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Busted for Matrimania, and So Much More: Singles Collection, Part 3
So many voices: Is enlightenment catching up with singlism?
Posted August 21, 2009
Finally, someone gets busted for matrimania! A Maryland politician used a helicopter and a police boat to stage an awesome marriage proposal. Guess what - Marylanders were not wild about having their police department funds used in this manner. So there are limits to matrimania after all.
Welcome to this third installment of my Singles Collection. (The first two are here and here.) I post in this series when I have accumulated such a backlog of nuggets to share with my Living Single readers that I couldn't possibly devote full posts to each of them. So I post a round-up instead. Here it is. (And I still have lots of topics I haven't gotten to yet.)
Eyes on the Matrimaniacs - and Those Who Deflate Them
1. Ever notice a theme in those "secret questions" you are asked to answer on various websites? Nicky Grist did (she's the Executive Director of the Alternatives to Marriage Project), and gave Yahoo a piece of her unmarried mind. Read about it here.
2. September 20-26 is National Singles Week (sometimes called Unmarried and Single Americans Week). Post your suggestions for how we should mark it.
3. How much do I love Janet Napolitano? (She is the single woman and former Arizona Governor who was the target of Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell's quip that she'd make a great Secretary of Homeland Security because she "has no family. Perfect. She can devote, literally, 19, 20 hours a day to it.") She was interviewed recently by Deborah Solomon for the New York Times Magazine, so of course the topic turned to the perceptions of her that may be linked to her single status - Rendell's quip, curiosity about her sexual orientation, and the final question, "Are you seeing anybody now?" Here's Napolitano's answer: "Yes, my staff." I think I'll add that to my Singles Aptitude Test. (And one other thing - Napolitano has climbed Mount Kilimanjaro.)
4. Remember the one about the New York Times reporter who announced his belief, in his "science" blog, that single women have a fear of intimacy? Well, the Times has doubled down on its singlism. I subscribe to their weekly e-mail review of recent highlights, and in it, they featured not just the original post, but comments from two readers expressing their beliefs that single women are indeed mate-poachers! They didn't even try to fake an unbiased perspective by presenting one view from each side.
Thinking, Learning, Discussing, and Even More Kinds of Fun
5. A retired physician gave me a heads-up about AMUUSE: Adult Midwest Universalist Singles Enrichment. It is described as a "year-round community of single adults." If you have participated, please share your experiences in the Comments section.
6. Boldly Go Solo features lots about singles-relevant travel, including the quirky, such as the recent post about touring Scranton, Pennsylvania, of "The Office" fame. (I grew up in the nearby tiny town of Dunmore.)
7. Will you be in Edinburgh (UK) on Tuesday September 15 at 1 pm? Kay Trimberger, author of The New Single Woman and friend of Living Single, will be giving a talk titled "Friendship and Society in the 21st century: Why we need a new law of friendship." It's free, but contact L.marshall [at] ed.ac.uk to register.
8. Also in Edinburgh, check out this Solo Living Seminar. It's on Monday October 26.
9. Are you an entrepreneur or an aspiring one? Single startups, a new website for cool single CEOs is worth checking out.
10. Here's a question from a Living Single reader that I probably won't get to anytime soon: "Can you have friendships (real friendships) with the opposite sex when you are totally attracted to them?" Thoughts? Please post them.
11. Single black men - here's your chance to have your say. Earlier in the summer, I told you about Nika Beamon's wonderful book about successful single black women, I Didn't Work This Hard Just to Get Married. About a month later, she sent me an email that included the following: "After being ambushed at signings about whether or not I would allow black men to speak for themselves on the topic of marriage, I have begun working on: Marry Me? Wait, Not So Fast: Single Black Men Speak." So if you are a single black man willing to talk to Nika about your life, you can contact her at : Denali17 [at] optonline.net.
12. The discussion group footloose femails continues to welcome new members. From the group's description: " ‘footloosefemails' has been created as a place for single women to connect with each other and talk about issues that we face as we ‘fly solo' through life - the types of things that we often can't talk about with others. And hopefully along the way we'll be making new friends who can relate to everything we say!"
For Your Reading and Listening Pleasure
13. Remember Time's matrimaniacal cover story that I made fun of in this previous post? On the radio show, Counterspin, there was a great interview about it featuring Nation writer Katha Pollitt. I would have liked it even if both Pollitt and interviewer Gerald LeMelle had not mentioned my Living Single post. You can access the audio and the transcript here.
14. Jane Ganahl's wonderful anthology, Single Woman of a Certain Age: Romantic Escapades, Shifting Shapes, and Serene Independence, is now out in paperback.
15. Here's a totally irreverent take on turning 60 as a single person: it is on the blog, InJaynesWorld.
16. Last but not least, in case you don't already know about it, I've collected 89 of my essays, blog posts, and op-eds in this new book, Single with Attitude: Not Your Typical Take on Health and Happiness, Love and Money, Marriage and Friendship. Now when someone asks me about a particular singles-bashing study, I can point them to a section of the book where a whole set of such studies are critiqued. Same for questions about singlism and matrimania, friendship, family, work, religion, living single at different ages, and much more - each has its own section. You can order Single with Attitude in paperback here or from Amazon; Kindle version is available, too. (You might also enjoy my little book, Behind the Door of Deceit: Understanding the Biggest Liars in Our Lives. I described it here. It is available in paperback here or from Amazon; Kindle version is available, too.)
To read other Living Single posts, click here.
