You can have self-confidence without having self-esteem. Self-confidence is believing in your ability to do something; self-esteem is believing in your worthiness as a person.

More and more frequently I run into people who know they are intelligent, but don't believe it; know they are attractive, but don't believe it; know they are successful, but don't believe it; know they are good people, but don't believe it and/or know they are worthwhile and don't believe it.

The positive side to not feeling intelligent, attractive, successful, good or worthwhile is that it can keep pushing you to become better at all of these. The negative side is that it can cause you to feel anxious, depressed and rob you of peace of mind. At the extreme it can cause you to feel despair, which I define as des-pair, i.e. feeling unpaired with intelligence, attractiveness, success, goodness or worthiness. And feeling despair can cause you to give up.

If you have overcome this dilemma of knowing something positive about yourself, but not believing it, please share what you did to put this demon to rest.

It will help many people. It will help me.

Recent Posts in Just Listen

Overcoming Garden Variety Moodiness

Disappointment + Rumination = Moodiness

Hacking Hatred — What Drives People to Hate and Kill

Injustice + isolation + agitation + last straw + drugs --> moral lobotomy

The 7 Killers of Hope

Why Hope Doesn't Float

FIFA Fo Fum I Smell the Blood of Corruption

Ahh, just another case of "Boys will be Boys"

Preview of Talking to Crazy

How to deal with the irrational and impossible people in your life

How to Deal with Your Moody Teenager

When they don't want your advice or solutions