“Choosing whether or not to have children is,” a philosopher argues, “the most significant ethical debate of most people’s lives.” The burden of proof should rest “primarily on those who choose to have children, not those who choose to be childless.”
Increasingly, we can live as we like, have sex with whomever we like – or not at all – and avoid much of the stigma of the past. What I never anticipated is a direction that today’s young adults are heading.
In the law, marriage fraud includes faking a marriage in order to get benefits such as health insurance or immigration status or tax breaks. Maybe the real fraud is that you need to be married at all (“legitimately” or otherwise) in order to qualify for some fundamental human dignities.
Here’s how people who are single-at-heart differ from those who are not in matters such as valuing solitude, feelings of personal mastery, preferences for socializing, feelings after a romantic relationship ends, and much more.
The important people in the lives of adults – other than nuclear family members – are often invisible. Friends and extended family, for example, are not as often recognized, valued, or celebrated as are children or partners in marriage.
What are the emotional implications of living single with no children? What are the strengths and vulnerabilities of the kinds of families and personal communities in the lives of singles with no children? This is part one of a four-part series.
Reports about a recent study claim that people living alone are more depressed than those living with others. However, no one was asked how depressed they felt. Plus, the design of the study could not possibly support claims about what causes what.
If you listen to people talk about their divorce just months after it happened, some seem to want to punish themselves whereas others show themselves more compassion and recognize that painful times are part of the human experience. Nine months later, one of the groups is still doing better than the other.
I wonder whether women who are single – perhaps especially if they are single and accomplished – are especially likely get under Limbaugh’s skin. Undeterred by the flight of advertisers no longer willing to be associated with his war on women, Rush recently went on to disparage still another successful single woman.
The writer of a popular blog claims that women who choose to live single are not really happy, but are just deluded cat ladies “hamsterwheeling” in a futile attempt to escape their “nagging sense of disappointment.”
Living alone, living with friends, living with a partner, living with family, and all the other endless permutations and possibilities – are different options more appealing at different times in your life?
A Washington Post reporter talks at length with single men and women past a certain age who wanted to marry but never did. Rather than hearing tales of woe, she discovers that they have lived, as one woman put it, a “full, rich, interesting life.”
Two things: (1) We live alone because we want to and because we can. (2) A survey in the Washington Post invites single people to describe their experiences. Go have your say. It is good to be asked what we think.
“America is coming apart,” argues an author. Our national downfall could be reversed, he claims, if honest, hard-working married people got out of their non-judgmental cocoons and lived among the others.
As of two days ago, we now know the answer to this question: Is the “intensive coupling” that married people sometimes practice limited to the first few years of marriage? Do couples go back to spending more time with family and friends as they settle into their relationship?
Pundits are supposed to be skeptical and critical. Candidates for the highest office in the land should be attuned to the characteristics of their constituencies. So how did they all miss out on the possible perspective of more than 100 million voting-age Americans?
In the spirit of the book, Singled Out, Living Single is a myth-busting, consciousness-raising, totally unapologetic take on single life. At this blog, we discuss just about everything about single life -- except dating!