No to Marriage: Not a Good Deal, or not Even on the Table?

Many people who choose to live single are not doing so because they are waiting for "the one" or "putting marriage aside" or because marriage "does not offer a good deal anymore." Marriage was never on the table.

8 Ways Singles Are More Connected, Caring, and Generous

Do you think that it is married people who are holding our families and communities together, who are most generous, and who are contributing the most toward the care of old and disabled people who cannot care for themselves? Here are 10 evidence-based ways in which you are wrong. It is single people who are the most connected, caring, and generous.

Who's Afraid of Single People?

Throughout history, people have often bemoaned "the sharp decline of social trust and the breakdown of community ties." Today, those social ills are sometimes pinned on the rise of single people. The data, though, indicate that it is people who get married who become more insular.

The 9 Ways Boring People Can Bore You

Studies of the social psychology of boredom show that we can bore people with what we say or don't say and with our style of interacting. We are right to worry about being boring: people who are judged as boring are judged harshly in many other ways, too. There is, though, one way in which boring people are seen as superior to interesting ones.

How to Scare People into Getting Married

An "expert" tells single people that they had better hurry up and get married or else their lives are going to be nasty, brutish, and short. Also, they won't have "important self-insights" like married people do and they won't know how to get along with people, either. This was in the Wall Street Journal. In the year 2014.

Dilbert Creator Discovers Single Life and Writes New Rules

Dilbert creator Scott Adams has just had the best year of his life. That was not by chance. Here are the three principles he set out to follow in order to create the most rewarding experiences for himself and the other people in his life. One of his principles seemed risky but it worked out far better than he feared.

Is This David Letterman's Most Shameful Top 10 List?

I'm used to lame jokes about single people, but David Letterman's "Top 10 reasons why you are still single" left me reeling. Do you think his list – especially the last reason – was acceptable?

You Are Engaged, in the Best Way!

To the readers of this blog who have often engaged in discussions of the posts, may I thank you on the dedication page of a new collection? And a few more topics of national and international significance.

7 Stunning Ways Life Was Different in the 1960s

The sixties was an inspiring decade, but it started from a pretty dreary place. Some characteristics of the U.S. in 1960: nasty attitudes, hardly any women had bachelor's degrees, marriage (the male/female type) was nearly universal, and only 1 in 350 kids lived with a mother who had never been married.

Weirdest Thing Ever – at Least in My Life

Two weird things: (1) how my Singled Out book got implicated in a marriage, and (2) the assumption I had made about myself that I had to revisit.

Best Things about Living Alone – for People Who Mean It

"Best things about living alone" lists are everywhere. They are filled with the most superficial attractions of solo living. Here are some of the profoundly fulfilling rewards of living on your own, for people who aren't just trying to convince themselves that they like it.

Do Heavy Internet Users Have a Lousy Social Life?

To the purveyors of gloom over what the Internet is supposedly doing to our social lives, hear this: The number of friends Americans have in their lives is substantial, and that number has been increasing. What's more, the increase in the number of people Americans see or hear from at least once a week is greatest for the heaviest users of the Internet.

So Long, Compulsory Sex! See Ya, Viagra! Asexuality is Here

Guest blogger and asexuality scholar Kristina Gupta discusses our society's compulsory sexuality and tells us how the asexuality movement challenges that. She also explains how a better understanding of asexuality can enrich lives and lower anxieties, even for people who consider themselves highly sexual.

Aiming for Single with No Kids?

Finally, big segments of society are waking up to the fact that not all of us are married or have kids. But they are stumped. What should we be called? Unmarried? Childless? Other? And if they want to appeal to us in affirming ways, how should they go about that?

Captain of Her Soul: How to Deal With Being Sick and Single

What happens when you are single and seriously ill? How can you deal with the endless challenges when you feel so badly so much of the time? Nika Beamon, author of the riveting new memoir, Misdiagnosed, shares some advice on how to navigate single life when you are ill, and still remain the captain of your soul.

No Kids, No Life? Or, Really Great Life?

Even if the research shows that people are generally happier–or less happy–with kids, that does not mean that YOU will be. We have more choices now about how to live, and that's a good thing.

Quiet: Do We Need It Now More Than Ever?

In the booming, buzzing confusion of our ringing, beeping, and nudging gadgets, do we need quiet more than ever? Or have we become so accustomed to human-made noises that we can't get by without them? Also featuring: links to collections of writings on solitude and living solo.

Why Are So Many Smart Women So Clueless About Single Life?

High-profile women such as Arianna Huffington and Mika Brzezinski want us to "thrive" by defining our success by metrics other than money and power. But in their discussions of women, the only other metrics they come up with are marriage and parenting. Do they really mean to relegate the millions of single women with no kids to the dustbin of humanity?

Most Can’t Stand to Be Alone With Their Thoughts–Can You?

Should it really be so hard to be alone with your own thoughts, with no electronic devices or any other distractions, for just ten minutes? In a recent series of nearly a dozen studies, most people found the experience difficult and unpleasant. Some preferred to experience an electric shock instead. Do you think the results apply to you?

The Unwritten Rules of Sharing Your News

There is an emotional logic to our understanding of who should be the first (and second and third) to know about psychologically significant matters. When these disclosure rules are broken, and a person who should have known first is one of the last to find out, relationships are ruined. When rules are broken in the other direction, intimacy is deepened.

The Happy Loner

Why do we see sociable people as having special skills, while feeling wary of people who are good at spending time alone? Why isn’t the ability to savor solitude a special talent, too?

The End of Marriage

The number of people who are not married has been increasing for decades. But even if those increases slow or reverse, marriage is dead. We have seen the future and all of its possibilities, and marriage can never drag us back.

Get Married or Get Pummeled: Actual Claim in Washington Post

The Washington Post actually published this headline: “One way to avoid violence against women? Stop taking lovers and get married.” It did not stand.

Single in the UK, Post Bridget Jones

Bridget Jones was funny, but not exactly inspirational. Now in this guest post, UK blogger and author Paula Coston shares a much more enlightened perspective on single life from the UK.

Will Mate-trimony Make It Fashionable to Be Single?

Mate-trimony, frennymoons, frenniversaries, life insurance for friends – can these kinds of ideas add up to a better place in society for singles and their friends?

Santa Barbara Slaughter

In the wake of the horrible Isla Vista mass murder, we have heard all about mental health, gun violence, misogyny, our media culture, and more. One topic, though, seems to have been completely overlooked.

Ditch the Fairytale – and Monogamy?

The author of “Screw the Fairytale” has a thing or two to say about our obsession with romantic partners. For example: Why just one at a time? Why assume everyone wants one? What’s with the assumption that if you have a serious relationship partner, you are going to live with that person?

What If Monica Lewinsky Had Been Married?

In systematic research in which two people are described in identical ways, except that one is said to be married and the other, single, the single person is consistently judged more harshly. What can that tell us about the thought-experiment of how Monica Lewinsky would have been viewed differently if she had been married?

Married People Are Mad! How Dare I Say Singles Are Better?

For decades, reporters, pundits, and even social scientists have been claiming that married people are better. They sometimes do so without qualification and without apology. Now look what happens when someone turns the tables.

23 Ways Single People Are Better: The Scientific Evidence

The scientifically-documented superiority of single people can be found in all sorts of domains, such as health, social connections, values, generosity, resilience, and personal resources.

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