The New American Families

In a wide-ranging piece in the New York Times, Natalie Angier introduces us to families that our great grandparents would have found shocking. Along the way, she offers a brief course on changing family forms. Here are a few of my favorite points.

Top 8 Reasons Not to Marry

Many people have good reasons, based on values, principles, and a strong sense of self, for not marrying.

8 Things You Might Want to Know if You Are Single

From research findings to high-profile editorializing to new rules for living single, here are some of the things I thought you should know.

Coming Out as Single-At-Heart: Guest Post by Psyngle

What happens when you come out as single-at-heart? That’s what Psyngle tells us in this guest post.

Challenges of Single Adoptive Parenting

In this guest post, E. Kay Trimberger draws from her own experience as a single person who adopted to describe some of the challenges. Her first 14 years with her son were joyous; she hadn’t expected what came next.

Will Marriage Save You from Dying of Cancer?

Stories about the latest study followed me halfway around the world. Again, married people were declared the winners, this time for their cancer-survival skills. But again, it is possible that the study showed nothing of the sort.

How Many Married People Wish They Were Single?

People who are married can divorce if they want to. But does that mean that everyone who is married really wants to be married—to their current spouse or anyone else?

How Would You Live If Money Were No Object?

Do you have a fantasy about how to live? If you had no financial constraints and no other constraints, so that you could live exactly as you wished, what would your ideal living situation look like?

Singles and Singlism: International Edition

It’s only for a week. That’s what I thought when I headed off to Finland to give a series of talks about single people. How behind could I get on stories I want to cover on my blogs?

How Many People Choose to Be Single?

How many single people really choose to be single? That’s a question I am asked fairly often, typically by people who are skeptical that even one person would really want to live outside of Married Couples Land.

National Singles Week: 16 Reasons Why We Need It

There are at least 16 reasons to mark National Unmarried and Single Americans Week. If the week does not get hijacked by matrimaniacs, we can help change the way the nation understands what “single” means.

Vulnerable Single People and Resilient Single People

On the average, the health and happiness and self-esteem of single people is just fine, and often a lot better than just fine. Some single people, though, are relatively more vulnerable to singles-bashing messaging, and others are more resilient.

Success Depends More on Friendship Skills than Romantic Ones

American culture is obsessed with romance. But if you are a 20-something year old looking into the future, your skills at friendship are going to be more important than any romantic success. Here’s the evidence.

Singles, What Are You Already Doing Successfully?

Single people, please share the ways in which you have already successfully mastered some of the challenges of living single.

What Would Make Your Life Better as a Single Person?

What would improve your life as a single person? Consider every possibility, from small practical matters to sweeping societal changes.

The Secret to Balancing Time Alone and Time Together?

Groups of people have been coming together to create a new kind of community which offers the possibility of easy sociability and deeper friendships while also allowing for some privacy and solitude.

The Least Appreciated Perk of Living Alone

Married couples and roommates obsess about it. Essayists, polemicists, and scholars never stop writing about it. People who live alone, though, can just smile and shrug.

Why Political Spouses–and All Spouses–Know Less Than We Do

Research suggests that a perfect stranger is more likely than Huma Abedin to know when Anthony Weiner is lying and when he is telling the truth. Not that I care. I want to base my judgments of the candidate on the candidate, and not on the testimonials of the candidate’s spouse.

Denial of Discrimination: What Motivates It?

Discussions of the death of Trayvon Martin have included impassioned denials of racism and discrimination – not only in that case but more generally. There are powerful motivations behind the denial and explaining away of all sorts of isms, including singlism. Even those who are targets of discrimination have reasons not to acknowledge what is happening.

Celebrations of Finland’s Success Leave One Big Group Behind

An article at The Atlantic, “The secret to Finland’s success with schools, moms, kids—and everything,” claims that “Finns have incredible equality and very little poverty.” Unmentioned in the article is the unusually high risk of poverty among people living alone.

Second Singlehood: A Time to Blossom, by Diane Marty

From Diane Marty’s guest post: “Those of us raised in the self-sacrificial Christian tradition were taught to suppress individual desires during the coupled years when the needs of the conjoined entity, the couple, are paramount. But I was another entity now—a widowed, newly single-again woman, uncoupled and free to make new choices.”

Alone and Together: Declarations of In(ter)dependence

More than a dozen singles bloggers talk about maintaining their independence while also forging and maintaining meaningful human connections. Not all of them achieved what they were after the first time around. Plus, other research and riffs on in(ter)dependence.

If You Are Single, Is Every Day Independence Day?

In the U.S., July 4 is Independence Day. If you are single, is every day Independence Day? Is independence just another word for social isolation?

Single-Minded Change Agents: The Women of Onely.org

How is it that some single people become motivated to really do something about all the singlism and matrimania? Christina Campbell and Lisa A. of Onely.org answer 7 questions about their experiences at consciousness-raising and their quest for social justice for single people.

Myths about Marriage and Single Life: Weight of the Evidence

A new singles’ collection: Amassing the evidence to crush myths about marriage and single life, welcoming your stories, and more.

Genes and Marriage: Their Claims, My Qualms

A new study uses behavioral genetics to try to make the claim that getting married results in physical and mental health benefits. The authors had to concede that getting married did nothing for physical health. I explain why I don’t buy their claims for the small effects they did find.

Best Story I’ve Ever Read on Singlism in the Workplace

Single people, and adults without children, tell their stories of discrimination in the workplace and how one of them got it to stop. The practice is not just personal—it’s institutional.

The Loneliness Panic

Once again, the loneliness panic is upon us. Before we get too carried away, let’s consider some new data and some neglected perspectives.

Becoming Single Again: How Has it Made You a Better Person?

Myths about the supposedly transformational power of marriage need to be countered by personal stories and scientific data on the value of living single.

What Anthropologists Know About Single People

Anthropologists have a view that is as big as the world. What they have to say about marriage, family, and single life will take you way beyond the prevailing platitudes of contemporary American life.

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