To the purveyors of gloom over what the Internet is supposedly doing to our social lives, hear this: The number of friends Americans have in their lives is substantial, and that number has been increasing. What's more, the increase in the number of people Americans see or hear from at least once a week is greatest for the heaviest users of the Internet.
Guest blogger and asexuality scholar Kristina Gupta discusses our society's compulsory sexuality and tells us how the asexuality movement challenges that. She also explains how a better understanding of asexuality can enrich lives and lower anxieties, even for people who consider themselves highly sexual.
Finally, big segments of society are waking up to the fact that not all of us are married or have kids. But they are stumped. What should we be called? Unmarried? Childless? Other? And if they want to appeal to us in affirming ways, how should they go about that?
What happens when you are single and seriously ill? How can you deal with the endless challenges when you feel so badly so much of the time? Nika Beamon, author of the riveting new memoir, Misdiagnosed, shares some advice on how to navigate single life when you are ill, and still remain the captain of your soul.
In the booming, buzzing confusion of our ringing, beeping, and nudging gadgets, do we need quiet more than ever? Or have we become so accustomed to human-made noises that we can't get by without them? Also featuring: links to collections of writings on solitude and living solo.
High-profile women such as Arianna Huffington and Mika Brzezinski want us to "thrive" by defining our success by metrics other than money and power. But in their discussions of women, the only other metrics they come up with are marriage and parenting. Do they really mean to relegate the millions of single women with no kids to the dustbin of humanity?
Should it really be so hard to be alone with your own thoughts, with no electronic devices or any other distractions, for just ten minutes? In a recent series of nearly a dozen studies, most people found the experience difficult and unpleasant. Some preferred to experience an electric shock instead. Do you think the results apply to you?
There is an emotional logic to our understanding of who should be the first (and second and third) to know about psychologically significant matters. When these disclosure rules are broken, and a person who should have known first is one of the last to find out, relationships are ruined. When rules are broken in the other direction, intimacy is deepened.
The number of people who are not married has been increasing for decades. But even if those increases slow or reverse, marriage is dead. We have seen the future and all of its possibilities, and marriage can never drag us back.
In the wake of the horrible Isla Vista mass murder, we have heard all about mental health, gun violence, misogyny, our media culture, and more. One topic, though, seems to have been completely overlooked.
The author of “Screw the Fairytale” has a thing or two to say about our obsession with romantic partners. For example: Why just one at a time? Why assume everyone wants one? What’s with the assumption that if you have a serious relationship partner, you are going to live with that person?
In systematic research in which two people are described in identical ways, except that one is said to be married and the other, single, the single person is consistently judged more harshly. What can that tell us about the thought-experiment of how Monica Lewinsky would have been viewed differently if she had been married?
For decades, reporters, pundits, and even social scientists have been claiming that married people are better. They sometimes do so without qualification and without apology. Now look what happens when someone turns the tables.
If you ask people directly whether someone is lying or telling the truth, they seem like lousy lie detectors. But what if you could find a more indirect way of finding out what they know? Then, would you find that people really do have some unconscious or implicit or gut-level knowledge of when other people are being dishonest?
As more women are having fewer children, a panic has developed about what this might mean for societies. Here are five ways in which the tendency toward having fewer children might actually be good for individuals and nations.
A fundamentally flawed study got lots of attention. It actually did NOT show that if you get married, you will have a healthier heart. The results for coronary heart disease actually suggested, though did not prove, just the opposite.
Body language can be so seductive. It can also be terribly misleading. It can be lead us astray in the bedroom, in politics, in the marketplace, and in everyday life. It can also be nearly useless in airport screenings.
If you include in your study only the people who are likely to give you the results you want, that’s not science. Almost all studies of the implications of marital status for health and happiness do just that.
I thought I was done with “why are you single” writings, but Sara Eckel’s demolishing of all those patronizing, contradictory, and inaccurate nuggets of advice was satisfying even to someone like me who has no interest in becoming unsingle.
In the spirit of the book, Singled Out, Living Single is a myth-busting, consciousness-raising, totally unapologetic take on single life. At this blog, we discuss just about everything about single life -- except dating!