"Co-regulation" advocates say partners in good relationships only regulate their mate for his or her benefit. True, but these aren't the couples seeking treatment. People who need "co-regulation" depend on getting a positive reflected sense of self and emotional soothing from others. These people are most likely to regulate their partner for their own personal needs. The more you get your partner to give you the reflected sense of self and emotional soothing you need, the worse things get.
People who can't control themselves control the people around them