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Living Single

The truth about singles in our society.

Happiness
A Happy Life or a Meaningful One? They Are Not the Same

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on April 2, 2015

Although experiencing happiness and meaningfulness in your life often go together, they are not exactly the same. Research shows what kinds of experiences are markers of a life that is happy but not meaningful, and the (sometimes surprising) experiences that comprise a life that is meaningful, but not happy.

Although experiencing happiness and meaningfulness in your life often go together, they are not exactly the same. Research shows what kinds of experiences are markers of a life that is happy but not meaningful, and the (sometimes surprising) experiences that comprise a life that is meaningful, but not happy.

Proxemics
10 Awkward Moments, and 6 Ways to Escape Them

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on March 25, 2015

We all have socially awkward experiences, but what makes a social interaction so uncomfortable? Research has pointed to 10 kinds of experiences that are especially likely to make people feel awkward, and 6 things people can do to escape from the awkwardness (without just walking away) and feel comfortable again.

We all have socially awkward experiences, but what makes a social interaction so uncomfortable? Research has pointed to 10 kinds of experiences that are especially likely to make people feel awkward, and 6 things people can do to escape from the awkwardness (without just walking away) and feel comfortable again.

Loneliness
Is a Solitary Life a Shorter Life? Results of Big New Review

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on March 19, 2015

A new review of a huge amount of data suggests that loneliness, social isolation, and living alone are all linked to shorter lives. Does that mean that living alone is bad for your health even if you love going solo? That's what the New York Times claimed. Here's why they are wrong.

A new review of a huge amount of data suggests that loneliness, social isolation, and living alone are all linked to shorter lives. Does that mean that living alone is bad for your health even if you love going solo? That's what the New York Times claimed. Here's why they are wrong.

Bias
The Wrong Way to Help Children

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on March 14, 2015

For the first time, more babies are being born to cohabiting mothers than single mothers. Both of those family types are worse off economically than married-parent families.

For the first time, more babies are being born to cohabiting mothers than single mothers. Both of those family types are worse off economically than married-parent families.

Trust
Can You Trust Married People to Keep a Secret?

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on February 21, 2015

If you have friends who are married, should you assume that those friends share all of your communications and conversations – both the routine ones and those told in confidence – with their spouse? What does it mean if couples see themselves only as a unit and not also as individuals?

If you have friends who are married, should you assume that those friends share all of your communications and conversations – both the routine ones and those told in confidence – with their spouse? What does it mean if couples see themselves only as a unit and not also as individuals?

Bias
Check Your Marital Privilege

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on February 14, 2015

There is a vast swath of unearned privileges that have gone largely unrecognized, even though they unfairly advantage about half of the adult population in the U.S.—marital privileges. People who marry enjoy social, cultural, economic, and political advantages that single people do not, simply because they are married.

There is a vast swath of unearned privileges that have gone largely unrecognized, even though they unfairly advantage about half of the adult population in the U.S.—marital privileges. People who marry enjoy social, cultural, economic, and political advantages that single people do not, simply because they are married.

Perfectionism
Are You a Perfectionist?

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on February 10, 2015

A 30-item quiz promises to reveal your perfectionist tendencies and, along the way, let you know what perfectionism really is. But how do you know whether this quiz, or any other, really does measure what it claims to measure?

A 30-item quiz promises to reveal your perfectionist tendencies and, along the way, let you know what perfectionism really is. But how do you know whether this quiz, or any other, really does measure what it claims to measure?

Media
Best Media Debunking of the Myth of Marital Bliss

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on February 7, 2015

For way too long, reporters who should know better have been perpetuating myths about the benefits of marrying based on working papers and press releases. Finally, someone challenged those claims instead of just repeating them.

For way too long, reporters who should know better have been perpetuating myths about the benefits of marrying based on working papers and press releases. Finally, someone challenged those claims instead of just repeating them.

Happiness
How Not to Think About Single People

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on February 3, 2015

When "experts" offer their opinions on single people, they sometimes reveal what they do not know about single people and single life. A recent New York Times story includes a number of claims just begging to be critiqued. Readers, have at it!

When "experts" offer their opinions on single people, they sometimes reveal what they do not know about single people and single life. A recent New York Times story includes a number of claims just begging to be critiqued. Readers, have at it!

Relationships
How to Be Happily Single for Life

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on January 26, 2015

In a study of lifelong single people in Ireland, 65 and older, those who had chosen to live single were happier and had fewer regrets than those who were single because of constraints. The single-by-choice seniors were contentedly pursuing their interests, volunteering, and socializing with friends and relatives.

In a study of lifelong single people in Ireland, 65 and older, those who had chosen to live single were happier and had fewer regrets than those who were single because of constraints. The single-by-choice seniors were contentedly pursuing their interests, volunteering, and socializing with friends and relatives.

Race and Ethnicity
Marital Privilege: It's Not Just a Courtroom Thing

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on January 16, 2015

The growing awareness of white privilege and male privilege has opened our eyes to many other kinds of privileges. Yet amidst all this consciousness-raising, most people have remained oblivious to the unearned privileges that advantage at least half of the adult population – people who are married.

The growing awareness of white privilege and male privilege has opened our eyes to many other kinds of privileges. Yet amidst all this consciousness-raising, most people have remained oblivious to the unearned privileges that advantage at least half of the adult population – people who are married.

Marriage
Getting Married Makes You Happier? No, Part 2 [UPDATED]

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on January 10, 2015

Heard about the recent research supposedly showing that marrying makes people lastingly happier? It actually showed that in vast swaths of the world, married people are not happier than single people. It also replicated the finding that any increase in happiness among people who get married and stay married is just a short-lived honeymoon effect.

Heard about the recent research supposedly showing that marrying makes people lastingly happier? It actually showed that in vast swaths of the world, married people are not happier than single people. It also replicated the finding that any increase in happiness among people who get married and stay married is just a short-lived honeymoon effect.

Marriage
Getting Married Makes You Happier? Again, No, Part 1

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on January 9, 2015

In this, the first of two posts on the latest study claiming that getting married makes you happier, I explain why no study has ever definitively shown that getting married causes people to become happier—and no study ever will. In Part 2, I'll critique the latest study in detail.

In this, the first of two posts on the latest study claiming that getting married makes you happier, I explain why no study has ever definitively shown that getting married causes people to become happier—and no study ever will. In Part 2, I'll critique the latest study in detail.

Relationships
Your Comfort Zone: Should You Just Stay in It?

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on January 5, 2015

Overcome your limitations? No, embrace them. So says Meghan Daum in one of the many brilliant essays in her new book, "The Unspeakable: And Other Subjects of Discussion."

Overcome your limitations? No, embrace them. So says Meghan Daum in one of the many brilliant essays in her new book, "The Unspeakable: And Other Subjects of Discussion."

Relationships
Why Don't We Confide in the People Closest to Us?

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on December 28, 2014

Researchers have long assumed that we discuss our most intimate matters only with the most important people in our lives. A sociologist just tested that assumption, and discovered just how wrong we have been.

Researchers have long assumed that we discuss our most intimate matters only with the most important people in our lives. A sociologist just tested that assumption, and discovered just how wrong we have been.

Deception
Can a Computer Tell When You Are Lying?

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on December 16, 2014

If I fed a transcript of your communications into a computer, could the computer tell if you were lying? In a review of 44 studies, some cues to deception were unearthed by the computer programs. In important ways, though, the computers were really pretty lame at figuring out who was lying.

If I fed a transcript of your communications into a computer, could the computer tell if you were lying? In a review of 44 studies, some cues to deception were unearthed by the computer programs. In important ways, though, the computers were really pretty lame at figuring out who was lying.

Loneliness
Are We Less Lonely Than We've Been in Decades?

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on December 14, 2014

For decades, teenagers and young adults have been telling researchers how lonely they feel. Guess what? In contrast to all the scary headlines you have been seeing about the increasingly lonely Americans, trends suggest just the opposite. What should we make of that?

For decades, teenagers and young adults have been telling researchers how lonely they feel. Guess what? In contrast to all the scary headlines you have been seeing about the increasingly lonely Americans, trends suggest just the opposite. What should we make of that?