Gage Skidmore, CC 3.0
Source: Gage Skidmore, CC 3.0

Like many people, I'm worried about whether President Trump will hurt our nation. One of my ways to cope with worry is to write.

Here’s the sort of speech I wish Trump would give, although there is near-zero chance he would. Perhaps reading it might encourage you to write what you think he should say or do. You might even, as I plan to, send your thoughts to the White House. Here’s the webpage where the public can do so.

My fellow Americans, first, thank you for being here to hear what I have to share with you today. I am well aware that many of you wish I weren’t president. Indeed, there are people in this audience holding up signs, “Resist,” “Dump Trump,” and some things I shouldn’t be saying---although yes, in the past I’ve said other things I shouldn’t have said. Despite it all, you’ve chosen to be here with me today. I thank you.

I was off-stage waiting to be introduced for my inauguration, alone in my thoughts that I’m about to assume the most powerful job in the world, worried if I’m up to the task. After all, while I’ve had successes, I’ve also had failures and I have had no experience in politics.

Amid my reverie, I saw a woman—she must have been 80—yelling at me, “If I could, I’d assassinate you!” I forced that out of my mind but after the inauguration, when I was sitting with my advisors, I asked them, “Do you think many people feel as she does?” My advisors knew I wanted the truth and they all nodded.

Clearly, I have polarized our nation. And already, in my first two weeks of office, I have made mistakes. It’s been recommended that a president try to do as much as possible during the first 100 days—That’s when the public and media want to give the President a chance to prove his or her mettle--though I can’t say the media and many in the public have given me much of a honeymoon—A recent headline in The Nation urged, “Throw Sand in the Gears” of everything I try to do. The media, especially the New York Times and CNN are doing all they can to do so. Nonetheless, I’m trying my best to make the biggest difference I can in my first 100 days. Even though I’m the oldest person ever to assume the presidency—I’m 70—I am working 16 hours a day for you. I basically work and sleep. I'm grateful that Melania understands.

In my eagerness to make a difference as quickly as possible and to keep my campaign promises, I’ve made mistakes. For example, I don’t think I made clear enough to the media that I do not want to ban all Muslims from coming to the U.S. even temporarily. Hundreds of thousands, the vast majority of Muslim visitors do not get a moment of extra screening. And even after the careful screening, almost all of those people were and will continue to be allowed to enter the U.S. I am not. Let me repeat, I am not anti-Muslim. I am anti-terrorism and pro-safety. I am privileged with the task of keeping America safe.

I also made a mistake when, during the campaign, after President Putin praised me, I called him a  "talented person" That gave the wrong impression. I want to make clear that while I intend to work with President Putin as with all world leaders, it will be from a position of what’s best for America and for the world. I will not let Putin, Iran’s President Rouhani, or anyone else take advantage of us. For decades now, we've been viewed by the world as a paper tiger. And just as Neville Chamberlain’s attempts to be peaceable with Adolf Hitler only resulted in more and unbelievably inhuman aggression, on a smaller scale, our kumbaya, peacenik foreign policy in which we draw lines in the sand that we back away from, will not help us. A PhD dissertation by Ernest Mattoon at Berkeley—hardly a conservative place---examined 2,000 years of world history and concluded that peace was far more likely when countries were militarily strong, not when they laid down arms. As President Reagan said: "Peace through strength.” That is one of this administration’s foundational principles.

Another of our foundational principles is the belief in meritocracy. Whatever benefits of attempting to redress discrimination through reverse discrimination are outweighed by the liabilities: the more qualified applicant to college who is rejected because of the color of her skin, the more qualified applicant for a job who is rejected because of his gender. Such injustices hurt not only the unfairly rejected person but results in coworkers saddled with a worse worker. It also hurts all of us who thereby receive worse products and worse services.

Such principles will guide this administration toward making America great again.

But I need your help now. I’m trying like hell to grow into this office but I’m experiencing growing pains. So I need a second chance. Soon, who knows? I may need a third. Perhaps at some point, you’ve wished someone gave you another chance.

But it’s been said that to justify a new decision, you need new information. So I thought I’d take the liberty of telling you a little about me personally and an event that sits underneath every decision I’ll ever make as your president.

When I was a teenager, my friends and I had gotten our first jobs. And I recall one telling me that she was working at an ice-cream shop. She bragged that she scooped hollow scoops of ice cream because it was less work for her. In my usual aggressive style, I said, “But you’re screwing the customer---You’re giving them air instead of ice cream. I’d never do that!”

I need to be honest with you, I have served hollow scoops. I served a hollow scoop when I said foolish things about women. I served a hollow scoop when I didn’t carefully enough steward Trump University.

As I work through my growing pains, I ask that you not abandon me. In exchange, I promise to do my best to never again give hollow scoops.

And with your help, and I really mean that, with your help—because no president can do it alone—we can make America great again. Thank you and good night.

HERE, I deliver that speech on YouTube.

The 2nd edition of The Best of Marty Nemko is now available. For information on career and personal coaching with Marty, email him at mnemko@comcast.net.

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