Why Did Psammenitus Not Pity His Son?

What types of emotions are characteristic of close relationships and what types are not typical of such relationships? Why do fathers typically not envy or pity their sons, while people typically do feel jealous of their partners? The relevance to one’s self-image is crucial here.

Loving You Is Breaking My Heart

Love, is "a many splendored thing"; but love also involves a lot of suffering—especially in the case of unrequited love. Love can feel like being in paradise as well as being in hell. In both cases, the best suggestion is to keep on going. Why is it that love is so ambivalent, and why do we keep on loving even when it leads to heartbreak?

My Heart Has a Mind of Its Own

Emotional reasoning, which prevails in matters of the heart, is different from intellectual reasoning. Are these two types of reasoning condemned to fight each other, or can they be integrated? Should we follow our heart entirely in romantic matters, and are we able to resist it even if we want to?

All I Have to Do Is Dream

Andy Gibb and Victoria Principal sung the song that implies that lovers need merely to dream in order to sustain their love. Are dreams of any value in a romantic relationship? Apparently dreams were not sufficient to save Andy and Victoria’s love and Andy’s life. External circumstances were greater than their feelings for each other.

Mommy, Do You Love Me as Much as You Love Your Mommy?

When a child asks his mother whether she loves him as much as she loves her mother, the answer is not obvious. Although claiming that love has different forms which cannot be compared is the more profound answer, the claim that the mother loves her daughter more than her mother seems to better reflect reality in many cases.

Little Things Mean a Lot

Love is often described in terms of grand deeds, such as moving mountains. Love can indeed induce such deeds, but usually it is the little things that mean a lot more in love.

Why Did Descartes Love Cross-Eyed Women? The Lure of Imperfection

Why did the French philosopher Descartes love a girl whose pupils migrated toward her nose? Various reasons are proposed and the most powerful one may be the attraction of imperfection—given that a certain degree of (almost) perfection is present as well.

The Look of Love

What is the look of love? How can simple facial expressions express one of the most complex human emotions? People are often not even sure about the presence of emotion when they are asked about it. What is the secret of this meaningful look?

Why Do Runaway Brides Run Away?

A runway bride is a woman who cancels her wedding very close to the time of the ceremony or who even runs away from the ceremony itself. How can this phenomenon be explained? Why don't these women simply say “No” when the marriage is proposed?

Does Steve Jobs' Logic Apply to Love?

In his motivational “Don’t Settle” speech, Steve Jobs puts forward an ideal that we should aspire to fulfill. Can we follow his advice and not settle on issues of love and work? The answer is not apparent.

Lovers with Benefits

In my last post, I discussed the relationship of friendship with (sexual) benefits. Now I will turn to discuss the associated relationship of lovers with (emotional) benefits; the benefits here include caring and friendship that continues between the lovers’ occasional meetings.

Friends with Benefits

The relationship of friendship with (sexual) benefits has become increasingly popular. What underlies this attraction and is it a relationship that is beneficial? The answer to this is far from clear.

Coupling in Captivity

The feeling of being in captivity is common to many (some argue, most) people who are in a committed romantic framework. How can people cope with this feeling? Is such captivity so horrible? The answers to these questions are complex.

Does Equality Encourage Sexual Activity?

The role of equality and inequality in sexual activity involves certain ambiguities. I will briefly indicate some connections between equality and sexual activity while indicating that good sex is not always associated with equality.

Is Romantic Reconciliation Worth the Effort?

The breakup of a romantic relationship has a devastating emotional impact on at least one and often both partners. Nevertheless, there are many instances in which couples break up and then renew their relationship with the same partner. Are we masochists of some kind, or do we just prefer the devil we know over the unknown?

What’s Wrong With Our Desires?

We are all familiar with the common situation of getting what we desire and then being dissatisfied with it. Was there something inherently wrong with our desires? Is there any way for us to be more satisfied?

What Do You Do When Your Partner Is Not Perfect?

The notion of "the perfect partner" is central to our perception of romantic love. What do you do when your partner is not perfect? I examine this issue by referring to three major types of romantic compromises and illustrate their presence in the actual, true story of Anna.

What to Do When Feeling Romantically Compromised?

The feeling of being romantically compromised is common to many people, but the issue of what to do in this situation is unclear. I distinguish here between two major types of romantic compromises—one concerns the overall value of the partner, and one the nature of love—and then discuss types of behavior typical to each of them.

Increasing Your Desirability by Being Selectively Tempted

In some cases blocking the wish to be with one's lover can greatly increase your own desirability. Two ways of doing this are "Playing hard to get" and "The 'in due course' policy." In both cases, the advice of "Don't block everything and don't give everything" is sound.

I Never Realized That You Are a Compromise for Me

Many people are aware of the romantic compromises that they have made. However, can one make a romantic compromise without being aware of doing so? The answer to this is complex.

Is It Proper to Imagine Improper Deeds?

Our extensive use of imagination raises interesting questions concerning its morality. If imagination were in no sense real to us, it would hardly be improper to imagine improper deeds. Imagination, however, is powerful precisely because it is considered to be in some sense real.

My Lover Has Another Lover

If a married woman is having an affair, how should she react upon finding that her lover is having another affair? Should she continue the relationship with her lover and in so in what conditions? The story of Yael may clarify the romantic complexity of this situation.

I Am Not Hopelessly Devoted to You

Devotion to someone we love is an essential virtue in romantic relationships. But can we say that all kinds of devotion are positive? I believe that one does not want to be hopelessly devoted to any person.

I Married Because of External Circumstances

An ideal marriage is considered to be one which is based on passionate love. However, there are good marriages which last for a long time without passion.

When the One You Love Doesn't Love You (as Much)

Unrequited love is one of the saddest loving experiences. However, some people prefer it over a complete lack of love. Consider two situations: (a) you are in love with your partner but the partner does not love you (as much), or (b) your partner is in love with you but you are not in love (as much) with the partner. Which option will you choose?

When Are You Relevant to Your Romantic Partner?

Relevance is a key factor underlying the intensity of our emotions. Something which is relevant to our self-esteem generates intense emotions. Relevance is also important in romantic love. The issue of whether partners consider each other to be relevant to their self-esteem and goals is significant in falling in love and in maintaining it.

Are Lovers More Restless Than The Wicked?

It has been claimed that there is no rest for the wicked. Lovers seem to be restless as well. But are they more restless than the wicked?

Should We Fear The Light of Love?

Love is considered to be one of the most wonderful experiences of life. We are yearning all our life to be in love. So why do many people fear the light of love and often deliberately shun this light?

How Well Should You Know Your Online Lover?

People want to know more about their online lovers. However, one of the seductive characteristics of the net is that you have less information about each other. Should then lovers replace online communication with regular offline communication? The answer is no.