Well if you haven’t, you probably will, or you learned the hard way that you shouldn’t even bother anymore, because you inevitably do break them. Whatever they are. No matter how important. Or maybe you are one of the few who don’t break them. Hmm.
There are lots of great ideas about how to make changes, create new habits, break bad habits, become a better person, lose weight, work out, drink less, be nicer, stop yelling at the kids, work harder, call your parents more, get better grades, stop watching so much TV, clean the bathroom…you get the idea.
And it is important to have some good, sound strategies in place for all of the “to do” lists. But it is, perhaps, more important, to differentiate between the “should” list, the “want” list and the “choice” list.
The “should” list is easy to figure out and it runs in your head pretty consistently. The “want” list is often the opposite altogether of the “should” list. Sometimes the “want” list runs the show and that’s a problem. Sometimes it is so hidden that you don’t even know what you want, and that’s a problem, too.
What if we knew what we wanted (and who, in us, wanted what)? And what if we knew what we should do, using should in the highest possible definition: that which we feel morally or ethically obliged to do? And then, what if we knew how to choose, in a way that was a perfect fit for us? No external “shoulds.” No inner child subpersonalities or inner critics making the choices. No old messages driving our decisions. No unconscious actions taking over. No waffling back and forth till a decision gets made by default. No impulse control disorder. No denial of personal need.
Just, me, my truth and “I”. You, your truth and “YOU”. And from that place of self-awareness and self-knowledge, the place of wisdom and compassion, the place from which intuition springs, we could (on a good day) see all of the many desires and thoughts and impulses and subpersonalities all pulling one way and another and WE, the real I, Self, Center of US could keep breathing and return to the “choice” list.
I have all of these thoughts and feelings and I am more than these. I have various impulses and I am not those impulses. I want many things and I am not bound by my desires. I have many voices (inner and outer) calling me towards certain behaviors, and I am free to choose to act or not act on those voices.
I am the one who is aware and the one who chooses. I have my New Year’s resolutions, and if they are helpful, I will attend to them. If they are old, tiresome “shoulds” I will let them go. If they are the Call of my true Self, I will respond, as best I can, accepting and loving myself no matter what.
Now that’s a New Year’s resolution worth working with. It’s 2014 and I am choosing to grow into more and more self-acceptance and self-love.
Guided by that one simple resolution, how will you choose to live your day today?