Have you ever wondered how many couples use pornography to enhance their sexual relationship? I haven't seen too many statistics on the topic so in my last blog I included a question in the survey that asked about the frequency with which couples use pornography in their relationship. 

Survey results with 344 men (33%) and women (66%) indicate that:

  • 1.2%    Always use porn
  • 3.8%    More often than not use porn
  • 19.2%  Occassionally use porn
  • 18.9%  Rarely use porn
  • 57%     Never use porn

While this statistic is interesting, it brought up other questions such as, "For those who use  pornography does it influence the frequency of sexual intimacy in the relationship?" and "What happens to the sexual intimacy in the 57% of relationships where porn is not used, but one of the parties is using porn solo?"

In order to answer these questions two additional questions were included in the survey.

The groups were divided by those who reported that pornography had not hurt their relationship (45%) and those who felt that pornography had indeed hurt their relationship (42%). The other 13% indicated that they "neither agree nor disagree" that porn had hurt their relationship. 

The first group of questions and results for the individuals who felt that pornography had not hurt their relationship are as follows:

Before Question:

"Before pornography became a part of your relationship (or your partner discovered you were involved) how often were you sexually intimate?

After Question:

Now that pornography has become a part of your relationship (or your partner discovered you were involved) how often are you sexually intimate?

Responses:

         Before /  After discovery or Porn introduced in the relationship

  • 18%  /   18%    =  Daily
  • 45%  /   37%    =  2-3 times a week
  • 16%  /   16%    =  1 time a week
  •   9%  /    8%     =  Every two weeks
  •   6%  /   11%    =  Once a month
  •   5%  /     5%    =  3-4 times a year
  •   0%  /     1%    =  Once a year
  •   2%  /     5%    =  We stopped having sex

The results from this sample of individuals indicates that in most of the relationships pornography didn't increase the frequency and in a few cases may have actually reduced the frequency.

In the group of individuals that report that pornography has harmed their relationship the number are significanly different.

Here's the question and results.

Before Question:

Before you discovered your partner was involved in pornography (or you started using porn in your relationship) how often were you sexually intimate?

After Question:

Now that you have discovered your partner's involvement in porn (or you have been using porn in your relationship) how frequently do you have sex?

Responses:

         Before /  After discovery or Porn introduced in the relationship

  • 19%  /   5%      =  Daily
  • 48%  /   23%    =  2-3 times a week
  • 20%  /   22%    =  1 time a week
  •   4%  /   14%    =  Every two weeks
  •   5%  /   12%    =  Once a month
  •   3%  /     9%    =  3-4 times a year
  •   1%  /     1%    =  Once a year
  •   1%  /    14%   =  We stopped having sex

For this group the discovery of pornography or using it in their relationship has significantly reduced the frequency of sexual intimacy. These findings counter the argument that individuals who view pornography are doing so because of the lack of sexual intimacy in their relationship. In fact, the results indicate that on average these individuals engage in sex as much or more than the most couples in the United States (2-3 times a week according to statistics). It is also interesting to note the significant drop off from 20% who reported having sex daily to only 5%. Finally, it is also interesting to note how many couples stopped having sex completely. Initially, only 1% had stopped having sex, but once pornography entered the relationship 14% stopped having sex.

These results demonstrate a clear division between individuals and couples who are using porn and are comfortable and those who feel that pornography is hurting their relationship. There are many couples whose lives are being dramatically altered because of pornography. Professional therapists, clergyman, and others who interact with these couples would benefit by understanding the difficulty and pain created when pornography enters a relationship and one partner is not comfortable with it. 

Unfortunately, far too many individuals and couples lives are being negatively influenced by pornography. .

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