Controlling People

Recognising people as controllers is very helpful for understanding and improving interactions.

Mind the Gap

We’re designed to correct things when they are different from how we want them to be.

Do You Ever Find Life to be a Bit Formulaic?

Life is a formula - in fact, it's two.

You’re Never In Control

Nothing is ever good or bad but controlling makes it so.

Controlling Students

Nagging people to change a goal that they’re currently nurturing rarely works.

Getting What You Want

We are all wanters. Every one of us wants lots of different things all day, every day.

Goals Are Not What You Think!

Goals are always about the outcome or result of particular behaviours, not about the actions that bring those results into being.

You Have No Choice

It is the case that when one path is chosen, this has the effect of limiting our choices in other areas.

Who Are You?

Angst, stress, and inner torment can arise when the goals of different mes are incompatible or even oppositional.

Behaving Badly for Good Reasons

The key to changing unwanted behavior is to find and get to know that place in your mind where the behavior is not unwanted.

Controlling Other People Is Easy

The Holy Grail of humanity is findings ways to control what we want without stopping other people from doing the same thing.

The Dalai Lama Was Right!

We need to get much better at appreciating that behaviour from an observer’s perspective can be an entirely different experience from behaviour as it is experienced by the behaver.

Mindfulness Is Control

If you want to live a more mindful life or any kind of life at all, do what you can to understand the process of control.

Control: Nature’s Greatest Achievement

Control is like air. It’s all around us all the time and it’s essential to life.

Inside the Minds of Controlling People

It turns out that control is not the problem but, rather, it is the things that people choose to control that can either forge or fragment social bonds.

Our Greatest Global Challenge

How can we create a world where you and I can both get what we want?

Are You Able to Recognize Controlling People?

Being with others in ways that let them be and also allow us to get on with our own being is, perhaps, the most urgent quest of our time.

Controlling People

Control is one of the non-negotiables of living; at least if you want to stay living.

RID Yourself of Psychological Distress

When correcting any problem, the way in which the trouble is understood will have a large bearing on how effective and efficient the remediation efforts are.

The Being of Humans

Control is nothing more than the activity of making things be the way an individual wants them to be and keeping them that way until the individual decides they don’t need to be that way any more.


Understanding control is our greatest promise for a peaceful and ongoing future for our planet.

The Secret to Controlling Other People

It’s our own private collection of goals that determines what will be sticks and carrots for each of us.

Making Good Choices

Good choices are decisions that keep you heading in the direction you want to go.

The Internal Battle of Sport

Finding a space above the hum-drum, where the bigger picture becomes clearer to you, is the key to calming turbulent waters.

Helping People Find Their Way

The therapist’s job in MOL is to keep clients’ attention on the problem until they find their way home.

Avoidance is Never the Problem

Unconflicted avoidance is a perfectly reasonable strategy that we use every day.

The 3Y Secret to Greater Contentment

Once people come to understand themselves and their important motivations more clearly, they can evaluate for themselves whether the road they are currently on is likely to take them in the direction they wish to travel.

5 Facts That Can Help You Be More Content

Contentment is available to all of us by the way we construct and maintain our own internal landscape.

Some Negative Feedback for Positive Psychology

Negative feedback is the process through which we achieve goals.

The Difficulty of Self-Control is Conflict

The greatest freedom of all may be to live an unconflicted life.