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Albert Bandura is professor of psychology emeritus at Stanford and father of social psychology. He is the most cited living psychologist and #4 on the list of 100 most eminent psychologists of the 20th century, after Freud, Skinner, and Piaget.
I am taken by Bandura’s statement, "There are countless studies on the negative spillover of job pressures on family life, but few on how job satisfaction enhances the quality of family life."
Indeed:
Money
If you’re satisfied with your job, you’re more likely to be good at it and thus to keep it and to advance. That usually builds your income, thereby avoiding some of the financial stress that afflicts many families. Indeed, the American Psychological Association’s Survey of Stress in America found that 31 percent of adults with partners reported that money is a major source of conflict in their relationship.
That good income also allows you to afford things that enhance family life, for example, even an addition to your small house so each of your kids can have their own bedroom or a family recreation room. You can afford those family vacations that create once-in-a-lifetime memories. My most family-bonding experience was when our family drove from our Flushing, Queens, apartment the 600 miles to Niagara Falls.
Emotional bandwidth
If you’re satisfied with your job, when you come home after the work day, you’re more likely to respond the way you’d like when, for example, your spouse wants your attention or when your kids insist you make their favorite dinner and when you do, they change their mind and won’t eat it.
The last thing a good parent would do is hit their child. Yet even good parents, atop the frustrations of a long day at a job they hate, end up losing it, at least occasionally. Apologies later won’t help—The child sees that the parent is hypocritical in telling them to not hit.
Role modeling
If you like your job, you’re more likely to—without lecturing—convey to your kids work’s value, that work feels rewarding and isn’t just a painful necessity—It can be too tempting to avoid painful necessities.
A corollary of that is that seeing a parent doing work without complaint conveys that children’s work—doing well in school, including homework—is to be expected. You've demonstrated that you walk the talk. Actions speak louder than words; show don’t tell.
The takeaway
So, if you’re contented with your work life, as Bandura said, not only do you have much to be grateful for, so does your family.
And if you are unhappy at work, that indeed may be hurting not only you but your family. Might this be a wake-up call to see if you might improve your job situation? For example:
- Could you trade your least favorite work task with a co-worker who might do it better or enjoy it more in exchange for you doing one of their tasks?
- Should you ask your boss if your job description might be tweaked to accentuate your strengths and preferences?
- Might your boss tweak your work environment. For example, if you’re annoyed and distracted in your open-office workspace, might you at least get a cubicle in the corner?
- Could you get to report to a different boss?
- Do you need to work for a different employer?
- Do you need a modest career change?
- Do you need a radical one?
Marty Nemko’s bio is in Wikipedia. His newest book, his 8th, is The Best of Marty Nemko.
