all (“legitimately” or otherwise) in order to qualify for some fundamental human dignities.

Single at Heart: The Missing Pieces

Sex and stigma and children and aging and oh so much more. People who answered the single-at-heart survey suggested additional questions on these topics and others.

What Does It Mean to Be Single at Heart?

Here’s how people who are single-at-heart differ from those who are not in matters such as valuing solitude, feelings of personal mastery, preferences for socializing, feelings after a romantic relationship ends, and much more.

Vulnerabilities of Singles with No Children: Part 4

I have previously described the strengths of people who are single and have no children. Here I review some family-relevant vulnerabilities.

Do Single Women Pursue Careers Because There Are Too Few Men?

In the “briefcase vs. baby” research, the authors never seriously considered any interpretations other than their own. They also did not recognize some of the most serious limitations of their work.

Family Talk and the Dissing of Friends and Community: Part 3 of Singles with No Kids

The important people in the lives of adults – other than nuclear family members – are often invisible. Friends and extended family, for example, are not as often recognized, valued, or celebrated as are children or partners in marriage.

Single, No Kids, Part 2: Family-Relevant Strengths

You could ask, about people who are single with no kids, how many important people they have in their lives. To understand the answer, though, you also need to ask how many they want to have.

Part 1: Does It Matter If You Are Single with No Kids?

What are the emotional implications of living single with no children? What are the strengths and vulnerabilities of the kinds of families and personal communities in the lives of singles with no children? This is part one of a four-part series.

Stop the Good Presses! The Backlash Against Living Alone Has Begun

Reports about a recent study claim that people living alone are more depressed than those living with others. However, no one was asked how depressed they felt. Plus, the design of the study could not possibly support claims about what causes what.

Becoming Single Again: People Who Are Kind to Themselves Do It Better

If you listen to people talk about their divorce just months after it happened, some seem to want to punish themselves whereas others show themselves more compassion and recognize that painful times are part of the human experience. Nine months later, one of the groups is still doing better than the other.

Undeterred, Rush Limbaugh Bashes Another Single Woman

I wonder whether women who are single – perhaps especially if they are single and accomplished – are especially likely get under Limbaugh’s skin. Undeterred by the flight of advertisers no longer willing to be associated with his war on women, Rush recently went on to disparage still another successful single woman.

Should We Care That More Women Are Having Children Without Having Husbands?

Children of single parents are in the news again—poor things. I like to deflate those kinds of obnoxious and condescending claims with data. A shrewd cultural critic takes a different approach.

Hooking Up Smart — and Nasty

The writer of a popular blog claims that women who choose to live single are not really happy, but are just deluded cat ladies “hamsterwheeling” in a futile attempt to escape their “nagging sense of disappointment.”

What’s the Big Deal About Single People?

Single people are the big media stars of the year 2012. Not celebrity singles, but ordinary people, who in ever growing numbers, are living single. Why all the fuss? Why now?

Is Your Ideal Living Situation Different at Different Points in Your Life?

Living alone, living with friends, living with a partner, living with family, and all the other endless permutations and possibilities – are different options more appealing at different times in your life?

In Cover Story on Singles, Loyal Following of This Blog Gets Shout-Out at the Washington Post Magazine!

A Washington Post reporter talks at length with single men and women past a certain age who wanted to marry but never did. Rather than hearing tales of woe, she discovers that they have lived, as one woman put it, a “full, rich, interesting life.”

Living Alone Is a Sign of Success – for the Individual and for Society

Two things: (1) We live alone because we want to and because we can. (2) A survey in the Washington Post invites single people to describe their experiences. Go have your say. It is good to be asked what we think.

This Book Will Change Our Lives

I don’t think I’ve ever said this about a book: “Going Solo” will become a classic. People will still be reading it decades from now.

Married Man’s Burden: Charles Murray’s Prescription for a Better America

“America is coming apart,” argues an author. Our national downfall could be reversed, he claims, if honest, hard-working married people got out of their non-judgmental cocoons and lived among the others.

Newt Gingrich’s Marital Hypocrisy Goes beyond His Self-Righteous Rant – and the Hypocrisy Is Not Specific to Him

Is it really fair for Newt Gingrich to say, judge me by this one marriage but not those two? Judge me by these family members but not those?

Is Cohabitation Bad for You? Answers from a 6-Year Study

Cohabitors differ from married people in self-esteem, happiness, health, and the time they spend with friends. Make your predictions, then read this post to see how you fared.

Slighting Friends and Family: Do Couples Become Less Couple-y Over Time?

As of two days ago, we now know the answer to this question: Is the “intensive coupling” that married people sometimes practice limited to the first few years of marriage? Do couples go back to spending more time with family and friends as they settle into their relationship?

Singles Year in Review, Part 2: The Bad and the Ugly

In the year 2011, singlism and matrimania marched on; both were practiced by plenty of people who should know better. It was also a year when single men were in for special ridicule.

What Kind of a Year Has It Been for Single People? Part 1: The Good Stuff

Part 1 in a series of posts looking back at 2011 and what it meant for people who are single. This one is about the highlights.

A Spouse for Christmas?

Pundits are supposed to be skeptical and critical. Candidates for the highest office in the land should be attuned to the characteristics of their constituencies. So how did they all miss out on the possible perspective of more than 100 million voting-age Americans?

Most Talked-About Living Single Posts for 2011

Most stumbled upon, “liked,” commented on, and tweeted Living Single posts from the year 2011

Single-at-Heart in Holland

Several hundred Dutch social psychologists cannot be wrong. (I hope.)

More Teen Sex at Home and Fewer Pregnancies: Here’s Where It Happens

When teen sexuality is normalized rather than dramatized, all hell does not break loose.

Writing a Script for Single at Heart—Really, There Could Be a TV Show

The Atlantic story, “All the Single Ladies,” has been optioned for a TV show. Give the screenwriters some great tips for creating a compelling show that is not the same old same old.