If you and your romantic partner have been together for a long time, there will likely be ups and downs in your degree of happiness with the relationship.
Certain events and situations will make your relationship and your partner feel valuable to you. Other events and contexts may leave you wondering why on earth you're with this person. If this sounds vague and abstract at this point, let me offer some specific examples to illustrate what I mean, as well as some practical takeaways:
1. When you're unwell.
If your partner is great at taking care of you when you're sick, that'll be a time your relationship feels especially value to you. On the other hand, if they're hopeless as a caregiver when you're ill, then your relationship may not feel particularly valuable to you when you're under the weather.
2. When you travel together.
If traveling together gives you a sense that your interests and rhythms are in sync, then your trips will make your relationship feel valuable to you. If you love globetrotting, but your partner hates to travel, or has completely different vacation preferences, shared trips will likely leave you feeling out of sync with each other.
3. When you're at parties.
If you're socially awkward, but your partner is more socially skilled, contexts like parties might make your relationship feel particularly valuable, such as if your partner takes the lead in finding people to talk to when neither of you know many guests at an event.
If your partner is aloof and refuses to accompany you to parties, then going to parties isn't going to make you feel like your relationship is valuable.
4. When you're working very hard.
Some partners are particularly good at being solid supportive "rocks" when their other half is immersed in a personal goal, such as studying for finals or working long hours to launch a business.
5. When you're doing projects together, e.g., renovations.
Some partners work well together on practical projects. Others definitely don't.
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