About Those 27 Wrong Reasons You Are Single

I thought I was done with “why are you single” writings, but Sara Eckel’s demolishing of all those patronizing, contradictory, and inaccurate nuggets of advice was satisfying even to someone like me who has no interest in becoming unsingle.

An App That Feels Sorry for You

Time magazine’s sorry app hits a new low with its regressive attitudes and the values it thinks we should live by.

10 Steps for Getting Over Humiliation

Is it possible that what separates the successful from the unsuccessful is not getting humiliated – that happens to everyone – but how they cope with humiliation? Here are 10 tips from one of the most celebrated psychologists, who admits to three big-time humiliations.

Study: Got Married Sooner Than You Hoped? That’s Depressing

In a decades-long study, those who married younger than they had hoped were more depressed than those who married around their ideal age. Those who married a lot later than they had hoped were also more depressed. Those who married younger than they had wished and those who married a lot older were no less depressed at age 40 than those who wanted to marry but never did.

Lefties’ Love Affair with Marriage

Lefties have been terrific allies to those advocating for same-sex marriage rights. But in many important ways, they are just as matrimaniacal as people on the right. They have little to say about the benefits, protections, and perks denied to single people of every sexual orientation.

Debunking Every Myth about Marriage, All in One Place

Here’s where you can find the truth on just about every myth about how getting married will transform you. You can find out about happiness, health, sex, living longer, interpersonal connections, providing care and getting care, the fate of the children of single (vs. married) parents, and much more.

The First American Singles Day Celebration

China has a National Singles Day, but it is the matrimaniacal kind, in which singles look for and celebrate The One. Why not a more enlightened version in the US? One enthusiastic and energetic single woman is trying to make that happen and has already organized some events.

Why Do Boomers Divorce So Much More Than Everyone Else?

Boomers are bucking the trend toward fewer divorces. So why are they divorcing so much more often than everyone else? One view is that they are innovators with high standards for their conjugal partners. That would be so boring if boomers went from transformers of society to garden-variety matrimaniacs.

Getting Married and Not Getting Healthy: Decades of Data

If you get married, will you get healthier? Here I scrutinize decades of data, and take on the claims about physical health (including weight, exercise, blood pressure, stroke, heart health, sleep, Alzheimer’s, epilepsy, and cancer), and mental health (including emotional health, depression, suicide, and psychopathy).

In Japan, Can Marriage Be a Hobby and Friendship for Real?

There have been many sensationalist stories about singles in Japan that are not exactly flattering. In this guest post by Asian Studies scholar Laura Dales, we are treated to a behind-the-scenes look at some of the more enlightening responses to the singlism, including one from a critic who tells single Japanese women to think of marriage as, at best, a hobby.

‘Why Are You Single’ Lists That Do Not Pathologize Singles

If you are about to read another one of those “why are you single” articles, you may want to take a look at this first.

How to Live with Other People

Let’s talk about ways of living with other people, such as living with friends, living with your parents, living among other people in a genuine community, living as a committed couple—but not in the same home, and design features that promote meaningful social interactions.

Living Alone: Everything You Always Wanted to Know

The topic of living alone is like a Rorschach test. Different people see wildly different meanings in it. Is it a sign of our selfishness and growing individualism? Or is it a tribute to our personal and societal success? Is it isolating, or are people who live alone even more connected than everyone else? Here’s what we know so far.

The New American Families

In a wide-ranging piece in the New York Times, Natalie Angier introduces us to families that our great grandparents would have found shocking. Along the way, she offers a brief course on changing family forms. Here are a few of my favorite points.

Top 8 Reasons Not to Marry

Many people have good reasons, based on values, principles, and a strong sense of self, for not marrying.

8 Things You Might Want to Know if You Are Single

From research findings to high-profile editorializing to new rules for living single, here are some of the things I thought you should know.

Coming Out as Single-At-Heart: Guest Post by Psyngle

What happens when you come out as single-at-heart? That’s what Psyngle tells us in this guest post.

Challenges of Single Adoptive Parenting

In this guest post, E. Kay Trimberger draws from her own experience as a single person who adopted to describe some of the challenges. Her first 14 years with her son were joyous; she hadn’t expected what came next.

Will Marriage Save You from Dying of Cancer?

Stories about the latest study followed me halfway around the world. Again, married people were declared the winners, this time for their cancer-survival skills. But again, it is possible that the study showed nothing of the sort.

How Many Married People Wish They Were Single?

People who are married can divorce if they want to. But does that mean that everyone who is married really wants to be married—to their current spouse or anyone else?

How Would You Live If Money Were No Object?

Do you have a fantasy about how to live? If you had no financial constraints and no other constraints, so that you could live exactly as you wished, what would your ideal living situation look like?

Singles and Singlism: International Edition

It’s only for a week. That’s what I thought when I headed off to Finland to give a series of talks about single people. How behind could I get on stories I want to cover on my blogs?

How Many People Choose to Be Single?

How many single people really choose to be single? That’s a question I am asked fairly often, typically by people who are skeptical that even one person would really want to live outside of Married Couples Land.

National Singles Week: 16 Reasons Why We Need It

There are at least 16 reasons to mark National Unmarried and Single Americans Week. If the week does not get hijacked by matrimaniacs, we can help change the way the nation understands what “single” means.

Vulnerable Single People and Resilient Single People

On the average, the health and happiness and self-esteem of single people is just fine, and often a lot better than just fine. Some single people, though, are relatively more vulnerable to singles-bashing messaging, and others are more resilient.

Success Depends More on Friendship Skills than Romantic Ones

American culture is obsessed with romance. But if you are a 20-something year old looking into the future, your skills at friendship are going to be more important than any romantic success. Here’s the evidence.

Singles, What Are You Already Doing Successfully?

Single people, please share the ways in which you have already successfully mastered some of the challenges of living single.

What Would Make Your Life Better as a Single Person?

What would improve your life as a single person? Consider every possibility, from small practical matters to sweeping societal changes.

The Secret to Balancing Time Alone and Time Together?

Groups of people have been coming together to create a new kind of community which offers the possibility of easy sociability and deeper friendships while also allowing for some privacy and solitude.

The Least Appreciated Perk of Living Alone

Married couples and roommates obsess about it. Essayists, polemicists, and scholars never stop writing about it. People who live alone, though, can just smile and shrug.

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