Hi there! This post was removed from Psychology Today by the author, but you can still read it in its original form here:
LOL => "There is evidence that male masturbation serves to rotate the stock so that there is always a fresh batch of gametes at the ready."
Deja Vu! Biloxi Blues: A group of young recruits go through boot camp during the Second World War in Biloxi Mississippi. From the play by Neil Simon.
[the boys are waiting their turn to see a prostitute]
Eugene Morris Jerome: Hey, what if she's ugly. I mean, really ugly.
Selridge: Then you close your eyes and you think of some cheerleader.
Eugene Morris Jerome: I don't want to close my eyes, that's the same as doing it to yourself.
Selridge: Not if you're feeling someone underneath you, or on top of you.
Eugene Morris Jerome: On top of me? Who would be on top of me?
Selridge: She would. She could be anywhere. Under a table, on a chair, or an ironing board.
Eugene Morris Jerome: On an ironing board? What kind of girl is this? I thought we were going to a regular place.
Selridge: Don't you know anything?
Eugene Morris Jerome: Maybe not in actual experience, but I have all the information I need.
Selridge: You don't know shit, Jerome. Do you know how many positions there are?
Eugene Morris Jerome: American or worldwide?
Carney: (laughs) This guy is a riot.
Selridge: For five bucks, how many positions are there?
Eugene Morris Jerome: Let me think.
Selridge: Do you want me to tell you?
Eugene Morris Jerome: No.
Selridge: I'm gonna tell you. There are seventeen acceptable positions.
Eugene Morris Jerome: Acceptable? What is there, an Olympic committee that votes on positions.
Carney: I can't believe this guy is from New York.
Eugene Morris Jerome: Besides, you're wrong. There's fifty-two positions.
Selridge: Fifty-two? You're crazy. Where did you ever get that from?
Eugene Morris Jerome: I saw a dirty deck of cards once.
Selridge: This jerk is worse than Epstein.
Eugene Morris Jerome: You owe me five bucks.
Selridge: Hey, listen, twerp. You're lucky if you do one position.
Eugene Morris Jerome: I'm not doing anything if it's on an ironing board.
Carney: Why not? You'll get your shirt pressed for free.
Shawn Smith is a licensed psychologist in Denver, Colorado.